Chatting with an English couple the other day about the strange convolutions of the Italian language, the conversation moved onto the famous topic of piacere (to please). As a visitor to Italia you can be sure that you will be asked frequently ‘ti piace questo, ti piace quello?’ (do you like this, do you like that?) and so on. So, be prepared!

The problem, of course, is conceptual. In English the idea of ‘I like’ is so ingrained that it’s difficult to turn things around and get used to the idea the it’s not me that does the liking, but the object, or idea that pleases me … che mi piace.

And even when we’ve got the hang of basic phrases such as mi piace l’Italia (Italy pleases me – I like Italy) there are all those other inconvenient complications: plurals, conditionals, present perfects … mamma mia, aiuto! How on earth does one say, for example “I would have liked to have bought those shoes, but they were a bit too tight”? Read on, and all will be revealed …

Let’s begin with the plural. Remember: it’s not you that does the liking, it’s the thing that pleases you, therefore if there is more than one thing that pleases you it becomes ‘they please me’ = mi piacciono. For example: mi piacciono i gatti (cats please me - I like cats), ma non mi piacciono i cani (but dogs don’t please me – but I don’t like dogs). Embrace the concept of ‘mi piace’ = it pleases me, and try to bypass the mental translation process, i.e. let go of the concept of ‘I like’. This is a very important stage in beginning to think in a second language.

Now let’s try the conditional: Remember, it’s the thing that pleases you, therefore when we use the conditional form we need to apply it to the thing, such as ‘a cup of coffee’ for example: Mi piacerebbe un buon caffè = a good cup of coffee would please me. And in the plural mi piacerebbero delle scarpe nuove = some new shoes would please me. N.B. I’m deliberately not translating these phrases as ‘I like’, let’s try and leave it out, it just gets in the way.

Now let’s talk about things that pleased us using the present perfect: ti è piaciuto il gelato? = did the ice cream please you? Plural: ti sono piaciute le lasagne? = did the lasagne please you?

If we want to talk about what would have pleased us we use the past conditional: mi sarebbe piaciuto andare a Piacenza = going to Piacenza would have pleased me, mi sarebbe piaciuto comprare quelle scarpe ma erano un po’ troppo strette – it would have pleased me to buy those shoes but they were a bit too tight. Plural: mi sarebbero piaciute quelle scarpe ma erano troppo strette = those shoes would have pleased me but they were too tight.

If you have any questions leave a comment below.

Previously in Tales of La Gioconda: Monna Lisa Stolen from the Louvre by Decorator!!

Vincenzo Leonard was the pseudonym of Louvre decorator and odd job man Vincenzo Peruggia who was born near Luino in northern Italy.  Like thousands of other Italians, Peruggia emigrated to France in search of work. In his role as Louvre odd job man Peruggia had helped to put the protective glass over the portrait of La Gioconda. Filled with a great sense of Italian patriotism, he erroneously believed that Leonardo‘s painting had been stolen from Italy by Napoleon, and decided to return it to his beloved homeland.

On the night of the 20th of august 1911 he took the painting down from the wall and removed it from its frame, he then went and hid in a storeroom (fortunately for him there were no alarm systems installed in those days). The following morning he walked out of the museum with the portrait hidden under his coat, took a taxi to his hotel, and placed the Monna Lisa inside the false bottom of his suitcase, which he kept hidden underneath his bed. Little is known of Peruggia’s whereabouts over the following two years, although it is said that he went back to his native town of Luino, where he stayed with some relatives.

Following his arrest, Peruggia was tried in Italy where the defence argued that Vincenzo’s action was based on a misplaced sense of patriotism and had not been carried out for personal gain. It is important to remember that at that time Italy was still a young nation, and a strong sense of patriotism prevailed. Due to this, Peruggia received a lot of support for his ‘theft’ from his fellow countrymen. His defence lawyer also tried to demonstrate that Vincenzo wasn’t very bright. In order to prove this a psychiatrist questioned him during the trial in the following way: «Su un albero ci sono due uccelli. Se un cacciatore spara a uno di loro, quanti ne rimangono sull’albero?» «Uno?», rispose Peruggia. «Deficiente!», urlò il medico. La risposta corretta era zero, perché l’altro uccello sarebbe scappato!  (“On a tree there are two birds. If a hunter shoots at one of them, how many are left on the tree?” “One?”, replied Peruggia. “Idiot!” shouted the doctor. The correct reply was none, because the other bird would have flown away!)

Peruggia was found guilty of theft, and given a prison sentence of 1 year and 15 days, later reduced to 7 months when he was officially declared mentally retarded. In the meantime the Monna Lisa  made a triumphant tour through the major cities of her homeland, including Firenze, Roma, and Milano, where sixty thousand Italians crowded into the Brera museum for a final good-bye. She was then returned to France on a specially scheduled train together with an escort of museum officials, and policemen, arriving at the Louvre on the 4th of January 1914, where she was received by the French President and his ministers. La Gioconda was greeted in France with all the honours due to an important head of state.

It’s Monday the 21st of August 1911, the Louvre museum is closed to the public, and only a few people with special permission are allowed in. Amongst them is Louis Berould, who is hoping to paint a copy of the Monna Lisa. When he reaches the gallery where La Gioconda is exhibited, Berould finds an empty space on the wall where the world’s most famous portrait normally hangs. Annoyed, he complains to the custodian, who suggests that the painting has probably been taken down to be photographed, and promises to make some enquiries. A search of all rooms and cellars follows, but by the following day nothing has turned up … it appears that the Monna Lisa has been stolen!

Panic strikes and over the following weeks more than a thousand people are stopped and questioned by the Parisian police, including the French poet Guillaume Apollinaire and the Spanish artist Pablo Picasso. Apollinaire is famous for having declared that all works of art preserved in museums should be burned to make space for modern art, while Picasso is known for having joked: “I’m going to the Louvre, does anybody need anything?”. However, they are soon released, and the tip off given against Apollinaire by his former lover turn out to be just a vindictive lie. Suspicion also fall on the German government, as the relationship between the two countries is quite strained.

Months and years go by and there is still no trace of Leonardo’s painting, it seems to have disappeared from the face of the earth, and its place on the wall at the Louvre is taken by the portrait of Baldassarre Castiglione by Raffaello.

Then in 1913 the Florentine art patron and antique dealer Alfredo Geri receives a letter from a certain Vincenzo Leonard declaring that he has possession of the real Gioconda. Leonard states that he wants to repatriate the painting to the Italian State where he believes it belongs. He asks a price of 500,000 Lira ‘to cover the expenses’! Alfredo Geri organises a meeting with Vincenzo Leonard to which he also invites the director of the Uffizi Museum, Giovanni Poggi. The meeting takes place in a Florentine hotel which, due to the incident, has since been renamed Hotel Gioconda. Upon seeing the painting the two art experts immediately realise that it isn’t just another copy, but the original Monna Lisa. Using the excuse that they need to examine the painting in a bit more detail, they ask Vincenzo Leonard to come back later, but while he’s gone they alert the police, who come and arrest him.

But who was Vincenzo Leonard, and why did he steal the Monna Lisa? All will be revealed in Part 3 of … Tales of La Gioconda