![\"\"](\"https:\/\/blogs.transparent.com\/japanese\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2021\/06\/bag-1194459_1920-350x291.jpg\")
Image by Domas<\/a> from Pixabay<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n \u201cI got it on sale.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt was cheap.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIt is old.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI got it free.\u201d<\/p>\n Since the old days, the Japanese have considered bragging (\u81ea\u6162\u3059\u308b jimansuru) as bad taste (\u54c1\u306e\u306a\u3044 hin no nai).\u00a0 I have been a \u201cgood for nothing & lazy (\u6020\u3051\u8005namakemono) daughter\u201d outside of my family, according to my parents.\u00a0 It is called HERIKUDARU\u00a0 (verb) (\u8b19\u308b).\u00a0 A quick online search says it means \u201cto humble\u201d.\u00a0 More precisely, I would say that you lower yourself to show respect (\u5c0a\u656c sonkei) to a listener.\u00a0 For instance, take the word \u611a\u606f (gusoku). Your parent may introduce you to others \u201cthis is my\u611a\u606f.\u201d\u00a0 \u611a\u606fis commonly accepted as \u201cmy stupid son,\u201d however, some argue that it does mean \u201cI\u201d the parent is stupid, and this is this stupid\u2019s son.<\/p>\n A similar expression is \u201c\u8c5a\u5150\u201d \u2013 a pig child (tonji). \u00a0Fortunately, it is old, and I have never heard this expression being used.\u00a0 But it can be used for both genders, and unlike \u611a\u606f, who is a pig is a child clearly, not the speaker.\u00a0 According to Waraeru Nihongo Jiten<\/a>,\u00a0 it originated in China, but the expression was too bold to become popular in Japanese society that favored more subtle (\u5fae\u5999\u306a bimyona) expressions.<\/p>\n So let\u2019s apply this social rule to a compliment \u2013 you lower yourself to respect the other.<\/p>\n \u201cYour bag is very nice.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0\u201cIt was on sale.\u201d<\/p>\n I am implying \u201cthe bag is cheap because I am not worthy of (\u301c\u5024\u3059\u308b\u301cataisuru) having a nice bag.\u00a0 You need a listener for you to \u201cherikudaru,\u201d and the subject is always \u201cI\u201d.<\/p>\n Image by OpenClipart-Vectors<\/a> from Pixabay<\/a><\/p><\/div>\n When we give a gift, we ALWAYS used to say, \u201cPlease accept this trivial, useless thing.\u201d\u00a0 In Japanese, \u300c\u3064\u307e\u3089\u306a\u3044\u7269\u3067\u3059\u304c\u300d(tsumaranai mono desuga).\u00a0 The reference does not mean that the gift is a useless thing, rather it means the receiver is too good for anything or \u201cI am not qualified to choose a good item.\u201d\u00a0 Again, the speaker (giver) is lowering oneself to respect the receiver.\u00a0 However, it is common, among most Japanese, to interpret it simply as \u201cHere is a useless gift.\u201d So this custom of saying \u300c\u3064\u307e\u3089\u306a\u3044\u7269\u300dis dying as the Japanese culture is slowly but steadily changing – \u201cWhy do you give me what you think is useless?\u201d\u00a0 Of course, among good friends, we always could say \u201cHere is something for you \u2013 you will love it!\u201d or \u201cIt took a long time to find this for you!<\/p>\n Since my friend told me about her research, I started to pay more attention to Japanese, including my own speech, and also my non-Japanese friends\u2019 non-Japanese replies to compliments. And you know what? Some non-Japanese friends had the same humble responses regardless of their background.\u00a0 And in the business setting, I noticed our Japanese visitors (\u8a2a\u554f\u8005 houmonsha) did not refer to their gift as a \u201cuseless\u201d thing but more appropriately \u201cYou may have it already\u201d or \u201cIt is from our region.\u201d\u00a0 These are exactly what American experienced international business persons use.\u00a0 So the world may be shrinking culturally.<\/p>\n On a side note, parents do not say to their sons and daughters that they are \u201cstupid sons\u201d or \u201clazy daughters.\u201d\u00a0 These expressions are used only for those outside the family to show respect.\u00a0 But it is not really nice to hear, as a child, that your parents are introducing you to a stranger, \u201cthis is our stupid son.\u201d\u00a0 I have to believe this must be one of many reasons that the self-esteem (\u81ea\u5df1\u80af\u5b9a\u5ea6\u00a0 jiko kouteido) of Japanese children is the lowest in 6 cities in the world<\/a>.<\/p>\n If you hear a Japanese parent introducing his\/her child as \u201cstupid son,\u201d don\u2019t take it literally!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" One day, my Japanese friend who was my classmate at grad school told me \u201cYour bag is very nice.\u201d\u00a0 And I said, \u201cI got it on sale (\u30bb\u30fc\u30eb se-ru).\u201d What would you have responded to? Have you told a compliment (\u79f0\u8cdb shosan) to your Japanese friend, and have you heard a similar response from your…<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/blogs.transparent.com\/japanese\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/7\/2021\/06\/presents-153926-350x190.png\")