Russian Language Blog

The old Soviet postcard reads: Glory to the Soviet Army! The word “Army” is generic conversational for Armed Forces. So if you say that you are a sergeant in the Army, you might need to specify it further whether you are in the Ground Forces, Air Force, Marines, or the Navy. 

February 23^rd is yet another holiday in Russia – День защитника Отечества (Defender of the Fatherland Day). The majority of young Russian males end up serving in the Armed Forces as призывники (draftees). Comparatively few Russian women serve in the military. Besides, women have their own holiday on March 8^th. For all these reasons, February 23^rd is usually viewed as a men’s holiday.

Since as I mentioned, most Russian males have some армейский опыт (army experience), they tend to tell stories about their days in the military whenever an opportunity presents itself. And that’s those with experience either as солдаты срочной службы (draftee soldiers) who served for two years (if drafted before 2008) or even just one year (if drafter after 2008) or professional контрактники (contract soldiers).

Interestingly, one of the official terms for “military obligation” is воинская повинность (the other one is воинская обязанность). The two words повинность (duty) and провинность (fault, delinquency) are cognates, but shouldn’t be confused.

Back to the holiday… On this day, if you find yourself в русскоговорящем кругу (in a company of Russian speakers), you are likely to hear tales, often tall tales, about their military service days. Or, borrowing a line from the classic, бойцы вспоминают минувшие дни… (soldiers recall the days long gone).

If you are a male, your Russian собеседник (conversation partner) might assume you too served in the military forces of your country. So don’t be surprised if you are asked about your rank or branch of service. Fathers-in-law are particularly prone to this line of questioning.

In case you have served or are serving in the military, here’s some basic info you need to know:

Сухопутные войска (lit. ground forces) would be approximately equivalent to the Army

Военно-воздушные силы or ВВС would be same as the Air Force.

Военно-морской флот or ВМФ is, of course, the Navy

Воздушно-десантные войска or ВДВ are not the Marines, but rather Airborne soldiers. These guys are so tough, they have a holiday of their own on August 2. So, if you are a red beret in the US Army, you get much respect from your father-in-law for sure.

Now, Вооружённые силы Российской Федерации (Armed Forces of the Russian Federation) have something called космические войска which immediately brings to mind the Starship Troopers movie (or am I the only one?). These are Aerospace Defense Forces. The final one is Strategic Missile Troops or ракетные войска стратегического назначения. I think these last two are covered under the Air Force in the US.

So you can say Я служу/служил в ________________ (I serve/served in the ____________) using your branch of service instead of the blank. Don’t forget that you will have to use the prepositional case here.

Я служил в сухопутных войсках 6 лет. (I served in the Army for 6 years).

Я служу в военно-воздушных силах уже 15 лет. Ещё пять и смогу выйти на пенсию. (I’ve served in the Air Force for 15 years. Five more and I can retire).

Я сам не служил, но мой отец был морским пехотинцем (I didn’t serve myself, but my father was a Marine).

Now that we are clear with род войск (branch of the military), it’s time to figure out воинские звания (military ranks).

Oh, two more absolutely must-know ranks are прапорщик (Warrant Officer) and старший прапорщик (Chief Warrant Officer). Which really puts you in a pickle if you are a warrant officer. You see, in Russia, прапорщик or прапор is usually portrayed as a dim-witted, arrogant, rude and frequently dishonest character. If a joke is not about a colonel or general, then it’s for sure about a warrant:

Не спорь с прапором о том, что земля круглая, а то он заставит тебя её разравнять. (Don’t argue with a warrant that the Earth is round or he will order you to flatten it)

Прапорщик встречает осла. Осёл спрашивает: «Ты кто такой?» Прапорщик отвечает: «Я – офицер, а ты кто такой?». Осёл отвечает: «Ну, тогда я – лошадь».

(A warrant meets a donkey. The donkey asks: who are you? I am an officer, – the warrant says, – and how are you? Well, then I am a horse, the donkey replies.)

No wonder that Russians are mostly phasing out these two ranks and replacing them with sergeants. Which kind of sucks if you are a warrant officer ‘cause in the US a warrant officer is an officer and not an enlisted.

