{"id":4493,"date":"2013-02-20T08:00:47","date_gmt":"2013-02-20T08:00:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.transparent.com\/russian\/?p=4493"},"modified":"2014-07-17T19:22:33","modified_gmt":"2014-07-17T19:22:33","slug":"q-whats-huge-gray-and-shines-like-a-light-bulb","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.transparent.com\/russian\/q-whats-huge-gray-and-shines-like-a-light-bulb\/","title":{"rendered":"Q: What’s huge, gray, and shines like a light-bulb?"},"content":{"rendered":"

A: An electric elephant.<\/p>\n

Or, in Russian:<\/p>\n

\u0427\u0442\u043e<\/span> \u044d<\/span>\u0442\u043e: \u041e\u0433\u0440\u043e<\/span>\u043c\u043d\u043e\u0435, \u0441\u0435<\/span>\u0440\u043e\u0435, \u0438 \u0441\u0432\u0435<\/span>\u0442\u0438\u0442 \u043a\u0430\u043a \u043b\u0430<\/span>\u043c\u043f\u043e\u0447\u043a\u0430?
\n— \u042d\u043b\u0435\u043a\u0442\u0440\u0438<\/span>\u0447\u0435\u0441\u043a\u0438\u0439 \u0441\u043b\u043e<\/span>\u043d.<\/b><\/p>\n

The Elephant Joke genre occurs in many different languages — generally, these jokes tend to “travel well” because their humor rarely depends on untranslatable puns, or on pop-culture references that quickly go stale.<\/p>\n

And one finds them in Russian, too, although it’s usually impossible to be sure which of these jokes originated in Russian and which were translated from a foreign language.<\/p>\n

Let’s take a look at a few more elephant jokes and their grammar. The “electric elephant” joke began with \u0427\u0442\u043e \u044d\u0442\u043e:<\/b>, but in jokes of the “What’s black and white and read all over?” type, one can also move the \u0447\u0442\u043e \u044d\u0442\u043e<\/b> to the end of the question, as in this one:<\/p>\n

\u041e\u0433\u0440\u043e<\/span>\u043c\u043d\u043e\u0435, \u0441\u0435<\/span>\u0440\u043e\u0435, \u043c\u0435<\/span>\u0434\u043b\u0435\u043d\u043d\u043e \u043a\u0440\u0443<\/span>\u0436\u0438\u0442\u0441\u044f, \u0438 \u0432\u0434\u0440\u0443<\/span>\u0433 \u0432\u0437\u0440\u044b\u0432\u0430<\/span>\u0435\u0442\u0441\u044f — \u0447\u0442\u043e<\/span> \u044d<\/span>\u0442\u043e?
\n— \u0421\u043b\u043e<\/span>\u043d \u0432 \u043c\u0438\u043a\u0440\u043e\u0432\u043e\u043b\u043d\u043e<\/span>\u0432\u043e\u0439 \u043f\u0435<\/span>\u0447\u043a\u0435.<\/b><\/p>\n

What’s huge, gray, spins around slowly, and suddenly explodes?
\n–An elephant in a microwave oven.<\/p>\n

(Check out this post<\/a> for more verbs that are more or less synonymous with \u043a\u0440\u0443\u0436\u0438\u0442\u044c\u0441\u044f<\/b>, “to spin\/turn\/rotate.”)<\/p>\n

And if you’re wondering how it’s possible to fit an elephant into a microwave, this joke explains the answer:<\/p>\n

1. \u041a\u0430\u043a \u0441\u043f\u0440\u044f<\/span>\u0442\u0430\u0442\u044c \u0441\u043b\u043e\u043d\u0430<\/span> \u0432 \u0445\u043e\u043b\u043e\u0434\u0438<\/span>\u043b\u044c\u043d\u0438\u043a<\/span>?
\n\u0430) \u041e\u0442\u043a\u0440\u044b<\/span>\u0442\u044c \u0445\u043e\u043b\u043e\u0434\u0438<\/span>\u043b\u044c\u043d\u0438\u043a.
\n\u0431) \u041f\u043e\u043c\u0435\u0441\u0442\u0438<\/span>\u0442\u044c \u0442\u0443\u0434\u0430 \u0441\u043b\u043e\u043d\u0430<\/span>.
\n\u0432) \u0417\u0430\u043a\u0440\u044b<\/span>\u0442\u044c \u0445\u043e\u043b\u043e\u0434\u0438<\/span>\u043b\u044c\u043d\u0438\u043a.<\/b><\/p>\n

