France is once again in the news. Over the past year and a half, I have had to write several posts dedicated to the victims of terrorist attacks that targeted France: The Charlie Hebdo and related attacks in January 2015, the November 2015 attacks across Paris, and now the horrible events of last Thursday on the French national holiday of July 14 in Nice.

For us Francophiles and French learners, there are new words that we never thought needed to fill our vocabulary: attentat, chagrin, état d’urgence, les portés disparus, tuerie. These words splash across headlines. Several years ago, Americans who met my French husband for the first time would speak about their favorite French cities or their favorite French wine with him. Now, when someone hears my husband’s accent or learns that he is from France, the first response is “I am so sorry,” followed by “Why is this happening so often in your country?”

It’s a question that is on a lot of people’s minds. We cannot responsibly relate France to war zones as those in Syria, Iraq, and elsewhere. But the country is seized by fear, and rightfully so. According to this article, more people have been killed in terrorist attacks in France since 2015 than in the country in the past one hundred years. That’s a frightening figure.

Terrorist attacks are still very rare–even in France. Many more have been thwarted by French intelligence than have been successful. And it is, after all, the goal of terrorists to instill enough fear in the hearts of people to have them change their habits. But these rational thoughts don’t help to quell our grief for those lost. Nor our fear for the future of the country we love, nor for the futures of the many and diverse men, women, and children who call the country home.

Yes, we should not deprive ourselves of the richness that is France. And, yes, our lives will be poorer if we cross the country off our itineraries because of our fears. But I also think there is something to be said for delving into our grief. I, for one, am sad for the lives lost–but also for what seems to have become the new reality  for the country I love.