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Et Si…? (What If…?) Posted by on May 15, 2013 in Music, Vocabulary

Ever wonder what if things went differently?

Le monde serait-il devenu si différent? (Would the world have turned out to be so different?)

The French musical featured today sings, tongue-in-cheek, about the so-called Effet papillon (Butterfly Effect): Every little detail could transform the world as we know it.

Or is there more to that?

Ray Ventura’s “Le Nez de Cléopâtre“, from the movie “Feux de joie” (“Bonfires”)

Si le nez de Cléopâtre avait été plus long
If Cleopatra’s nose were any longer

Si le grand Paganini n’avait pas joué du violon
If the great Paganini did not play violin

Et si Roméo n’avait pas rencontré Juliette
And what if Romeo hadn’t met Juliette

On en serait pas là
We would not be here

Si vraiment tous les chemins ne menaient pas à Rome

If all the roads did not really lead to Rome

Si le père Adam n’aimait pas tant les pommes

If Father Adam were not that much into apples

Si les gars de Jéricho n’avaient pas eu de trompettes

If the Jericho guys had no trumpets

On en serait pas là
We would not be here

Oh non! sans tout cela, on aurait pas d’ennui

Oh no! Without all this, we would have had no trouble

Oh non! Tous nos tracas seraient bien vite enfuis

Oh no! All of our worries would quickly fade away

Car si la Joconde n’avait pas son fameux sourire

For if the Mona Lisa did not have her famous smile

Si Cambrone n’avait pas eu son petit mot à dire

If Cambrone did not get to utter his four-letter word

Si François Ier s’était payé une byciclette

If Francis I bought himself a bicycle

On en serait pas là
We would not be here

Si le nez de Cléopâtre avait été plus long

If Cleopatra’s nose were longer

Si Remus soudain n’avait plus l’accent de Toulon

If Remus all of a sudden had no Toulon accent anymore

Si Tino Rossi savait jouer de la guitare

If Tino Rossi knew how to play guitar

On en serait pas là
We would not be here

Si quelqu’un pouvait comprendre les vers de Paul Valery

If someone could understand the verses of Paul Valery

Si Pierre Dac était mannequin au casino de Paris

If Pierre Dac were a mannequin at the Casino of Paris

Et si Maurice Rostand se mariait avec Tonia Navarre

And if Maurice Rostand married Tonia Navarre

On en serait pas là
We would not be here

Si tous nos tracas tiennent à bien peu de choses

If all our worries were too insignificant

C’est fou 

It’s crazy

Mais en tout cas, nous en avons la cause
But in any case, we got the cause of it all

Si Michel Simon n’avait pas tant de sex appeal

If Michel Simon did not have so much sex appeal

Si monsieur Léon Jouhaux dansait le Big Apple

If Mister Leon Jouhaux danced the Big Apple

Si l’orchestre Ray Ventura ne faisait pas tant de tintamarrre

If the Ray Ventura orchestra did not make such a hullabaloo

On en serait pas là
We would not be here

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