{"id":3320,"date":"2011-01-27T07:43:27","date_gmt":"2011-01-27T07:43:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.transparent.com\/french\/?p=3320"},"modified":"2014-06-11T20:59:30","modified_gmt":"2014-06-11T18:59:30","slug":"mdrlol-blagues-jokes-francaises-part2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.transparent.com\/french\/mdrlol-blagues-jokes-francaises-part2\/","title":{"rendered":"MDR\/LOL! Blagues (jokes) fran\u00e7aises Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"

MDR = “Mort De Rire!” = LOL<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

* Quand j’\u00e9tais plus jeune<\/strong><\/em>, je d\u00e9testais aller aux <\/strong><\/em>mariages<\/strong> <\/em>(When I was younger, I used to hate going to weddings)\u00a0parce que mes vieilles tantes et mes grands parents venaient pr\u00e8s de moi<\/strong> <\/em>(because my old aunts and grandparents used to come towards me), me donnaient une grande claque amicale dans le dos<\/strong> <\/em>(gave me a big friendly tap in the back)\u00a0en lan\u00e7ant un joyeux “T’es l’prochain !”<\/strong> <\/em>(saying a happy “You’re next!”) Ils ont arr\u00eat\u00e9 cette stupide blague quand j’ai commenc\u00e9 <\/strong><\/em>\u00e0 la leur faire aux enterrements !<\/strong> <\/em>(They stopped this stupid joke when I started telling it to them too in their funerals!)<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

Un petit gar\u00e7on \u00e9crit au P\u00e8re No\u00ebl<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong><\/em>(A young boy wrote to Santa): “Cher P\u00e8re No\u00ebl, je suis orphelin et n\u2019ai jamais eu de cadeaux, pourrais-tu m\u2019envoyer 100 euros, s\u2019il te pla\u00eet ?<\/strong><\/em>” <\/strong>(“Dear Santa, I am an orphan, and I never got a present, could you send me 100 Euros please?”) Le facteur, \u00e9mu par la lettre<\/strong> <\/em>(The mailman, moved by the\u00a0letter) fait une collecte aupr\u00e8s de ses coll\u00e8gues du centre de tri<\/strong> <\/em>(raises a fund with his colleagues at the sorting center), mais ne parvient qu\u2019\u00e0 r\u00e9colter 50 euros, qu\u2019il envoie au gar\u00e7on<\/strong> <\/em>(but he’s able to gather 50 Euros only, which he sends to the\u00a0boy) Il re\u00e7oit une nouvelle lettre<\/strong> <\/em>(He receives a new letter): “Cher P\u00e8re No\u00ebl, je te remercie pour ton <\/strong><\/em>argent<\/strong> <\/em>(“Dear Santa, thank you for the money)… mais ces enfoir\u00e9s de postiers m\u2019en ont piqu\u00e9 la moiti\u00e9<\/strong>” <\/em>(“but those damn postal workers stole half of it”)!<\/span><\/p>\n

* * *<\/span><\/p>\n

Le commissaire de police questionne un jeune agent qui vient d’\u00eatre <\/em><\/span>recrut\u00e9 <\/strong><\/em>(A police captain quizzes a young police officer): “Avez-vous d\u00e9j\u00e0 vu un d\u00e9tecteur de mensonges ?<\/strong>” <\/em>(“Have you already seen a lie-detector?”)– “Mieux que \u00e7a, chef, j’ en ai \u00e9pous\u00e9 un !<\/strong><\/em>” <\/span>(“Even better than that, Chief, I married one!”)<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

C’est un chien qui recontre un crocodile <\/em>(A dog meets a crocodile.) Le crocodile dit au chien : “Salut, sac \u00e0 puces !” <\/em>(The crocodile says to the dog: “What’s up, fleabag!”) Et le chien lui r\u00e9pond : “Salut sac \u00e0 mains !<\/em>” <\/span>(And the dog answers him: “What’s up, handbag!”)<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

Un gendarme fait stopper un automobiliste<\/strong> <\/em>(A gendarme orders a car driver\u00a0to stop): “Vous n’aviez pas vu le feu rouge ?”<\/strong> <\/em>(“You didn’t see the red light?”) –“<\/strong><\/em>Si, si. C’est vous que je n’avais pas vu !”<\/strong> <\/em>(“I did, I did, I just didn’t see you!”)<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

C’est une femme qui rentre \u00e0 la maison et dit \u00e0 son mari <\/em>(A woman is back home and tells her husband): “Il faut renvoyer le chauffeur, \u00e7a fait deux fois qu’il a failli me tuer !” <\/em>(“We’ve got to fire the chauffeur, it’s been now two times that he almost killed me”) – “Laisse lui encore une chance”, r\u00e9pond le mari <\/em>(“Give him another chance”, answes the husband)…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

MDR = “Mort De Rire!” = LOL * Quand j’\u00e9tais plus jeune, je d\u00e9testais aller aux mariages (When I was younger, I used to hate going to weddings)\u00a0parce que mes vieilles tantes et mes grands parents venaient pr\u00e8s de moi (because my old aunts and grandparents used to come towards me), me donnaient une grande…<\/p>\n

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