The nights are dark and full of trolls, there’s Björk singing about how horrifying the Christmas Cat is and grocery stores have an overpowering smell of smoked meat – that’s what the real Christmas spirit is made of, right? Be prepared for the parts of Icelandic Christmas that are not like what you’re used to!

The beer that’s not beer

Keep in mind one basic rule: you can only buy alcohol in Vinbúðin or bars/restaurants when you’re in Iceland. Whatever you see in grocery stores is either nonalcoholic or not what you assume it is. Jólaöl, Hvítöl etc. all have the confusing -öl at the end, but they’re actually sweet malt soda drinks that may take a while to get used to if they’re not a stable in your home culture. Especially beware anything called malt + appelsín, those are a kind of a really popular, traditional Icelandic thing to drink during Christmas… it’s sweet malt mixed with orange soda. It may take a while to get used to the taste.

No ham or turkey, lamb

Where I’m from – Finland – the main course of a Christmas dinner is ham. Not so in Iceland: here you would traditionally get a smoked leg of lamb (or horse, that’s also a possibility) called hangikjöt. It has a strong salty and smoky flavour and is typically eaten with mashed peas, boiled potatoes, béchamel sauce, and of course there’ll be stacks of laufabrauð, thin, deep-fried disks of deliciousness.

Books vs. clothes

Have you already seen the meme that claims that Icelanders give each other books for Christmas and then spend the Christmas night reading? Not entirely true, sorry. While it’s definitely true that Icelanders read lots of books and that books are a really popular present, I’ve never seen or heard of anyone doing the latter part. If anything, a good book is read at a better time, Christmas night is spent socializing.

If you asked an Icelander what a traditional, popular Christmas present would be, they’d probably say an item of clothing instead of a book. The fearsome monster Urðarkötturinn (= cliff cat, the Christmas Cat) kills and eats everyone who didn’t get new clothes for Christmas, so people do their best to keep their friends and family safe from it. There’s even a saying “to go to Christmas Cat” (að fara í jólaköttinn) to explain you didn’t get new clothes.

Christmas trees

What do you do if you get lost in an Icelandic forest is a popular joke. The answer is of course: stand up. Iceland has almost no forests and what trees grow here don’t usually grow very tall. Icelanders prefer their Christmas trees somewhat on the small side, ranging from tabletop size to about 170cm tall going by the selection of trees being sold that I’ve seen so far (although I’m sure taller ones are available as well, they’re just not as common).

Long work days

Like mentioned, new clothes for Christmas is a huge thing over here and that doesn’t only mean presents. Everyone needs to buy something new and fancy, and if you end up in Iceland around this time of the year and are in desperate need of a haircut you might as well forget about it. Hairdressers are booked full and they’re working longer days than usual. In fact all businesses that are somehow tied to Christmas celebrations put in insane amounts of working hours. It’s the biggest money season, so as long as business is going wild you work your fingers to the bone. There’ll be quieter times come January, then you can rest.

Survival of the luckiest

Going by old Icelandic Christmas traditions your best present will be getting to keep your life! 😀 A country that spends half of the year in almost absolute darkness tends to grow some frightening stories, and in Iceland these stories for some reason center around the holidays.

First of all, there’s the cat that I already mentioned. The cat’s not your only worry however, as trolls are about as well. Grýla, the mother of the Icelandic Yule Lads, looks for her Christmas dinner and her favourite is small children. Good or bad, doesn’t matter. Her sons run around stealing food and important items, eating candles, slamming doors and peering through windows, and if this is not yet enough just wait for the Christmas night. That’s when elves like to party, and some of them prefer to do this inside human houses. Humans inside the house already? No problem… kill them all.

Of course there are nicer elves as well. They might not outright kill you, unless you’re mean to their children or flirt with their spouse. On the other hand if you’re nice to their children and cold to their flirtatious spouse they might reward you well for it!

Stay safe this Christmas. 😉

 

The Icelandic blog of Transparent language would like to wish all you lovely readers Happy Holidays!

Gleðileg jól og farsælt komandi ár!

I’ll end this post on a little bit different note; due to some life changes I’m sad to say I won’t be having the time needed for blogging anymore. Worry not though, the blog will still be here and new Icelandic posts will return next year with a brand new writer. Please give them a warm welcome, and thank you for all the years I’ve had the privilege to write for you people. It’s been absolutely fantastic, thank you so, so much!