{"id":14246,"date":"2017-06-02T09:00:24","date_gmt":"2017-06-02T07:00:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.transparent.com\/italian\/?p=14246"},"modified":"2017-05-31T21:22:40","modified_gmt":"2017-05-31T19:22:40","slug":"una-risata-per-il-weekend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.transparent.com\/italian\/una-risata-per-il-weekend\/","title":{"rendered":"Una Risata Per Il Weekend"},"content":{"rendered":"

Let’s finish the week with a smile. Remember your schooldays … a laugh a minute, right?<\/span><\/p>\n

Il bambino di un mafioso torna a casa con la pagella e la fa vedere alla mamma.<\/strong>
\n La madre: “Italiano: 10, bravo! Geografia: 10, bravo! Storia: 10, bravo! Matematica: 10, bravissimo! Tutti 10, sei un figlio prodigio, bravissimo! Vai da tuo padre che sar\u00e0 contentissimo nel vedere la pagella”.<\/strong>
\n Il bambino va dal padre e gli mostra la pagella.<\/strong>
\n Il padre: “Italiano: 10; geografia: 10; storia: 10; matematica: 10. Tutti 10!”<\/strong>
\n Il padre prende la pistola e spara al bambino.<\/strong>
\n La madre: “Al figlio mio gli sparasti!!! Perch\u00e9 lo facisti??? “<\/strong>
\n Il padre: “Troppo sapeva! “<\/strong><\/p>\n

The son of a member of the Mafia comes home with his school report and shows it to his mother.
\nMother: “Italian: 10, well done! Geography: 10, well done! History: 10, well done! Maths: 10, very well done! All 10 out of 10, you are an amazing son, very well done! Go to you father, he’ll be really pleased when he sees you report”.
\nThe child goes to his father and shows him his school report.
\nFather: “Italian: 10; geography: 10; history: 10; maths: 10. All 10 out of 10!”
\nThe father takes out his pistol and shoots his son.
\nMother: “You shot my son!!! Why did you do that?”
\nFather: “He knew too much!”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

If you have 100 Euro in one trouser pocket and 50 in the other … what have you got? – Someone else’s trousers!<\/em><\/span><\/p><\/div>\n

Suona la sveglia, si sentono dei lamenti.<\/strong>
\n La madre apre la porta ed entra nella camera del figlio: “Forza, tesoro, alzati, \u00e8 ora di andare a scuola”.<\/strong>
\n Il figlio: “No, non ci voglio andare!”<\/strong>
\n La madre: “Su, amore, non fare storie e alzati, o farai tardi”.<\/strong>
\n Il figlio: “Gli insegnanti ce l’hanno con me, gli studenti mi prendono in giro. Perch\u00e9 devo andare a scuola?”<\/strong>
\n La madre: “Perch\u00e9 sei il preside, tesoro!”<\/strong><\/p>\n

The alarm goes off, some moaning is heard.
\nThe mother opens the door and enters her son’s bedroom: “Come on darling, get up, it’s time to go to school”
\nSon: “No, I don’t want to go to school!”
\nMother: “Come on love, don’t complain, get up or you’ll be late”.
\nSon: “The teachers pick on me, the students laugh at me. Why do I have to go to school?”
\nMother: “Because you’re the headteacher darling!”<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

So, how was your first day? Great!!! We learned numbers and letters, we drew and played … Fantastic!!! … and what are you doing tomorrow …? … Why??!? Do I have to go back??!!!<\/span><\/em><\/p><\/div>\n

And now for the rude one (you have been warned!) …<\/span><\/p>\n

Ad un esame di ostetricia il professore chiede alla studentessa: “Dimmi quante forme di parto conosci”<\/strong>
\n La studentessa incomincia a rispondere: “Parto normale, parto cesareo e parto… parto… “<\/strong>
\n Dai banchi dietro arriva un suggerimento: “ANALE”<\/strong>
\n E la studentessa subito senza pensare: “Anale”<\/strong>
\n Il professore non si scompone : “Benissimo, e dimmi come e quando si svolgono”.<\/strong>
\n La studentessa spiega la dinamica dei primi due. Nel tentare di spiegare il terzo si accorge di aver sbagliato e zittisce.<\/strong>
\n Il professore: “Va bene, dimmi almeno un caso, uno solo, che a te risulti si sia verificato”.<\/strong>
\n La studentessa: “S\u00ec, ora ricordo, una sola volta, vent’anni fa, quando nacque questo stronzo qua dietro!!”<\/strong><\/p>\n

In an obstetrics exam the professor asks a student: “Tell me how many types of birth you know”
\nThe student begins to respond: “Normal birth, caesarian birth, and … birth … birth …”
\nA suggestion comes from the benches behind: “ANAL”
\nWithout thinking, the student immediately says: “Anal”
\nThe professor doesn’t get ruffled: “Very good, and tell me how and when they take place”.
\nThe student explains the dynamics of the first two. When she tries to explain the third she realises that she’s made a mistake and shuts up.
\nProfessor: “OK, tell me of at least one case, just one, when you believe that it’s taken place”.
\nStudent: “Yes, now I remember, just once, twenty years ago, when that turd behind me was born!!”<\/p>\n

Vi auguriamo un buon fine settimana!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"\"

Let’s finish the week with a smile. Remember your schooldays … a laugh a minute, right? Il bambino di un mafioso torna a casa con la pagella e la fa vedere alla mamma. La madre: “Italiano: 10, bravo! Geografia: 10, bravo! Storia: 10, bravo! Matematica: 10, bravissimo! Tutti 10, sei un figlio prodigio, bravissimo! Vai…<\/p>\n

Continue Reading<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":90,"featured_media":14254,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"content-type":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[351047],"class_list":["post-14246","post","type-post","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-italian-school-jokes"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t