Archive for 'Soviet Union'

Scary Stories to Read This Halloween

Posted on 26. Oct, 2011 by in Culture, language, Russian for beginners, Soviet Union

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Well, it’s that time of the year again. Halloween is just a few days away. If you remember, last year we had a post about «празднуют ли Хэллоуин в России и если да, то как» [whether Halloween is celebrated in Russia and if yes, then how].

Sure, Halloween does not have deep roots in Russia where it’s a recent addition to the holiday lineup. But this doesn’t mean you can’t find some really good scary stories to enjoy on October 31.

If you have enough time, you can read the story of «Вий» [Viy] by Nikolai Gogol (also English translation). I read it when I was about 10 or so and it made a huge impression on me. In fact, I tried carrying a small piece of «мел» [chalk] with me whenever possible for a couple of months afterwards. Of course, «мел» was «дефицитный товар» [a hard-to-find item] which only confirmed my belief in its magical protective powers.

Interestingly, the spell disappeared just as soon as I watched «одноимённый фильм» [a movie by the same name]. The “Viy” movie is worth watching not just because it’s sort of scary-ish, but also because it’s the only «фильм ужасов» [scary movie] made in Soviet Union. Can you imagine, growing up not knowing what «ужастик» [a scary movie] was?

Besides, it wasn’t really a scary movie at all. After all, it started off with the disclaimer, read calmly in a pleasant voice of a male narrator:

«Вий есть колоссальное создание простонародного воображения. Вся эта повесть есть народное предание.»

[Viy is a colossal creation of popular imagination. This entire tale is a folk legend.]

But if you are short on time or would like to read a simpler story, then Viy is not for you. Instead, I highly recommend «страшилки» [bogeyman stories]. These are not found in books. Instead, they are part of an oral tradition, being passed from child to child, remaining practically unchanged for years.

Told late at night, when all lights are out and no adults are present, these stories can be absolutely terrifying in their straightforwardness, abruptness, simple narrative and uncanny way of making everyday objects terrifying.

Here’s a sample:

«Чёрные занавески» [Black curtains]

«Жили мать, отец, девочка и её брат. Один раз мать послала девочку купить занавески, но сказала, что не покупай чёрные занавески. Девочка пришла в магазин, а там были только чёрные занавески, и она купила чёрные.» 

[There once lived a mother, a father, a little girl and her brother. Once mother sent the girl to buy curtains, but said not to buy black ones. The girl went to the story, which only had black curtains and so she bought them.]

«Мама повесила их на окно. Ночью чёрные занавески задушили отца. Отца похоронили. На следующую ночь занавески задушили мать. Её тоже похоронили. На следующую ночь занавески задушили брата.»

[Mother put them on the window. At night the curtains choked the father to death. So the father was buried. Next night the curtains choked the mother to death. So she too was buried. The night after that the curtains choked the brother.]

«Тогда девочка пошла в милицию и всё рассказала милиционерам. Они ночью спрятались под кроватью, а девочка легла в кровать. Когда занавески захотели задушить девочку, милиционеры выстрелили в них. Занавески закричали, у них полилась чёрная кровь, и они умерли.»

[The the girl went to the police and told everything to policemen. They hid under her bed at night and the girl laid in bed. When the curtains wanted to choke the girl, policemen shot at them. The curtains screamed, black blood poured out of them and they died.]

Morbid? For sure! Interestingly, of all the lessons that could be learned for this little tale – listening to one’s parents, calling the police right away, not waiting until the last moment – the only lesson that really stuck in my mind was the one about not buying black curtains.

After a few trips to summer camps, a couple of sleepovers and a very short stay at a children’s hospital, I also learned to avoid the following objects:

  • Food, including «красное печенье» [red cookie]
  • Clothing – «красные перчатки» [red gloves], but also pretty much any other article of clothing as long as it was either «красное» [red], «чёрное» [black] or «белое» [white], including «тапочки» [slippers], «колготки» [tights], «платье» [dress] and even «ленточка» [ribbon]
  • Any and all furniture and décor items that were «чёрные» [black] or «красные» [red], including «шторы» [drapes], «занавески» [curtains], «пианино» [piano], «картина» [picture] and many more
  • Bare walls and floors weren’t safe either. They had to be carefully examined for the ominous black or red «пятна» [spots].
  • Flowers, such as «чёрные тюльпаны» [black tulips] and «чёрные розы» [black roses]
  • Toys, including «стеклянная кукла» [glass doll]
  • And, most disturbingly, ones relatives, as shown in stories about «бабушка-оборотень» [werewolf grandmother] and «дедушкины руки» [grandfather’s hands].

As you can see, pretty much every object in a child’s surroundings was covered by these stories, from «Автобус с чёрными шторками» [a bus with black curtains] to «Я в доме хозяин» [I am the master of the house] and from «Чёрная голова» [head - black head] to «Красные ноги» [red legs]. You can read these and many more on this excellent site called «детские страшилки» [children’s scary stories].

Which story do you like most/least? Or maybe just add your own story here.

By the way, when I fact-checked the movie “Viy”, all the sites mentioned that it was “just about the only Soviet scary movie”. Do you know any other ones?