How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
\nA) Open the refrigerator.
\nB) Put the elephant into it.
\n\u0421) Close the refrigerator.<\/p>\n

In some cases, as here, the verb \u043f\u0440\u044f\u0442\u0430\u0442\u044c\/\u0441\u043f\u0440\u044f\u0442\u0430\u0442\u044c (\u043a\u043e\u0433\u043e\/\u0447\u0442\u043e) (\u043a\u0443\u0434\u0430)<\/b> can be translated simply as “to put someone\/something into somewhere.” But to be more precise, this verb implies “to hide; to conceal”.<\/p>\n

On the other hand, the verb \u043f\u043e\u043c\u0435\u0449\u0430\u0442\u044c\/\u043f\u043e\u043c\u0435\u0441\u0442\u0438\u0442\u044c<\/b> means “to put somewhere” without specifying a particular purpose like concealment, and without specifying whether you’re putting something onto an open shelf or an enclosed box. (Thus, I would recommend \u043f\u043e\u043c\u0435\u0449\u0430\u0442\u044c\/\u043f\u043e\u043c\u0435\u0441\u0442\u0438\u0442\u044c as a multi-purpose verb worth memorizing.)<\/p>\n

And the above joke has a follow-up:<\/p>\n

2. \u041a\u0430\u043a \u0443\u043c\u0435\u0441\u0442\u0438<\/span>\u0442\u044c \u0436\u0438\u0440\u0430<\/span>\u0444\u0430 \u0432 \u0445\u043e\u043b\u043e\u0434\u0438<\/span>\u043b\u044c\u043d\u0438\u043a?
\n\u0430) \u041e\u0442\u043a\u0440\u044b<\/span>\u0442\u044c \u0445\u043e\u043b\u043e\u0434\u0438<\/span>\u043b\u044c\u043d\u0438\u043a.
\n\u0431) \u0412\u044b<\/span>\u043d\u0443\u0442\u044c \u043e\u0442\u0442\u0443<\/span>\u0434\u0430 \u0441\u043b\u043e\u043d\u0430<\/span>
\n\u0432) \u041f\u043e\u043b\u043e\u0436\u0438<\/span>\u0442\u044c \u0442\u0443\u0434\u0430<\/span> \u0436\u0438\u0440\u0430<\/span>\u0444\u0430
\n\u0433) \u0417\u0430\u043a\u0440\u044b<\/span>\u0442\u044c \u0445\u043e\u043b\u043e\u0434\u0438<\/span>\u043b\u044c\u043d\u0438\u043a.<\/b><\/p>\n

2. How do you fit a giraffe into an refrigerator?
\nA) Open the refrigerator.
\nB) Take out the elephant.
\nC) Put the giraffe in it.
\nD) Close the refrigerator.<\/p>\n

The verb \u0443\u043c\u0435\u0449\u0430<\/span>\u0442\u044c\/\u0443\u043c\u0435\u0441\u0442\u0438<\/span>\u0442\u044c<\/b> also means “to put somewhere”, but it emphasizes a tight fit into a limited space: \u042f<\/span> \u043d\u0438\u043a\u0430<\/span>\u043a \u043d\u0435 \u043c\u043e<\/span>\u0433 \u0443\u043c\u0435\u0441\u0442\u0438<\/span>\u0442\u044c \u0448\u0438\u043d\u0435<\/span>\u043b\u044c \u0432 \u0447\u0435\u043c\u043e\u0434\u0430<\/span>\u043d<\/b>, “I just couldn’t squeeze the long winter coat into the suitcase.” (The traditional Army \u0448\u0438\u043d\u0435<\/span>\u043b\u044c<\/b> is extremely heavy and bulky!) And \u043a\u043b\u0430\u0441\u0442\u044c\/\u043f\u043e\u043b\u043e\u0436\u0438<\/span>\u0442\u044c<\/b> is yet another translation for “to put,” but it’s one of those position verbs<\/a> and specifically emphasizes that you’re laying the giraffe down horizontally.<\/p>\n

