{"id":2980,"date":"2013-02-19T10:15:25","date_gmt":"2013-02-19T10:15:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.transparent.com\/italian\/?p=2980"},"modified":"2013-02-19T11:36:50","modified_gmt":"2013-02-19T11:36:50","slug":"il-cognome-del-marito-no-grazie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.transparent.com\/italian\/il-cognome-del-marito-no-grazie\/","title":{"rendered":"Il cognome del marito? No, grazie"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cIl tour mondiale della signora Carter. Ma chi diavolo \u00e8, vi starete chiedendo se, come me, vi siete persi alcuni dettagli della vita privata di una delle popstar pi\u00f9 famose a livello internazionale? Agli ignoranti (in materia) come me, baster\u00e0 un solo nome: Beyonc\u00e9 \u2026 Ma era proprio necessario farsi chiamare con il cognome del marito?\u201d<\/font><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cMrs Carter\u2019s World Tour Show. But who the devil is she? you\u2019re probably asking yourself if, like me, you missed out on some details of the private life of one the worldwide most famous pop stars? For the ignorant (on the subject) like me, just a name will suffice: Beyonc\u00e9 \u2026 But was it really necessary to use her husband\u2019s surname?\u201d<\/font><\/em><\/p>\n

This is the opening paragraph of an article I found a few days ago in the newspaper Corriere della Sera<\/strong>. I\u2019m not going to discuss Beyonc\u00e9\u2019s decision to use her husband\u2019s surname, I\u2019m just using this example as an opportunity to write about the Italian surname system. Since the early Seventies Italian women have kept their surname after marrying. This law also applied to women married at the time that it was passed, in fact I remember very well the day my mother received a letter from the Italian Embassy (we were leaving abroad at the time) to go and change her passport. After over ten years of marriage under the surname Cricorian (my father\u2019s Armenian family surname) it was quite a shock for her, and she had to relearn to sign documents using her maiden surname. However, the discomfort didn\u2019t last long.<\/p>\n

Growing up in the years after this law had been passed I knew that I would be Serena Cricorian for the rest of my life, and the idea of changing my surname if or when I got married would feel like loosing part of my identity. This sentiment is perfectly exemplified by some of those who left comments to the newspaper article. Here is a small selection:<\/p>\n

\u201cIl cognome indica la nostra identit\u00e0, le nostre origini. Sposarsi non vuol dire diventare propriet\u00e0 di un uomo che ti mette su il suo nome come fossi la sua matita personale LOL\u201d<\/font><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cOur surname shows our identity, our origins. To get married does not mean to become property of a man, who puts his name on you as if you were his personal pencil LOL\u201d<\/font><\/p>\n

\u201cSar\u00e0 perch\u00e9 \u00e8 proprio della nostra cultura mantenere il proprio cognome, ma a me sembra grottesco che una donna che si sposa, divorzia, si risposa\u2026 cambi cognome in continuazione. Ti crei una tua identit\u00e0 con il cognome \u201cda signorina\u201d, e per me \u00e8 bello continuare a mantenerla indipendentemente dal fatto che ti sposi. Mi capita spesso, magari seguendo lo sport, di trovare un\u2019atleta che conoscevo con un nome e che ora si chiama in un altro modo. Insomma, a me fa brutto, in particolare in una societ\u00e0 in cui (che lo vogliamo o no) il matrimonio \u00e8 un istituto ormai molto precario. Almeno un cognome dovrebbe essere per sempre.\u201d<\/font><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cIt may be because it\u2019s typical of our culture to keep one\u2019s surname, but to me it seems grotesque that a woman who gets married, then divorces, then remarries \u2026 would change her surname all the time. You build your own identity with your \u2018maiden surname\u2019, and to me it\u2019s beautiful to keep [this identity] independent of the fact that you get married. I often happen, perhaps when following sports, to find an athlete who I knew by one name and now she has another. To conclude, it upsets me, particularly in a society in which (whether we like it or not) marriage is now a very precarious institution. At least your surname should stay the same for ever.\u201d<\/font><\/p>\n

