{"id":17574,"date":"2018-12-28T13:05:46","date_gmt":"2018-12-28T12:05:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.transparent.com\/italian\/?p=17574"},"modified":"2018-12-28T13:06:56","modified_gmt":"2018-12-28T12:06:56","slug":"barzellette-festive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.transparent.com\/italian\/barzellette-festive\/","title":{"rendered":"Barzellette Festive"},"content":{"rendered":"

Humour, that wonderful antidote to life’s trials and tribulations. It can certainly come in handy during the midwinter festivities …
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

Due contadini vanno in un bosco per cercare un albero di Natale.<\/strong>
\nDopo due ore di intense ricerche uno dice all’altro:<\/strong>
\n“Ora basta, il prossimo albero che vediamo lo prendiamo, che abbia le palle o no!”<\/strong><\/p>\n

Two peasants go into the woods to look for a Christmas tree.
\nAfter two hours of intense searching one says to the other:
\n“That’s enough, we’ll take the next tree we see, whether it has baubles or not!”<\/p>\n

Attenzione: Natale a rischio!<\/strong>
\nGiuseppe non solo non ha i soldi per pagare l’ostetrica, ma nemmeno per le spese del ricovero ospedaliero. La stalla \u00e8 considerata abusiva e la mangiatoia non \u00e8 adeguata alle norme igieniche. La Madonna non \u00e8 riuscita ad avere l’indennit\u00e0 di maternit\u00e0, gli angeli non possono volare causa sciopero del personale di terra e i tre Re Magi sono stati espulsi come clandestini (non prima di avergli sequestrato i doni).<\/strong>
\nLa Direzione chiede scusa per il disagio.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Attention: Christmas at risk!
\nJoseph doesn’t have the money to pay the midwife, let alone the hospital expenses. The stable is considered unauthorised, and the manger doesn’t meet hygiene regulations. The Madonna can’t get maternity leave, the angels can’t fly because the ground staff are on strike, and the Three Wise Men have been deported as illegals (but not before having their presents confiscated).
\nThe management apologises for any inconvenience.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Do cats have a sense of humour?<\/em><\/span><\/p><\/div>\n

Un bambino pi\u00f9 grande dice al pi\u00f9 piccolo:<\/strong>
\n“Babbo Natale lavora davvero sodo per preparare tutti quei regali e se tu non fai il bravo non ne vedrai neanche uno!”<\/strong>
\n“Ma…” risponde il pi\u00f9 piccolo, “Mica lavora poi tanto sodo. E’ sempre l\u00ec impalato davanti al supermercato!”<\/strong><\/p>\n

A little boy says to his younger brother:
\n“Father Christmas really works hard to get all those presents ready, and if you’re not good you won’t even get one!”
\n“But…” replies the little one, “He doesn’t work that hard. He’s always standing around doing nothing in front of the supermarket!”<\/p>\n

A Babbo Natale tutto quello che poteva andare storto, andava storto. Le renne avevano avuto la dissenteria e avevano ridotto la stalla a un disastro, e aveva dovuto spalare cacca per tutta la notte. Aveva caricato la slitta da solo perch\u00e9 gli gnomi erano in sciopero, e gli elfi si erano ubriacati, e aveva dovuto cercarsi i doni giusti in magazzino da solo. Nel mettersi i pantaloni li aveva strappati perch\u00e9 era ingrassato troppo, non c’era verso di trovare il cappello, aveva perso gli occhiali.<\/strong>
\nIn quel momento bussa alla porta un Angelo con un albero di Natale e domanda:<\/strong>
\n“Dove devo metterlo questo abete?”…<\/strong>
\n… ecco come \u00e8 nata l’usanza di conficcare l’Angelo sulla cima dell’albero di Natale.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Everything that could go wrong for Father Christmas went wrong. The reindeer had had dysentery and had reduces the stable to a disaster zone, so he’d had to shovel excrement all night long. He’d loaded the sleigh on his own because the gnomes were on strike, and he’d had to look for the right presents in the warehouse all by himself because the elves had got drunk. He’d torn his trousers whilst putting them on because he’d got too fat, his hat was nowhere top be found, and he’d lost his glasses.
\nAt that moment, an Angel with a Christmas tree knocked at the door, and asks:
\n“Where should I put this tree?”…
\n… and that’s how the custom of sticking the Angel on top of the Christmas tree came about.<\/p>\n

Auguri di Buon Anno, ci vediamo nel 2019!<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"\"

Humour, that wonderful antidote to life’s trials and tribulations. It can certainly come in handy during the midwinter festivities … Due contadini vanno in un bosco per cercare un albero di Natale. Dopo due ore di intense ricerche uno dice all’altro: “Ora basta, il prossimo albero che vediamo lo prendiamo, che abbia le palle o…<\/p>\n

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