Finally, \u0432\u044b\u043d\u0438\u043c\u0430<\/span>\u0442\u044c\/\u0432\u044b<\/span>\u043d\u0443\u0442\u044c<\/b> is an antonym meaning “to take out of; to remove from out of”. It should be distinguished from \u0441\u043d\u0438\u043c\u0430<\/span>\u0442\u044c\/\u0441\u043d\u044f<\/span>\u0442\u044c<\/b>, which also means “to remove” but in the sense “to take OFF,” not “to take OUT.”<\/p>\n

And the joke continues:<\/p>\n

3. \u041b\u0435<\/span>\u0432 \u043f\u043e\u0437\u0432\u0430<\/span>\u043b \u0432\u0441\u0435<\/span>\u0445 \u0437\u0432\u0435\u0440\u0435<\/span>\u0439 \u043d\u0430 \u0441\u043e\u0431\u0440\u0430<\/span>\u043d\u0438\u0435. \u041f\u0440\u0438\u0448\u043b\u0438<\/span> \u0432\u0441\u0435<\/span>, \u043a\u0440\u043e\u043c\u0435 \u043e\u0434\u043d\u043e\u0433\u043e<\/span>. \u041a\u0442\u043e<\/span> \u044d<\/span>\u0442\u043e?
\n\u0416\u0438\u0440\u0430<\/span>\u0444 — \u043e<\/span>\u043d \u0436\u0435 \u0432 \u0445\u043e\u043b\u043e\u0434\u0438<\/span>\u043b\u044c\u043d\u0438\u043a\u0435!<\/b><\/p>\n

The lion called all the wild animals to a meeting. They all came, except one. Who was that?
\nThe giraffe — he’s<\/i> in the refrigerator!<\/p>\n

\u0417\u0432\u0435\u0440\u044c<\/b> (diminutive \u0437\u0432\u0435\u0440\u0451\u043a<\/b>), in contrast to the generic \u0436\u0438\u0432\u043e\u0442\u043d\u043e\u0435<\/b>, implies “a wild\/non-domesticated animal.” And \u0441\u043e\u0431\u0440\u0430\u043d\u0438\u0435<\/b> is usually the best translation for “meeting” if you mean “a group conference” (as opposed to “a chance meeting on the street”). And the particle \u0436\u0435<\/b> is emphatic — in essence, it “italicizes” the word \u043e\u043d<\/b> before it.<\/p>\n

Finally:<\/p>\n

4. \u041a\u0430<\/span>\u043a \u0431\u044b \u0432\u044b<\/span> \u043f\u0435\u0440\u0435\u0448\u043b\u0438<\/span> \u0440\u0435<\/span>\u043a\u0443, \u0432 \u043a\u043e\u0442\u043e<\/span>\u0440\u043e\u0439 \u0432\u043e<\/span>\u0434\u044f\u0442\u0441\u044f \u043a\u0440\u043e\u043a\u043e\u0434\u0438<\/span>\u043b\u044b, \u0435<\/span>\u0441\u043b\u0438 \u043c\u043e\u0441\u0442\u0430<\/span> \u043d\u0435\u0442?
\n\u042f \u043f\u0435\u0440\u0435\u043f\u043b\u044b<\/span>\u043b \u0431\u044b, \u0432\u0435\u0434\u044c \u043a\u0440\u043e\u043a\u043e\u0434\u0438<\/span>\u043b\u044b \u0432\u0441\u0435<\/span> \u0443 \u043b\u044c\u0432\u0430<\/span> \u043d\u0430 \u0441\u043e\u0431\u0440\u0430<\/span>\u043d\u0438\u0438.<\/b><\/p>\n

How would you cross a river which is inhabited by crocodiles, if there’s no bridge?
\nI’d swim across, since all the crocodiles are at the meeting with the lion.<\/p>\n

