Polish Language Blog

Today, Adam, our resident guest blogger continues the somber mood of national mourning by shedding light on some ancient Polish customs, traditions and superstitions about death. Or Death.

Poland is a country over 1000 years old. In the days where there was no knowledge and no scientific method, the world was explained in myths and legends. As this is the day of the funeral of the President of Poland Lech Kaczyński, and the official mourning in Poland continues, the Polish Blog decided to describe some of those ancient death superstitions.

For the Polish forefathers and foremothers death was something natural. It was a transition to another world. Ancient rituals needed to be observed. Otherwise the dead person might come back to haunt the living.

Death announced its coming in the dreams that the person whom it sought, or their family, had. Dreaming about a thief sneaking into the house, loosing teeth, being touched by a dead person, being sucked into a swamp or into a hole with lime – was a forewarning that Death was coming into the house. Dreaming about meat, geese, or underwear was also a very bad sign.

Before Death was to take its chosen one, it was said to wander around the house for three days. Phenomena that announced it was there included unexplained knocking on the door or window frames… Its messengers were crows and ravens.

Animals had the gift to see Death, and could warn people about its presence. People looked to warnings in the howling of dogs. Looking between the ears of a dog, was thought to allow a human to see Death as well.

However, the person who was to die, was also said to be able to see Death at the headboard of their bed. Death was a real person, although invisible to the human eye. It did its duty using a scythe or a hammer.

When Death came, when someone did die, everything in a house was brought to a halt. No domestic duties were carried out anymore. All mirrors were covered, and all clocks stopped. Because dead-person’s belongings were thought to bring bad luck, especially straw from the mattress, they were burned – outside the house, and often outside the village. The body had to be washed with water, and the water was poured out outside the village as well, as it was a poison that brought Death. The body was then dressed in Sunday-best clothing. The clothing had to be without knots, as had the coffin.

The soul was flying out of the body through the mouth, and via the chimney to be tried before God. But then it came back, and witnessed everything that was said about the deceased. The eyes of the deceased were closed, and coins put on them. When someone looked at the coffin through a keyhole, they could see the soul near it.

Until the funeral was performed, inhabitants were gathering to talk about the life of the deceased, finding their good side. Also their enemies, and those who disagreed with them, came from far away – as this way they erased their faults towards the deceased, and showed their own forgiveness. People prayed, drank alcohol and ate food. A candle was placed near the deceased so that they could find their way to paradise. If someone did not arrive to the wake, the spirit might call them to it itself.

The deceased could however turn into a ghost, a phantom. Therefore, the wake was aimed to prevent that. The body was being observed – to catch such ghostly symptoms. Otherwise the ghost might bring Death to the family. And it was said to climb the church bell tower and ring the bells, this was to bring Death, and unexplained phenomena on whole village. These included: fires, infestation by mice and rats, illnesses, death of animals. If such things happened, everyone knew whose fault that was. When someone was perceived as “strange” during their lifetime, they were a certain candidate for a ghost. They were watched more closely. If there was any doubt that something wasn’t right, stones or bricks were placed in the coffin just in case. Sand or poppy seeds were placed inside, so that the ghost would be occupied with counting all its particles. Or a fishing net, so that they would be occupied with untying it. A sickle might be put on the body’s neck. Or the body might be turned upside down.

It was important to say goodbye to the deceased once and for all. For that, everyone had to lay a kiss on the dead person’s hand or cheek. Childbearing women were excused from this custom, however. If the deceased was not paid this respect, their spirit would come back to haunt.

Regardless of whether the deceased was “normal” or not, they had to be walked to the graveyard in a procession. Because the dead person was emotionally tied with their home, efforts were made so that they don’t stay there. All chests and all doors were open. When the coffin was carried away from the house, it should be used to knock three times on the entrance, and all chairs and seats should be laid on the floor. The coffin couldn’t touch any wall as this brought bad luck and death. The behavior of the horses carrying the coffin was also closely monitored. Whether they scoop the ground, look back, or look at another house too much. After leaving the village or town, the driver threw a handful of straw or seeds behind his back.

On the way back from the funeral one was supposed to behave calmly and not look back. People believed that the dead are with them on major holidays, like Easter or Christmas, and it was a duty to welcome them. Therefore an extra seat and plate was always provided at the table.

This is only a small part of the folk traditions connected with death that used to be observed on Polish lands in ancient times. Some of these customs have survived in a modified form until today, however, most people are unaware of their ancient origins.

Since Adam’s post about going z wizytą (to visit someone) is proving quite popular (to read it, check the previous entry on the blog), let me expand on it a bit.

The “cut your meat before eating” stuff is confusing some readers. Sorry. In retrospect I realize it should have been phrased somewhat differently.

OK, so here we go (w gości, LOL!)