By the way, just as in the US military, in Russian enlisted soldiers must salute their officers. To salute is отдать честь (lit: to render honor) while the word салют means fireworks or gun salvo.

And finally, if you were a commander of a unit, it’s important to know words for воинское формирование (military unit) you commanded:

Now combine all the elements:

Я служил старшим сержантом сухопутных войск, но вышел на пенсию пару лет назад (I as a Sergeant First Class in the Army, but retired a couple of years ago)

Муж моей дочери – полковник ВВС (My daughter’s husband is an Air Force Colonel).

Мой брат – командир отделения (My brother is a squad leader).

Hopefully, now you can join in the story-swapping. But only if you are a man. Women serving in the military will still have to wait until the International Women’s Day, March 8^th.

Don’t take this song (or this post for that matter) very seriously. Not all husbands experience intense dislike of their mothers-in-law and not all mothers-in-law can’t stand their sons-in-law. 

This week Russians celebrate the festival of Масленица (Maslenitsa). We wrote a bit about it on this blog before in this post, this one and this one. If you joined us just recently or would like a quick refresher, here are some basic facts.

• It is sort of like Mardi Gras, except it lasts семь дней (seven days) instead of just one.
• It is spent eating lots and lots of блины (pancakes) with all sorts of fattening dairy products, such as творог (cottage cheese), сметана (sour cream) and, of course, масло (butter).
• Since most of the time the festival happens when it’s still cold and snowy, bikinis and throwing beads a la New Orleans are out, but снежки (snowball fights) and sleigh rides are in.
• Every day has its own name and related customs.

Speaking of customs, this is the time for strengthening family ties and building goodwill, particularly between sons-in-law and their mothers-in-law. In fact, not one, but two days of Maslenitsa are devoted to this.

During Maslenitsa week, Wednesday is the day when зять (son-in-law) is invited to тёщин дом (mother-in-law’s home) for some blini – к тёще на блины. Then on Friday it’s the son-in-law’s time to host and the mother-in-law stops by с ответным визитом (with a reciprocal visit).

So this Maslenitsa week, let’s talk about зятья (sons-in-law) and тёщи (mothers-in-law). First, some Family Structure 101. In English, things are simple. Assuming traditional family structure, once a couple gets married, they each acquire a couple of in-laws – a mother-in-law and a father-in-law.

In Russia things are a bit more complicated. Жена (a wife) becomes невестка (daughter-in-law) to her свёкр (husband’s father) and свекровь (husband’s mother). Муж (a husband), on the other hand, becomes зять (son-in-law) of тесть (wife’s father) and тёща (wife’s mother).

Yet it is тёща that towers above all of them presenting a truly archetypal figure. The number of анекдоты (jokes) about тёща is probably larger than those about Вовочка (little Johnny) and all the characters from 17 мгновений весны (17 Moments of Spring) combined. And, as they say in Russia, в каждой шутке есть доля правды (every joke has a grain of truth in it).

Here are some of the most едкие (caustic) jokes:

Дети – цветы жизни; тёща – кактус смерти.

(Children are the flowers of life; Wife’s mother is a cactus of death)

Тёщa копошится у мaшины перед домом. Зять из окнa:

– Мaм, кудa это вы собрaлись?
- Нa клaдбище, сынок.
- А кто мaшину потом домой пригонит?

(Wife’s mother is unlocking the car. Son-in-law asks: “Mom, where are you going? She: “To the cemetery, son” He: “Ok, but who’s going to bring the car back?”)

Тёща сидит на диване. Над её головой висят старинные массивные часы. Когда тёща встаёт, часы падают. - Вечно они опаздывают! – раздосадовано говорит зять. 

(Wife’s mother is sitting on a couch. Above her hangs the clock. As she gets up and leaves, the clock falls down.  The husband, angrily, exclaims: “This clock is always late!”)

