Polish Language Blog

I know there are some foreigners out there who are convinced that 50% of Polish women are named Anna and the other 49% – Agnieszka. The remaining percent is claimed by Katarzyna, Małgorzata and Edyta, with a few Grażynas stuck in there for variety’s sake.

I always shook my head with disbelief when I heard such a thing and went on my merry way murmuring something under my nose about clueless foreigners.

But lately, I see that, golly gee whiz, they actually might have been right. I did a first name tally of my Polish female friends and acquaintances and to my utter shock and horror saw the naked truth about Annas and Agnieszkas.

Exactly 50% of the women I know are named Anna (and I didn’t even include myself in this head count). About 30% are named Agnieszka. And the rest are indeed Katarzynas, Małgorzatas, Edytas and Grażynas. There’s also a Wioletta and a Paulina and a Dominika and two Monikas.

And that got me thinking. How do people choose those names for their children?
My parents wanted something universal in every language, without any funny Polish letters, impossible pronunciations, and short enough so every dummy (including myself) could remember it very easily.

And while Anna is pronounced differently in different parts of the world, it’s still easy to guess that it’s me they’re talking about. In Poland, it’s “ahn – na”, by the way. The middle “n” is doubled not only in writing, but also in sound.

But not all Polish names are so accommodating. If you’re ever heard a foreigner butchering “Katarzyna”, you know what I’m talking about.

Still, that doesn’t explain the immense popularity of Annas and Agnieszkas in Poland.

And why am I writing about it today? I met a new person yesterday, a foreigner. I told him I was Polish, but didn’t introduce myself.

He said, “let me guess – Agnieszka?”
I said, “no.” And his answer was, “then it must be Anna.” And bingo.

Now there’s another person out there convinced that every Polish woman is named either Anna or Agnieszka.

I have to tell you about something that happened this week. And after you hear this story, please tell me what you think…

So, I had to write an email to somebody. A perfect stranger. A person I’ve never met. A person who happens to hold an important position at one of the institutions of higher learning in Poland. I had an informal question to ask about Polish language materials.

Because the person is relatively young (younger than me, in fact) and because it was a rather general inquiry directed not necessarily to that particular person (as I wasn’t sure who would read my email), and because the name of the person was not included in the email address, I thought I should start my letter in a rather neutral manner with a rather neutral greeting in a rather non-committal way.

So, to keep things simple, I wrote “witam” in the header. And boy oh boy, apparently I screwed up. And screwed up big time.

I had no idea that there were such strict rules regarding this simple word. I’ve always thought that “witam” was a more polite way of saying “hello” (and yes, it can also mean “welcome”). Tons of people use “witam” as “hello” and I bet none of them ever got chewed out the way it’s happened to me.

Because apparently, by using “witam” to greet a stranger, I’m implying that I am more important than him/her, have higher standing and higher position and what not. In other words, that’s how the ruling class greets the paupers. And it rubbed my correspondent the wrong way. Big time.

My humble “witam” galled the person so much that in response I got a lecture on manners, culture (or my lack of it) and my totally inadequate qualifications to talk to others about the Polish language. Because apparently, according to my correspondent, if I can’t get such a simple thing as a proper greeting right, I am totally unsuitable for more involved conversations on topics such as grammar, spelling, and what it means to be Polish.

Przegięcie totalne, wouldn’t you say? A total overreaction, at least in my opinion.
But because I take such comments very seriously, I went searching for answers.

And when it comes to “witam”, the internet is not a good place to look for references. It seems that at least in cyberspace “witam” is a commonly accepted greeting.

But then I consulted “Poradnik poprawnej polszczyzny”, and wouldn’t you know it? In my face. According to the experts, I committed a terrible faux pas. By using “witam”, I made it clear that I think very highly of myself and consider myself superior to my correspondent.

And what do I think about all this? Those experts should just move on with the times and get a grip. Polish, just like any other language, is evolving, and it seems to me that those experts would like for it to stay in the middle ages.

What do you think? Was it an overreaction on the part of my correspondent, or am I really a classless snob who doesn’t know jack?

One of the joys of traveling in a foreign country (or reading a map, if you can’t travel) is seeing all the strange, wonderful, funny and otherwise goofy names along your route. That applies to just about any country, as people living in F*@#$g (Austria) and Climax Springs (USA) can tell you. And Great Britain is just chock full of odd place names.

It’s a very entertaining way of passing time during long and otherwise boring road trips. And since the holidays are right around the corner and may of you will travel to Poland to spend Christmas and New Year with your loved ones, I thought it might be a good idea to show you just what kind of odd names you can encounter while driving from one end of the country to the other. Yes, Poland. Poland has its own share of strange (and some are really strange) place names.

For example, take this village in kujawsko-pomorskie voivodeship – Złe Mięso. Yep, a place named “Bad Meat.” Let’s just hope no food processing plants are located there.

Bad Meat can definitely be one of Stanisława’s Problems. Yes, there is a village between Siedlce and Białystok called Kłopoty Stanisławy.

Fancy traveling a bit further than just boring, old Poland? No worries, you can do that without ever leaving the country. There’s a Korea in podkarpackie voivodeship (wonder if they make kimchee there), Ameryka (America) nearby Opole. Not enough? We also have Węgry (Hungary), Paryż (Paris) and Wenecja (Venice).

click on the map for a larger view

Here’s a very cool map of most of the places with goofy names in Poland. Some of them I will not list here, because I want to keep it as a PG blog.

And what’s my favorite name? I heard about this one a while back, but didn’t quite believe it. Mała Wieś przy Drodze – Little Village by the Road.

Now, courtesy of yellerbelly’s most excellent photography skills and his Warsaw Daily Photo blog, I have visual proof that Little Village by the Road is not an urban legend and does indeed exist.

So, what are some of your favorite Polish place names?