Thai Language Blog

Years ago I was eating at this expensive Indian restaurant in Thailand, and the waitor asked me what I wanted to drink. He looked completely Thai, so I said in Thai, ‘water’. He looked very confused and asked me to repeat, so I did. He then walked away and came back with his Indian looking manager, who asked me what I wanted to drink. I answered in English, ‘water’.

I was convinced that maybe my accent was really bad, or that I somehow forgot to say ‘water’. My American friends that were with me started doubting I could speak Thai. I mean, anyone who has studied Thai for more than a week can say ‘water’ in Thai, no? It took me a year to figure out this confusion . . .

One day I was at a typical street restaurant and the waitress came to take our orders. She seemed to be slow and confused, and we had to repeat ourselves several times. I just assumed my Thai pronunciation was hard to understand! But then my Thai friend leaned over to me and said, ‘she isn’t Thai, I think she is Burmese’. And then the world made sense to me once again.

It never actually occured to me that all these restaurants, like in the US, are filled with illegal immigrants pretending not to be. Burmese and Cambodians can easily pass as Thai by their looks, and there are quite a few of them. Many could even speak at least rudimentary Thai since they were children. They are very often employed at restaurants that serve primarily farang (foreigners), because hey, how would we know when they all look and sound the same? (to the unsuspecting tourist, I mean)

There is this restaurant not far from my apartment that I like to go to often, and it serves mainly Thais. There is this one waiter who doesn’t speak much, usually has a confused look on his face, and often gets my order partially wrong. They usually have him move heavy stuff and wash dishes most of the time. I figured he just wasn’t very bright. Then one day I went to eat there with a Thai friend, and this same waiter mentioned the price of the dish. My friend leaned over to me and said ‘he has a strange accent, I think he is from a hill tribe’. Well, that explains it!

There have been many other times where I go to restaurants and the waiter doesn’t quite look Thai although somewhat, and I get confused which language I should speak. In these cases it’s best to first ask in English if they speak Thai, and half the time they will tell you ‘no’.

There was one day I was at immigration getting my visa extended, and I heard this guy on the phone behind me speaking Thai with a strange accent. Turning around, the guy looked Chinese. I assume he was a Chinese guy that’s been living in Thailand for a long time, only there to update his visa. There were mistakes in his Thai grammar/pronounciation, but he was pretty good at it nontheless. I can easily imagine a non-Thai speaker confusing him for a Thai man.

It all really makes me wonder – how many times over the years have I falsly assumed someone was Thai when they weren’t? ‘Farang’ doesn’t mean ‘white’!

It’s been said that there are only three seasons in Thailand: hot season, hotter season, and hottest season. I kid . . . Thailand has three seasons: the hot season, the cold season, and the rainy season. Now, you may debate if 75F is ‘cold’ or not, but that’s how it is in most of Thailand. Of course, each region of Thailand has different extremes for each season, so this article is over-generalizing a bit.

The Cold Season

Ruu4duu1naow5              ฤดูหนาว

The cold season is generally from November to February. In Bangkok this means it might get as cold as 60F at the coldest point of the night, but more likely 65F. In the day it might average around, say, 75F. Sometimes maybe as low as 70F and higher up to 85F. In Bangkok you will only notice about 1 to 3 weeks of unusually cool weather, and then it’s back to the normal heat you’re used to. It only gets hotter the further south you go.

In the north of Thailand, say Chiang Mai and Chiang Rai, it might get cold enough that you’ll see frost. On a really windy cold night it might even get as low as 40F (or at least it will feel that cold). Although many of us foreigners vacation in Thailand to flee the winter in our home country, Thais like to travel to northern Thailand to experience what cold weather is like. Even frost on the grass is a white wonder winterland for them. I’ve never heard of snow or even hail in Thailand, but perhaps it happens on very rare occasions? The southern-most regions of Thailand generally don’t have a cold season.

It does on occasion rain during cold season, like 2-3 times per month.

The Hot Season

Ruu4duu1raawn4            ฤดูร้อน

The hot (or dry) season is from February to May. The season is as it says. Lots of hot sunny days with not much rain. But personally, the highs of 85F during the ‘cold’ season doesn’t feel that much different than the highs of 90F during the hot season. In the north east there will be little rain, and often times serious drought. In the southern provinces it’ll still rain often during this season. If you’re from Bangkok and you’re vacationing on a beach in Koh Samui during the hot season, you might swear it was rainy season.