\u201cIo mi tengo il mio cognome, e uso quello di mio marito, come hanno gi\u00e0 scritto molte, solo ed esclusivamente quando parlo in nome dei miei figli, per non generare confusione, dato che ovviamente hanno il cognome di mio marito. Per\u00f2 questo mi d\u00e0 fastidio, perch\u00e9 per forza il cognome del padre, dopo che io li ho avuti in pancia 9 mesi e con gran dolore me li sono partorita io? A me spiace molto che il mio cognome, che tra l\u2019altro mi piace parecchio, vada perso. Quando ero piccola, essendo femmina col cognome di mio padre, ero convintissima che se avessi avuto un fratello questo avrebbe portato il cognome di mia madre. Il senso innato della giustizia che hanno i bambini\u2026\u201d<\/font><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI keep my surname, and use my husband\u2019s, as already stated by many readers, only and exclusively when I speak for my children, in order not to create confusion, since, obviously, they have my husband\u2019s surname. However, this annoys me, that the father\u2019s surname is obligatory, after I carried them in my belly for 9 months and gave birth to them with great pain. I\u2019m very sad that my surname, which I really like, will be lost. When I was a child, being a girl with my father\u2019s surname, I was firmly convinced that if I had a brother, he would take my mother\u2019s surname. A child\u2019s inbuilt sense of justice \u2026\u201d<\/font><\/p>\n

\u201cTrovo davvero triste che ancora oggi le donne debbano prendere il cognome del marito per dimostrare chiss\u00e0 quali cose\u2026Non ne vedo la necessit\u00e0. Sembrerebbe quantomeno strano che il marito facesse il contrario\u2026e questo la dice lunga.\u201d<\/font><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cI find it really sad that even today women should take their husband\u2019s surname to prove who knows what\u2026 I don\u2019t see the necessity for it. It would seem equally strange if the husband did the opposite (took his wife\u2019s surname) \u2026 and this says a lot.\u201d<\/font><\/p>\n

\u201c…e poi scusate, ma se gli uomini usassero il cognome delle mogli, che effetto vi farebbe?\u201d<\/font><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201c\u2026and excuse me, but if men used their wife\u2019s surname, how would you feel?\u201d<\/font><\/p>\n

Obviously, keeping our surname doesn\u2019t mean we have achieved equality with men, far from it:<\/p>\n

\u201cCome hanno gi\u00e0 scritto in tanti: nel resto del mondo c\u2019\u00e8 l\u2019abitudine di prendere il cognome del marito. Eppure, le donne sono molto pi\u00f9 emancipate rispetto a quelle italiane. In Italia pi\u00f9 di 50% delle donne non lavora e il fatto di aver mantenuto il cognome da nubile, in che cosa migliora il loro stato di emancipazione personale?\u201d<\/font><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cAs many have already written: in the rest of the world there is the habit of taking their husband\u2019s surname. However, women are much more emancipated compared to the Italians. In Italy more than 50% of women don\u2019t work, and how does the fact of keeping their maiden name improves their personal emancipation?\u201d<\/font><\/p>\n

Yes, being able to keep our maiden name doesn\u2019t really improve our social status, but it\u2019s part of my own identity, of who I am and have always been, and I would never give it up. In fact I\u2019ll never forget my sense of outrage when, shortly after Geoff and I got married, my aunt, who has lived in England since the late 40\u2019s, sent me a card addressed to Mrs Geoff Chamberlain!<\/em> Ma che cavolo!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cIl tour mondiale della signora Carter. Ma chi diavolo \u00e8, vi starete chiedendo se, come me, vi siete persi alcuni dettagli della vita privata di una delle popstar pi\u00f9 famose a livello internazionale? Agli ignoranti (in materia) come me, baster\u00e0 un solo nome: Beyonc\u00e9 \u2026 Ma era proprio necessario farsi chiamare con il cognome del…<\/p>\n

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