Although the verb \u0432\u043e\u0434\u0438<\/span>\u0442\u044c\u0441\u044f<\/b> derives from \u0432\u043e\u0434\u0438<\/span>\u0442\u044c<\/b>, “to guide,” it does NOT translate as “to guide oneself.” Here, it means “to generally be\/exist”, and in this sense it’s used mainly in the third person, especially about animals. A synonymous phrase would be \u0432 \u043a\u043e\u0442\u043e<\/span>\u0440\u043e\u0439 \u0431\u044b\u0432\u0430<\/span>\u044e\u0442 \u043a\u0440\u043e\u043a\u043e\u0434\u0438<\/span>\u043b\u044b<\/b> — also meaning that crocodiles, as a general rule, can be found in this river (whether or not there are crocodiles there at this very minute). Or, finally, you could say \u0432 \u043a\u043e\u0442\u043e<\/span>\u0440\u043e\u0439 \u0436\u0438\u0432\u0443<\/span>\u0442 \u043a\u0440\u043e\u043a\u043e\u0434\u0438<\/span>\u043b\u044b<\/b> — “in which crocodiles live.”<\/p>\n

And in the answer, note that \u0432\u0435\u0434\u044c<\/b> means “since” only in the sense of “after all,” never in the sense of “I’ve been doing this since yesterday.”<\/p>\n

If you’re a little tired of elephants, here’s another example of a Russian joke that’s internationally funny. And by the way, note the extreme “minimalism” of the first line — just grammatical fragments with no complete sentences, and not even an actual verb (except as a participle). That’s quite common in the set-ups to Russian jokes.<\/p>\n

\u0414\u0435\u0440\u0435<\/span>\u0432\u043d\u044f. \u041f\u043e<\/span>\u0437\u0434\u043d\u0438\u0439 \u0432\u0435<\/span>\u0447\u0435\u0440. \u0414\u043e<\/span>\u043c. \u0421\u043a\u0440\u0438<\/span>\u043f \u043f\u043e\u0434\u044a\u0435\u0437\u0436\u0430<\/span>\u044e\u0449\u0435\u0439 \u0442\u0435\u043b\u0435<\/span>\u0433\u0438. \u0421\u0442\u0443<\/span>\u043a \u0432 \u0434\u0432\u0435<\/span>\u0440\u044c:
\n— \u00ab\u0425\u043e\u0437\u044f<\/span>\u0438\u043d, \u0432\u0430<\/span>\u043c \u0434\u0440\u043e\u0432\u0430<\/span><\/span> \u043d\u0443\u0436\u043d\u044b<\/span>?
\n— \u00ab\u041d\u0435<\/span>\u0442, \u0431\u0440\u0430\u0442\u043e<\/span>\u043a, \u0441\u043f\u0430\u0441\u0438<\/span>\u0431\u043e.\u00bb
\n\u041d\u0430\u0443<\/span>\u0442\u0440\u043e<\/span> \u0445\u043e\u0437\u044f<\/span>\u0438\u043d \u043f\u0440\u043e\u0441\u044b\u043f\u0430<\/span>\u0435\u0442\u0441\u044f<\/span> — \u0430 \u0434\u0440\u043e<\/span>\u0432 \u0432 \u0441\u0430\u0440\u0430<\/span>\u0435 \u043d\u0435<\/span>\u0442.<\/b><\/p>\n

A village. Late evening. A house. The squeak of an approaching handcart. A knock at the door:
\n— “Sir (literally, “master of the house”), do you need firewood?”
\n— “No, buddy, thanks.”
\nThe next morning the owner of the house wakes up — and there’s no firewood in the shed.<\/p>\n

Here, there’s just a little bit of wordplay based on the ambiguity of \u043d\u0443\u0436\u0435\u043d<\/b>\/”needed”, but the wordplay works the same in both languages — it can mean either “I don’t have any and must get some” or “I already have some, but I can’t part with any of it.” (Okay, maybe it’s not exactly laugh-out-loud funny — it’s one where you slap your head after you think about it for a minute.)<\/p>\n