The Rainy Season

Ruu4duu1fon5dtok2      ฤดูฝนตก

The rainy season, or monsoon season if you prefer, is from May to October. The word for ‘rain’ in Thai is fon5 dtok2 ฝนตก. Bangkok, being located right smack in the flood delta of the largest river in Thailand, is threatened by flooding every year. It was even once referred to as the ‘Venice of the East’, before it figured out how to defend itself using dams and drainage canals.

The rainy season isn’t non-stop rain, however. Usually it’ll only rain about once a day for a few hours, and that’s it. And this will happen generally every day for the entire season. If you live outside of inner Bangkok you’ll likely experience flash floods of about a foot or so in the roads, but it’ll quickly drain away.

Languages naturally develop shortcuts to speech. Any word thats spoken really often, involves too many syllables, and/or perhaps is difficult to say will likely be shortened in every day speech. And of course, slang used long enough becomes part of normal discourse.

In this case, language shortcuts in reference to nationalities. For example, in English, we often refer to the British as ‘Brits’ or the Vietnamese as ‘Viets’. There are much less polite (and possibly racist) terms to refer to Chinese (chinks), Ethiopians (skinnies), Vietnamese (Charlie), Japanese (Japs), etc.

Yes, Thai has rude racist terms to refer to other nationalities, too. But I’m not going to teach you that . . . at least not today.

Americans

So let’s start with Americans. More specifically, the United States’icans. Or whatever. Anyway, Thais refer to the North American continent as ‘America’ aa2meh1ri4gaa1 อาเมริกา. But that’s just too complicated with way too many syllables and tones, so they are much more likely to just say meh1ga1 เมกะ. In other words, Americans are called kon1 meh1gaa1 คนเมกา. I guess that makes me a Megaman!

Indonesians

Another exception is with Indonesians. While it’s perfectly ok to say kon1 in1do1nee1siia1 คนอิโดนีเซีย, that’s too many letters and syllables. Often times it’s abbreviated as คนอินโดฯ, and so this results in people simply saying kon1 in1do1 คนอินโด.

Vietnamese

Now, things get a bit more complicated with the Vietnamese as they have three different ways to be referred to. One is racist and rarely used so I won’t teach that. The second, and easiest, way is kon1 weit3naam1 คนเวียดนาม. Although perfectly correct, it’s mostly reserved for only written Thai. The most used for spoken Thai is kon1 yuan1 คนญวน.

Africans

Africa is that type of continent where most people think of it as just one big country. It’s that hot dry blob of mass far over there with nothing but starving people and civil wars. The average person – of any western or Asian country – likely couldn’t name more than two or three countries within Africa. And likely couldn’t find any on a map. Thai’s are no exception. Now, it’s not to say the average person isn’t intelligent, it’s just Africa doesn’t play much of a part in the international world, ie out of site out of mind. So what do you do if you’re from Africa and a Thai asks you your nationality? For a short answer, suck up your national pride and just answer kon1 aae2fri4gaa1 คนแอฟริกา. If you have plenty of conversation time, feel free to be more specific and tell them about your country.

Or maybe say something complicated like, ‘I’m from Ghana, a country located in western Africa’. But that’s beyond beginner level, so I won’t teach that here today.

South Americans

If you’re from South America, to the Thais your continent is just one more big blob of mass that doesn’t do anything. Just take my advice for Africa above and say you’re from aa2meh1ri4gaa1 dtai3 อาเมริกาใต้.

Arabs

With the exception of Egypt and Saudi Arabia, the Arab world is also fairly unknown to Thais. The [polite] way to say you’re from the Arabic region is kon1 aa1rab2 คนอาหรับ.

Others

There are two more regions of the world that Thais generally aren’t even aware that exist. One is the entirety of Central America (with the exception of Mexico), and the other is the eastern European block.

One last note: I am of course stereotyping with my above statements. Any well educated person, Thai or any other nationality, will of course be much more geographically aware of the world. Those involved with the tourist industry will also know much more than the average Thai as well. Use your best judgment.