In Poland, it seems to be common to hold widelec (fork) in your left hand and nóż (knife) – in your right hand. You only cut a little bit of the food – as much as will fit onto the fork in one go. Daintily lift it and shove it in your mouth in a very sophisticated manner – trying not to drop any food bits along the way. And then repeat the whole procedure – cut, place on the fork (which is still in your left hand, by the way), eat, and so on.

A very European way of eating, which becomes a highly refined method of torture if you are unlucky enough to be served groszek z marchewką (green peas and carrots) along with your ziemniaki (potatoes) and mięso (meat).

As a kid I thought it rather tedious and unproductive and decided that cutting all the food all at once before eating was the way to go. Then put down the knife, transfer the fork to your right hand and enjoy.

Last year in Poland I saw more and more people eating that way, so it seems to me that it’s becoming more accepted now than it was once upon a time. Back in the olden days eating like that was a sure sign of very poor table manners.

Now, about kapcie (slippers).
Poland is not the only country in the world where taking your shoes off upon entering someone’s home is common. As a person who’s stuck doing all the floor mopping and vacuuming, I like this custom. So if you want to visit me, make sure your socks are clean.

And about Polish hospitality (gościnność).
I know of families (I come from one) where the first question you are asked when you visit is “Jadłaś już obiad?” (Have you had dinner yet?, when asking a familiar female) and then regardless of your answer, you are served a full meal. Which of course you should eat, because otherwise you’ll end up looking like an ungrateful prick with appalling manners.

But as everything else when it comes to all things Polish, this post should come with the following disclaimer – your experience may vary.

Today Adam explains what to do and what to expect if you’re going to visit a Polish person in his/her natural habitat. Read on:

Continuing the topic of advice for travelers and the occasional foreigner living in Poland, this time I decided to follow your suggestions and cover visiting someone at home (iść w gości).

Rule number one is that there are (unfortunately) no rules. What I mean by that, is, that contrary to some cultures where some customs need to be observed, in Poland there is no strict code to follow. Things vary from region to region, from city to city and from home to home. You are on your own, and moving in the savoir vivre mist. The general trend is the change from a warm and hospitable “country of the East” into the cold and stiff “country of the North”.

For instance: you would like to visit someone, should you announce yourself in advance? First of all, contrary to popular stereotypes about hospitable Poles, some people would rather not receive guests at home. Going out is becoming increasingly popular in Poland, and causes less hassle. I am one of those who usually don’t receive guests, and therefore I seldom visit anyone else at home. I would rather wait for someone’s invitation. I can imagine asking someone if I could pop round, but that would have to be someone close. Many people, especially in central and eastern parts of the country, Warsaw, and rural areas would, on the other hand, be more likely to happily receive unannounced guests. It is therefore worth to know your friends’ preferences.

When you are visiting someone, should you bring anything with you? Generally you don’t have to, however it would be a nice touch if you did. Flowers and wine? These would apply to some rather formal dinner parties, and even then I wouldn’t really advise them. A good idea, unless your hosts are on a diet, would be a box of chocolates. And among all kinds of chocolates, I would advise to avoid the cheapest and the most expensive (and tiniest).

The best idea of all times is a box of Ptasie Mleczko (literally “bird’s milk”), chocolate covered milk souffle, a Polish favorite. A great idea would be to bring a small gift (also food or drink) connected with the place of your origin or residence.

Some people, again looking at stereotypes, would think about bringing wódka (vodka). If you do know your hosts well, and you are sure they will not take such a gift in wrong way, and you know you will be drinking hard liquor, you may consider it. Among people I know it is rather rare to entertain with alcohol, other than wine – and that still seldom.

What may surprise you is that some people may ask you to take your shoes off and wear guest slippers (kapcie dla gości). And people visiting you also may feel obliged to take shoes off and wear slippers. Think about it in advance. If you have no problem with it, than everyone is happy.

I never take my shoes off in someone’s house. But I do have a few of “emergency” disposable beauty-salon slippers, just in case. I just don’t like the idea of sharing footwear. I would take it with me when visiting someone who I know expects guests to take shoes off and is uncompromising. I would also offer it to those visiting me, who cannot be convinced it is alright for them to wear their shoes on my carpets. Consider getting a pair.

What can you expect during your visit? Some people, regardless if this was what was scheduled, will offer you a rich meal of many dishes, including cakes. This is the old-style hospitality that is becoming more and more rare. Sometimes, especially when there was no mention of a meal in the invitation, you can expect tea/coffee and cookies.

During a meal, you do not have to eat everything. It would be a good idea to at least try everything you are given, even if you anticipate it might not be to your taste. A note to Americans: people will be surprised to see you cut your meats before eating, but you can go ahead with it, it might begin an interesting conversation.

Try to leave when your hosts are still hungry for your presence. It is always better than to leave them feeling you stayed too long.

Anna’s comment – all of my Polish relatives cut their meat before eating, they say it’s easier that way. I never thought it was anything unusual until it was pointed out to me by an American (of all people)!