And here’s a joke with the same-but-opposite logic, though I think this one is funnier:<\/p>\n

\u0422\u0443\u043c\u0430<\/span>\u043d\u043d\u043e\u0435 \u0443<\/span>\u0442\u0440\u043e, \u043c\u0443\u0436\u0438<\/span>\u043a \u0438\u0434\u0451\u0442 \u043f\u043e \u043b\u0435<\/span>\u0441\u0443<\/span>. \u0412\u0434\u0440\u0443<\/span>\u0433 \u0438\u0437 \u0442\u0443\u043c\u0430<\/span>\u043d\u0430 \u043f\u043e\u044f\u0432\u043b\u044f<\/span>\u0435\u0442\u0441\u044f<\/span> \u0451\u0436\u0438\u043a \u0438 \u0433\u043e\u0432\u043e\u0440\u0438<\/span>\u0442:
\n— \u00ab\u041f\u0430\u0446\u0430<\/span>\u043d, \u0443 \u0442\u0435\u0431\u044f<\/span> \u0432\u0435\u0440\u0451\u0432\u043a\u0430 \u0435<\/span>\u0441\u0442\u044c?\u00bb
\n— \u00ab\u041d\u0435<\/span>\u0442.\u00bb
\n\u0401\u0436\u0438\u043a \u0438\u0441\u0447\u0435\u0437\u0430<\/span>\u0435\u0442.
\n\u0427\u0435<\/span>\u0440\u0435\u0437 \u043d\u0435<\/span>\u0441\u043a\u043e\u043b\u044c\u043a\u043e \u0447\u0430\u0441\u043e<\/span>\u0432 \u043e<\/span>\u043d \u0441\u043d\u043e<\/span>\u0432\u0430 \u043f\u043e\u044f\u0432\u043b\u044f<\/span>\u0435\u0442\u0441\u044f \u043f\u0435\u0440\u0435\u0434 \u043c\u0443\u0436\u0438\u043a\u043e<\/span>\u043c, \u043f\u0440\u043e\u0442\u044f<\/span>\u0433\u0438\u0432\u0430\u0435\u0442 \u0432\u0435\u0440\u0451\u0432\u043a\u0443 \u0438 \u0433\u043e\u0432\u043e\u0440\u0438<\/span>\u0442:
\n— \u00ab\u041d\u0430<\/span>!\u00bb<\/b><\/p>\n

It’s a foggy morning, and a guy is walking through the forest. Suddenly out of the fog a little hedgehog<\/span> appears and says:
\n— “Hey, dude, do you have a rope?”
\n— “No.”
\nThe hedgehog disappears.
\nIn a few hours, the hedgehog again appears in front of the man, stretches out a length of rope, and says:
\n— “Here ya go!”<\/p>\n

(Yelena once told a variant in which an exterminator asks a housewife: “Do you have any cockroaches?”, with the identical punchline \u00ab\u041d\u0430!\u00bb<\/b> — “Here, have some!”)<\/p>\n

And finally, since we’ve been talking mainly about clean jokes for kids, here’s something just a wee bit edgier, as a palate-cleanser.<\/p>\n

