{"id":2951,"date":"2014-09-05T12:28:05","date_gmt":"2014-09-05T12:28:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.transparent.com\/dutch\/?p=2951"},"modified":"2014-09-05T12:28:05","modified_gmt":"2014-09-05T12:28:05","slug":"how-to-politely-or-not-tell-someone-to-back-off","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.transparent.com\/dutch\/how-to-politely-or-not-tell-someone-to-back-off\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Politely (or Not) Tell Someone to Back Off"},"content":{"rendered":"

When you learn a new language, you don\u2019t only learn about the language. The language itself is a door into a new cultuur<\/em>, which comes with its own set of gewoonten<\/em>, tradities<\/em>, ideolog\u00efen<\/em> and karaktertrekken<\/em>. When you learn a new language and interact with the people who speak that language, you open a door to a new world, a world that doesn\u2019t always mix well with your set of ideas or beliefs.<\/p>\n

I am all for experiencing new things, having interesting and sometimes schandalig<\/em> or scandalous conversations, however, we all have our limits. I will try anything and speak about anything so long as this \u201canything\u201d doesn\u2019t come near my box of precious or sacred ideas. Because of this, I find today\u2019s post especially helpful to me (and hopefully to you!) when interacting with Dutch-speakers.<\/p>\n

Every cultuur<\/em> tends to have a set of questions that are taboe<\/em> or not open for discussion. In some cultures money might be a forbidden topic, in others sexuality, and still in others age or marital status is taboe.<\/em><\/p>\n

So what do you say when you encounter these conversations that you wish never to speak about? How do you phrase questions of difficult topics in a way that you don\u2019t offend anyone?<\/p>\n

To ask someone something that might be een gevoelige vraag<\/em> or a sensitive question, you can add the following phrases to your question:<\/p>\n

Mag ik je vragen: hoe lang je al bent getrowd?<\/em><\/p>\n

Sorry dat ik het vraag maar ben je zwanger?<\/em><\/p>\n

Adding the mag ik je vragen<\/em> or the sorry that ik het vraag<\/em> gives your question a tone of sensitivity or caution.<\/p>\n

If you, on the other hand, are asked a question that you don\u2019t feel comfortable answering or talking about, the following are polite ways of saying \u201cback off\u201d:<\/p>\n

Nou, dat vind ik nogal persoonlijk.<\/em><\/p>\n

Dat zeg ik liever niet.<\/em><\/p>\n

Dat houd ik voor mezelf.<\/em><\/p>\n

If someone persists or you are downright offended, these phrases might be best:<\/p>\n

Hier geef ik geen antwoord op.<\/em><\/p>\n

Dat zijn jouw zaken niet.<\/em><\/p>\n

Dat gaat je niets aan.<\/em><\/p>\n

I will clarify that this always depends on what you don\u2019t say. Your tone of voice, how you position your body and your facial expressions will add or take away intensity from your comment. Saying Nou, dat vind ik nogal persoonlijk<\/em> with a raised voice, an angry face and with defensive body language will definitely not sound friendly. Remember that body language usually says a lot more than our words.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Useful Vocabulary:<\/strong><\/p>\n

nieuwsgierig<\/em>– nosy<\/p>\n

de gewoonte-<\/em> de custom<\/p>\n

de cultuur-<\/em> the culture<\/p>\n

de traditie- <\/em>the tradition<\/p>\n

de karaktertrek-<\/em> the trait<\/p>\n

schandalig- <\/em>scandalous<\/p>\n

de taboe<\/em>– the taboo<\/p>\n

Useful Phrases:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mag ik je vragen?-<\/em> May I ask you a question?<\/p>\n

Sorry dat ik het vraag maar\u2026-<\/em> Sorry that I ask, but\u2026<\/p>\n

Nou, dat vind ik nogal persoonlijk.- <\/em>I find that rather personal.<\/p>\n

Dat zeg ik liever niet.- <\/em>I rather not say.<\/p>\n

Dat houd ik voor mezelf.- <\/em>I will keep that to myself.<\/p>\n

Hier geef ik geen antwoord op.-<\/em> I will give no answer.<\/p>\n

Dat zijn jouw zaken niet.- <\/em>That is not your affair\/ That is none of your business.<\/p>\n

Dat gaat je niets aan.- <\/em>That does not concern you.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When you learn a new language, you don\u2019t only learn about the language. The language itself is a door into a new cultuur, which comes with its own set of gewoonten, tradities, ideolog\u00efen and karaktertrekken. When you learn a new language and interact with the people who speak that language, you open a door to…<\/p>\n

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