{"id":4442,"date":"2012-02-13T06:00:28","date_gmt":"2012-02-13T10:00:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.transparent.com\/ingles\/?p=4442"},"modified":"2012-02-13T06:00:28","modified_gmt":"2012-02-13T10:00:28","slug":"humor-in-clean-english","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.transparent.com\/ingles\/2012\/02\/13\/humor-in-clean-english\/","title":{"rendered":"Humor in (clean) English!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hi, there!<\/em><\/p>\n

Vamos come\u00e7ar a semana esperando ansiosos o Carnaval e com um pouco de humor em ingl\u00eas.<\/p>\n

Anesthesia<\/strong><\/p>\n

A man was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his wife was sitting at his bedside.<\/em>
\nUm homem estava saindo da anestesia depois de uma s\u00e9rie de exames no hospital e sua esposa estava sentada ao seu lado.<\/p>\n

His eyes fluttered open, and he murmured, “You’re beautiful.”<\/em>
\nSeus olhos tremiam e ele murmurou, “Voc\u00ea \u00e9 bonita.”<\/p>\n

Flattered, the wife continued her vigil while he drifted back to sleep.<\/em>
\nLisonjeada, a esposa continuou sua vigilha enquanto ele voltou a dormir.<\/p>\n

Later, her husband woke up and said, “You’re cute.”<\/em>
\nMais tarde ele acordou e disse, “Voc\u00ea \u00e9 bonitinha.”<\/p>\n

Startled, she asked him, “What happened to beautiful?”<\/em>
\nAssustada, ela perguntou a ele, “O que aconteceu com o bonita?”<\/p>\n

“The drugs are wearing off,” he replied.<\/em>
\n“A anestesia est\u00e1 acabando,” ele respondeu.<\/p>\n

Whisper<\/strong><\/p>\n

A young couple was expecting a visit from the pastor of their church. They wanted everything to go smoothly, but their two- year-old son was just getting the hang of potty training. He was at the stage where he would announce at the top of his voice, “I gotta pee,” when he had to go to the bathroom.<\/em>
\nUm jovem casal estava esperando a visita de um pastor de sua igreja. Eles queriam que tudo desse certo mas seu filho de dois anos estava come\u00e7ando a aprender a urinar no vaso. Ele estava na fase onde ele anunciava em voz alta, “Tenho que fazer xixi,” quando tinha que ir ao banheiro.<\/p>\n

His father, worried that this might be embarrassing when the minister came to call, instructed the child, “Don’t shout that you’ve got to pee, whisper!”<\/em>
\nO pai, preocupado que isso pudesser envergonh\u00e1-lo quando o ministro viesse visitar, instruiu o filho, “N\u00e3o grite que voc\u00ea tem que fazer xixi, sussurre!”<\/p>\n

That evening the pastor makes his visit. He’s there a very long time and the two-year-old is on one foot and the other.<\/em>
\nNaquela noite o pastor faz sua visita. Ele fica l\u00e1 um bom tempo e o menino de dois anos fica num p\u00e9 e no outro.<\/p>\n

Finally, the minister asks him, “What’s the matter, son?”<\/em>
\nFinalmente, o ministro lhe pergunta, “Qual \u00e9 o problema, filho?”<\/p>\n

The child looks at his dad and says, “I’ve gotta whisper!”<\/em>
\nA crian\u00e7a olha para o seu pai e diz, “Tenho que sussurar!”<\/p>\n

Pastor says, “It’s all right, child. Whisper in my ear.”<\/em>
\nO pastor diz, “Tudo bem, crian\u00e7a. Sussurre no meu ouvido.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi, there! Vamos come\u00e7ar a semana esperando ansiosos o Carnaval e com um pouco de humor em ingl\u00eas. Anesthesia A man was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his wife was sitting at his bedside. Um homem estava saindo da anestesia depois de uma s\u00e9rie de exames…<\/p>\n

Continue Reading<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"content-type":""},"categories":[225062],"tags":[225876],"class_list":["post-4442","post","type-post","status-publish","hentry","category-intermediario","tag-artigos-cultura"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t