\u0412\u0438\u043d\u043d\u0438-\u041f\u0443\u0445 \u043f\u0440\u0438\u0445\u043e<\/span>\u0434\u0438\u0442 \u043a \u041f\u044f\u0442\u0430\u0447\u043a\u0443<\/span><\/span> \u0438 \u0433\u043e\u0432\u043e\u0440\u0438\u0442:
\n– \u00ab\u042f<\/span> \u0445\u043e\u0447\u0443<\/span> \u043e\u0442\u043a\u0440\u044b<\/span>\u0442\u044c \u043a\u043e\u043e\u043f\u0435\u0440\u0430\u0442\u0438<\/span>\u0432 \u00ab\u041c\u0435\u0434\u043e\u043a\u00bb. \u0422\u044b<\/span> \u043c\u043d\u0435<\/span> \u043f\u043e\u043c\u043e<\/span>\u0436\u0435\u0448\u044c?\u00bb
\n– \u00ab\u0423\u0445 \u0442\u044b<\/span>! \u041a\u043e\u043d\u0435<\/span>\u0447\u043d\u043e! \u041c\u0451\u0434 \u0431\u0443<\/span>\u0434\u0435\u0448\u044c \u043f\u0440\u043e\u0434\u0430\u0432\u0430<\/span>\u0442\u044c?\u00bb — \u043e\u0442\u0432\u0435\u0447\u0430<\/span>\u0435\u0442 \u041f\u044f\u0442\u0430\u0447\u043e<\/span>\u043a.
\n– \u00ab\u041d\u0435<\/span>\u0442, \u043c\u0451\u0434 \u044f<\/span> \u0431\u0443<\/span>\u0434\u0443 \u043f\u043e\u043a\u0443\u043f\u0430<\/span>\u0442\u044c, \u0430 \u043f\u0440\u043e\u0434\u0430\u0432\u0430<\/span>\u0442\u044c \u044f<\/span> \u0431\u0443<\/span>\u0434\u0443 \u0441\u0432\u0438\u043d\u0438<\/span>\u043d\u0443!\u00bb<\/b><\/p>\n

Winnie the Pooh comes to Piglet’s house and says:
\n— “I want to open a cooperative store called \u00abBit O’ Honey\u2122\u00bb. Will you help me?”
\n— “Gosh, are you kidding?! Of course I’ll help! Are you going to sell<\/i> honey?” responds Piglet.
\n— “No, I’m going to buy<\/i> honey, but I’m going to sell pork<\/i>!”<\/p>\n

Take careful note of the Russian word order in the last line. As a general rule of Russian syntax, moving a word to the end of a clause or sentence can serve to emphasize that it’s new or important information<\/b>. (In the English translation, I’ve used italics instead.)<\/p>\n

Piglet has already mentioned \u043c\u0451\u0434<\/b> in line 3, so that’s “old info.” And thus Pooh responds in line 4, with old information in blue and new information in red: \u00ab\u043c\u0451\u0434<\/span> \u044f \u0431\u0443\u0434\u0443 \u043f\u043e\u043a\u0443\u043f\u0430\u0442\u044c<\/span>, \u0430 \u043f\u0440\u043e\u0434\u0430\u0432\u0430\u0442\u044c<\/span> \u044f \u0431\u0443\u0434\u0443 \u0441\u0432\u0438\u043d\u0438\u043d\u0443<\/span>\u00bb<\/b>. Putting \u0441\u0432\u0438\u043d\u0438\u043d\u0443<\/b> at the end of its clause is not only consistent with the general rules of syntax, but also saves the “punch” for the very end of the punchline!<\/p>\n

(Keep in mind that the Soviet-made \u0412\u0438\u043d\u043d\u0438-\u041f\u0443\u0445<\/b> cartoons became eternally beloved cult classics in Russia — a status never really achieved by the Disney version in America. And hence the rather extensive catalog of tasteless jokes parodying Pooh and his friends. Usually cute little \u041f\u044f\u0442\u0430\u0447\u043e<\/span>\u043a<\/b> is the one who suffers, probably because his squeaky voice has a certain Tickle-Me-Elmo quality.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"\"\"

A: An electric elephant. Or, in Russian: \u0427\u0442\u043e \u044d\u0442\u043e: \u041e\u0433\u0440\u043e\u043c\u043d\u043e\u0435, \u0441\u0435\u0440\u043e\u0435, \u0438 \u0441\u0432\u0435\u0442\u0438\u0442 \u043a\u0430\u043a \u043b\u0430\u043c\u043f\u043e\u0447\u043a\u0430? — \u042d\u043b\u0435\u043a\u0442\u0440\u0438\u0447\u0435\u0441\u043a\u0438\u0439 \u0441\u043b\u043e\u043d. The Elephant Joke genre occurs in many different languages — generally, these jokes tend to “travel well” because their humor rarely depends on untranslatable puns, or on pop-culture references that quickly go stale. And one finds them…<\/p>\n

Continue Reading<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":94,"featured_media":4497,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"content-type":""},"categories":[8,7828],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4493","post","type-post","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-language","category-russian-for-beginners"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t