Not to say that all mothers-in-law and their sons-in-law are sworn enemies. Still, as this article points out, дружеские отношения (friendly relationship) between the two are залог успеха (key to success) in marriage. It further suggests some goodwill gestures to win расположение тёщи (wife’s mother’s good graces). Turns out that, since тёща – тоже женщина (wife’s mother is a woman too), flowers and gifts for birthdays and March 8^th as well as some timely compliments should do the trick. Another suggestion is спрашивайте мнение тёщи в некоторых не принципиальных для вас вопросах (ask wife’s mother for her opinion in non-essential matters).

So if you are going to visit your mother-in-law this Maslenitsa week, bring her a bouquet of flowers, inquire about her health, and cap it all off by suggesting loudly that your wife should ask her mother for the secret to these delicious блины.

Happy Maslenitsa week!

What are your plans for tomorrow, Saturday the 14^th of January? Better cancel them and instead celebrate старый Новый год (the old New Year).

Today, January the 13^th is yet another the New Year’s Eve. Yes, it’s another chance to finish last year’s unfinished business, to set goals and make promises, and to start afresh. Yes, lucky Russians get to celebrate the New Year not once, but twice.

Russia was 300-odd years late switching to Gregorian calendar. Страна перешла на новый стиль лишь в 1918 году (the country moved to the new style calendar only in 1918). Before then it was using two calendars. For all matters external, such as diplomatic relations and international trade, григорианский календарь (Gregorian calendar) had to be used since that’s what the rest of Europe was using. Internally, however, юлианский календарь (Julian calendar) was used.

It sure was odd and inconvenient, but not without some excitement, I imagine. Crossing the Russian border was a real time-travel experience. The 9-hour time difference between New York and Moscow nowadays is nothing compared to a 14-day difference less than a hundred years ago.

Interestingly, the Russian Orthodox Church still uses Julian calendar. Which is why Russian Christmas is celebrated on January 7^th aka December 25^th по старому стилю (according to the old style calendar).

The old New Year is celebrated, but in a muted way. It is not an official holiday and, unless it falls on выходной (weekend), it remains рабочий день (a work day). It is not a holiday for raucous parties, fireworks or Presidential addresses to the masses. Instead, it is celebrated with the family and close friends.

For TV stations this is another chance to air старые добрые фильмы (good old movies), such as Карнавальная ночь (Carnival Night, with English subtitles), Чародеи (Wizards, no English subtitles), Ирония судьбы (Irony of Fate) and Старый Новый год (Old New Year, no English subtitles).

In fact, if you are comfortable watching Irony of Fate without English subtitles and you like this movie, you will really like the Old New Year one. Filmed in 1980, it has wonderful actors playing out a story that, as strange as it might sound, is immediately recognizable to Russian viewers (much like the Irony of Fate):

Two families that, it seems, can’t be more different from each other, have something unexpected in common. Their meeting and bonding is both accidental and inevitable as they celebrate the old New Year each in their own way.

The movie has too many крылатые фразы (catch phrases) to list them all, but some of the more memorable ones include:

Веди себя прилично. Ты не в школе. (Behave properly. You are not at school)

Проблема – ТВ и дети. Да, проблема – телевизоров всё больше, а детей всё меньше. (A problem of children and TV. Yes, it’s a problem – there are ever more TVs and ever fewer children.)

Одного «хорошо» на всех не хватит. (A single “ok” is not enough for everyone)

Он завсегда с народом (he is always with the people).

Хватит агитировать. Мы линию тоже чувствуем, по обстоятельствам. (Enough campaigning. We too understand the directive, according to circumstances.)

Если ребёнок плохо учится, то пусть хоть одевается хорошо. (If a child’s grades are bad, then let him at least dress well).

The most memorable philosophical ramblings of progressively drunker neighbor: Мне особо ничего не надо, окромя что есть. А у меня всё есть, что надо. (I don’t need anything other than what I have. And I have everything that I need.)

If you prefer a lighter entertainment, then I recommend watching one of the old новогодний голубой огонёк (New Year “blue light”), a traditional New Year pop-star studded program. The “blue light” refers to the flicker of blue TV screens. Watch it if you want to see all the biggest stars of Russian pop singing oldies, but goodies (sometimes with updated lyrics).

So watch up over some more Olivier salad and clink glasses full of Champaign over a yet another toast to the new beginnings. Счастливого старого Нового Года! (Happy Old New Year!)