Step One: Démenagez au Canada.

Move to Canada. That’s all it takes. I’ve been here depuis dimanche, and I forgot how amazing it is to be in a country where everything is labeled in French. But even better than actual France, le tout Canadais bilingue, so everything is labeled in French and then translated! Incroyable. Seriously, get on a plane.

Je suis dans la Terre-Neuve, Newfoundland, the easternmost province of

Carte de la Terre-Neuve (Newfoundland) via Google Maps

Canada. C’est un pays de fôrets et de lacs (it’s a land of forests and lakes). Pop quiz: How can you remember that fôret is feminine?

From the Victor Hugo poem “Demain, dès l’aube”that Hichem wrote about: “…J’irai par la fôret, j’irai par la montagne…” That’s exactly what I’m doing: going through this gorgeous, wild land of forests and mountains.

They may not be sign-posted bilingually, but here are the words you would need to explore la Terre-Neuve en français:

The forest:        la fôret

The lake:          le lac

The pond:         l’étang

The iceberg:      l’iceberg (tip of the i.: le sommet de l’iceberg)

The fir tree:       le sapin

The blueberries: les myrtilles / les bleuets (au Canada)

The boat:          le bâteau

Newfoundland dog: un chien terre-neuve

To fish: pêcher

To hike:            faire des randonnées, faire de l’alpinisme

To visit:            rendre visite à…

PS: The best thing about bilingual Canada is naming things in English and French, like “Café Starbucks Coffee” and “Action Plan d’Action.”  Trop forts ces canadiens.