{"id":6512,"date":"2018-04-05T13:18:27","date_gmt":"2018-04-05T17:18:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.transparent.com\/english\/?p=6512"},"modified":"2018-04-05T13:18:27","modified_gmt":"2018-04-05T17:18:27","slug":"making-polite-requests-in-english","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.transparent.com\/english\/making-polite-requests-in-english\/","title":{"rendered":"Making Polite Requests in English"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Photo courtesy of Pixaby, CCO<\/p><\/div>\n

Ask any parent, and they will tell you that there is one magic word in English: Please<\/em>. The more often you say it in your daily life, the better your life will be. You will be regarded as polite, well mannered, poised, and mature. If you have the chance to say it in a job interview, and you likely will, your odds of getting that job will increase. It really doesn\u2019t matter the circumstances, you will always advance your cause if people perceive you as a polite person.<\/p>\n

Making a polite request, and responding accordingly, should be one of the first things you learn in English. It is one of the first lessons parents teach their children once they are old enough to speak. As basic as this is, however, it is surprising how many people do it poorly. Phrasing a request is something of a practiced art. There are nuances to consider, and sometimes one misplaced word can change the meaning of your request. This may sound odd since, after all, in most languages politeness doesn\u2019t have layers and hidden meanings. But this is English, after all.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s begin at the table, where so many are introduced to polite requests. You are seated among family, friends, and acquaintances. The salt shaker is at the far end of the table. It is polite enough to say, \u201cPlease<\/strong> pass the salt.\u201d But, suppose the person nearest the salt is engaged in conversation with someone else. You should then say to another person, \u201cWould<\/strong> you mind please passing the salt?\u201d Or, \u201cMay<\/strong> I please have some salt?\u201d<\/p>\n

Notice that the last two sentences didn\u2019t begin with the word please<\/em>. To begin with please would imply some level of impatience or irritation, even desperation. \u201cPlease, would you mind passing the salt?\u201d No matter how sweetly you say it, the request isn\u2019t nearly so polite.<\/p>\n

Also, please note the use of the words would<\/em> and may<\/em>. Many would substitute the word can<\/em>, as in \u201cCan<\/strong> I please have some salt?\u201d Welcome to one of the great peculiarities of English. In standard English, can is a perfectly acceptable substitution for the word may. However, in formal situations, may is considered to be the proper and polite form of the request word. If there is any doubt about the propriety of a situation (and there often is), always use may over can.<\/p>\n

Would is likewise preferred over the word could<\/em> in making a request, since it expresses the concepts of probability and willingness. Could implies an ability to perform an action. Just because someone can<\/u> do something does not mean that they will<\/u>. \u201cCould<\/strong> you please pass the salt?\u201d When making a polite request, always use may or would.<\/p>\n

The next question to consider is the placement of the word please. As we have seen, placing please at the beginning of a sentence is more of an imperative, and implies a command even if worded as a question.<\/p>\n

\u201cPlease, would you sign this document?\u201d<\/p>\n

Placing please at the end of a sentence is still an imperative but conveys less of an immediacy on the request.<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you sign this document, please?\u201d<\/p>\n

Placing please in the middle of a sentence is more conversational and seems even less urgent.<\/p>\n

\u201cWould you please sign this document?\u201d<\/p>\n

Therefore, in most polite settings and conversations, please should come in the middle of a sentence, except in matters of most urgency.<\/p>\n

So, if you would, please consider this the next time you make a request. And thank you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"\"

Ask any parent, and they will tell you that there is one magic word in English: Please. The more often you say it in your daily life, the better your life will be. You will be regarded as polite, well mannered, poised, and mature. If you have the chance to say it in a job…<\/p>\n

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