Советские Анекдоты [Soviet Jokes]

Posted on 26. Sep, 2011 by in Culture, Russian life, Soviet Union

«Дорогие друзья» [Dear friends], it is with great pleasure that I inform you that I am in an advanced Russian class this year. We have been reading «советские анекдоты» [Soviet jokes] in class and I want to share a few of them with you, as they are often quite funny. In the photo: a visual joke of sorts – graffiti on the Berlin Wall.

«–Цензурируется ли переписка советских граждан?
–Нет, но письма антисоветского содержания адресатам не доставлются.»

[–Is Soviet correspondence censored?
–No, but letters with anti-Soviet content are never delivered.]

«–На какие категории подразделяются советские диссиденты?
–На сидентов, досидентов, отсидентов, пересидентов, ожидантов и вновьсидентов.»

[–Into what categories are Soviet dissidents broken down?
–Those who are sitting (i.e. in jail), those who are almost done sitting, those who are just out from sitting, those who sitting longer than their sentence, those who are waiting to sit, and those who are sitting again.]

This is quite a clever joke, but I did not understand it until my professor explained it to us. It plays with the idea of Russian prefixes and the verb «сидеть», which can mean to be in jail.

«–Что такое СССР?
–Спальная, столовая, сортир, работа.»

[–What does USSR stand for?
–Bedroom, dining room, toilet, work.]

My favorite version of this joke has «Смерть Сталина спасёт Россию» [Stalin's death will save Russia] as the punch line. Also, if I’m not mistaken, «сортир» is not a polite word, so you probably should not go around using it!

«–Нужна ли в русском языке буква “М”?
–Не нужна. Мяса нет, маргарина нет, молока нет. Маленкова нет, Молотова тоже нет. Остался один Микоян и тот не русский.»

[-Do we need the letter "M" in Russian?
-No. There's no meat, margarine, or milk. There's no Malenkov, or Molotov either. Only Mikoyan remains, and he's not Russian.]

This is my favorite joke. It’s from the 1950s, so it plays on the chronic food shortages in the Soviet Union, as well as de-Stalinization. (Malenkov and Molotov were Stalin allies, as was Mikoyan. However, Mikoyan fared better under de-Stalinization because he backed Khrushchev’s efforts. Also, Mikoyan was Armenian, hence the comment on him not being Russian.)

Do you have a favorite joke in Russian? Do you want me to post more Soviet jokes later this week? Let me know in the comments!

So What’s Being Given Away?

Posted on 26. Aug, 2011 by in Culture, History, Soviet Union

This was the first electronic game I ever played and one of the only two I really got into (the other one was Arkanoid). This particular game, called simply Electronika, was extremely popular (as if there were other alternatives, right?). It seemed that everyone but me had it. This is NOT what’s being given away (I honestly don’t think I’d be able to part with it if I somehow got a console). But it is very relevant to the giveaway. Keep reading to find out how.

By the time you’ll be reading the giveaway will be over, the winner chosen and the secret revealed. But at the time of writing of this post, there are still a few hours left in the giveaway. So the only thing I can do right now is to reveal the secret prize.

I’m not exactly sure how to say “giveaway” in Russian. It’s neither a «лотерея» [lottery] nor «тотализатор» [tote board] nor «конкурс» [contest]. So I’m going to settle on «посты с бесплатной выдачей приза» [posts with giving away of a free prize]. And speaking of «этот самый приз» [this very prize], it’s about time to explain what’s being given away.

Do you believe that «книга – лучший подарок» [a book is the best gift]? I do! For a while Russians prided themselves to be «самая читающая страна в мире» [the most well-read country in the world]. But I realize that «труднопроизносимые имена, уменьшительно-ласкательные имена и прозвища» [hard to pronounce names, diminutives and nicknames], «предложения с деепричастными оборотами» [sentences with verbal adverb phrases], and, as one of the readers put it recently, “tantric suffering” of the characters might make Russian classical literature not so «читабельная» [readable] to many readers.

But the book that’s being given away is nothing of the sorts. It’s written in English and it’s «документальная литература» [a non-fiction book]. It is “Made in Russia: Unsung Icons of Soviet Design”. This book “celebrates the more populist and enduring work in graphic and industrial design” produced in the Soviet Union.

Years back, consumer goods «сделанные в Советском Союзе» [made in the USSR] were considered inferior to those made elsewhere. They were of poor quality and, usually, extremely unappealing. Just think of the Soviet-era underwear.  When I think of items like «колготки» [tights], «куклы» [dolls], «машины» [cars], «шкафы» [wardrobes], and many others I feel both bitter and amused.

This book reminded me of other things, the ones that were actually well-designed or at least were intended to be well-designed. Some of the designs we took for granted, such as the «авоська» bags or «треугольные молочные пакеты» [triangular milk cartons]. But all became symbolic of supposedly non-consumerist era.

So that’s the prize that is being given away in just about an hour or so.

Finally, a bit of house-keeping here – I will be randomly selecting a winner in just a little bit (by the time you’re reading this, I will already know the name). But I might not be able to post the announcement on the blog until next week. Blame it on «ураган» [hurricane] Irene. If it goes the way they are predicting, I might not have Internet connection for a few days.