{"id":4327,"date":"2013-12-24T09:53:43","date_gmt":"2013-12-24T09:53:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.transparent.com\/italian\/?p=4327"},"modified":"2013-12-24T15:12:29","modified_gmt":"2013-12-24T15:12:29","slug":"barzellette-natalizie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.transparent.com\/italian\/barzellette-natalizie\/","title":{"rendered":"Barzellette Natalizie"},"content":{"rendered":"

For your entertainment \u2026 a few Italian Christmas barzellette<\/strong> (jokes).<\/p>\n

\"Renne\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Doctor my reindeers are sick \u2026<\/p>\n

How did you do it doctor? What did you give them?<\/p>\n

Voltarenne! In Italy we have an anti inflammatory medicine called Voltaren. This joke plays on the words voltare<\/strong> (to turn) and renne<\/strong> (reindeers).<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Per Natale, Giorgio regala a Maria un ferro da stiro. Maria, dopo averlo usato, lo appoggia vicino al telefono… Il giorno dopo Giorgio esce con tutte e due le orecchie piene di vesciche e incontra un amico. L’amico, perplesso, chiede: \u201cGiorgio, ma che ti \u00e8 successo alle orecchie?\u201d, Giorgio, sofferente, risponde : \u201cMia moglie ha lasciato il ferro da stiro, che le ho dato per Natale, acceso vicino al telefono; telefona un tizio per augurarci Buon Natale e io, per sbaglio, prendo il ferro da stiro e me lo metto accanto all’orecchio. Che male!\u201d L’amico: \u201cSi, ma l’altro orecchio?\u201d Giorgio risponde: \u201cEh, quello scemo ha ritelefonato!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Giorgio gave Maria an iron for Christmas. After having used it Maria left it near the phone \u2026 The next day Giorgio goes out with his ears covered in blisters, and bumps into a friend. Puzzled, the friend asks: \u201cGiorgio, what happened to your ears?\u201d, Giorgio, suffering, replies: \u201cMy wife left the hot iron which I gave her for Christmas next to the phone; someone phoned up to wish us happy Christmas and I accidentally picked up the iron and put it to my ear. It was really painful!\u201d The friend asks: \u201cYes, but your other ear?\u201d Giorgio replies: \u201cEh, that idiot phoned back again!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Siamo verso Natale, e il figlio di un pastore sardo vorrebbe ricevere un regalo. Prende carta e penna e si mette a scrivere la letterina per Babbo Natale. "Carro Babbo Nattale. Per il ggiorno della tua festa, vorrei riccevvere una biccicletta rrossa". Arriva la mattina di Natale, il bambino va a vedere sotto l’albero e non trova nulla. Un po’ perplesso, si rimette al tavolo a scrivere un’altra letterina: "Carra Beffana. Per il ggiorno della tua festa, vorrei riccevvere una biccicletta rrossa". Arriva anche il giorno dell’ Epifania, ma la bicicletta rossa non arriva. Allora guardandosi intorno, il bambino osserva il presepe, prende la statuina del Bambin Ges\u00f9, se la mette in tasca e si rimette al tavolo a scrivere un’altra letterina. "Carra Maddonna. Se vvuoi rivvedderre ttuo ffiglio…."
<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s getting towards Christmas, and the son of a Sardinian shepherd wants a present. He picks up paper and pen and sits down to write a letter to Father Christmas. \u201cDear Father Christmas. For Christmas day, I want a red bicycle\u201d. Christmas morning comes and the boy goes to look under the tree but finds nothing. A bit puzzled, he sits down at the table again to write another letter: \u201cDear Befana. For the day of La Befana<\/strong> (l\u2019Epifania<\/strong>) I want a red bicycle\u201d. Epiphany arrives, but no red bicycle. So looking around, the boy sees the nativity scene, he takes the little statue of baby Jesus, puts it in his pocket and sits down at the table again to write another letter. \u201cDear Madonna. If you want to see your son again \u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

(N.B. The Sardinians are stereotypically famous for carrying out kidnappings. The spelling mistakes in Italian, e.g. rrossa<\/strong> and ffiglio<\/strong>, are deliberate, as they are trying to reproduce the Sardinian accent. La letterina<\/strong> \u2013 literally the little letter – is the name given to the letter that children write to Babbo Natale<\/strong> telling him what they want for Christmas).<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This joke, for the sake of decorum, I\u2019m going to leave un-translated, but I\u2019ll just explain that le palle di Natale<\/strong> (the Christmas balls) are the shiny decorative balls that one hangs on the tree:<\/p>\n

La maestra vuol fare un gioco con i suoi allievi: "Allora, ditemi il nome di una cosa rotonda e pelosa". Luigino alza la mano e dice: "La pesca, signora maestra!". "Bravo Luigino!". Maria alza anch’essa la mano e dice: "Il kiwi". Poi si alza Pierino e dice: "Le palle di Natale!". La maestra lo guarda stupita e dice: "Ma Pierino! Le palle di Natale sono rotonde, ma non hanno dei peli!". E Pierino rivolgendosi al suo compagno di banco: "Dai, Natale, togliti i pantaloni e mostra le palle alla signora maestra!!!" <\/strong><\/p>\n

(N.B. Natale is a fairly common male name in Italy!)<\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

Auguri di un Buon Natale da Geoff e Serena<\/font><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"\"

For your entertainment \u2026 a few Italian Christmas barzellette (jokes). Doctor my reindeers are sick \u2026 How did you do it doctor? What did you give them? Voltarenne! In Italy we have an anti inflammatory medicine called Voltaren. This joke plays on the words voltare (to turn) and renne (reindeers).   Per Natale, Giorgio regala…<\/p>\n

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