Italian Curiosities – Part 1 Posted by Geoff on Mar 6, 2018 in Culture
After days of bitterly cold wind, snow and ice, we we’re desperate to get out of the house and see something different. We did!
Per domenica hanno messo bel tempo … they’ve predicted nice weather for Sunday. By nice, I mean no snow or rain, and temperatures above 0°C … well that’s something!
Having studied the meteo, we decide to head south, not far … mica andiamo in Sicilia!
We’ve never been to Fosdinovo, it’s only about 40 minutes drive from us and has, allegedly, an interesting haunted castle. Quindi … andiamoci … so … let’s go there!
But the first curiosity lies just a few kilometres down the way from our house: Ladies and gentlemen, I present, for your edification, or maybe mystification … Le Bacheche Elettorali Vuote!
Bacheche elettorali (electoral billboards) 04/03/18. Photo by Geoff
Disclaimer: I care as much about politicians as do my cats, but it is my painful duty to try and give you a glimpse into the insane asylum that is Italian Politics.
Today is, theoretically, an important day for Italy. It’s Sunday the 4th of March 2018, national election day. Il comune, the local council, has erected impressive looking lines of bacheche elettorali (electoral billboards) close to the seggi elettorali (polling stations). This gives all of Italy’s countless political parties a fair chance to display their publicity. Here, they can stick their pretty electoral posters full of wonderful words and slogans. They can explain how they’re going to transform Italy into a fair and functioning society … there’ll be jobs for all, taxes will be lower, your eczema will get better … and, of course, all of those nasty emigrants will be sent packing back to where they belong.
Dear readers, the more than 50 empty bacheche in this photo will tell you all you need to know about how much politicians actually give a damn about il popolo, the people that they’re meant to serve. The message seems clear: Noi non ce ne freghiamo neanche di venire da voi e mettere su la nostra pubblicità, we can’t even be bothered to come and put up our publicity for you.
But 50 billboards, you say … how many damned political parties are there in Italy?
Well, easily enough to fill all those empty bacheche if they used one each.
Geoff and Mr. Black demonstrate their immense interest in politics …. Photo by Serena
Okay, I’m sure you’re dying to know aren’t you? The following is a true list, I did not invent these political parties, even those with outrageous names … well maybe one 😉
Coalizione di Centrodestra – Centre Right Coalition:
Forza Italia – Go Italy, led by Silvio Berlusconi.
Important note for confused readers: Yes, ‘the’ Silvio Berlusconi. Italy’s 81 year old millionaire business tycoon, previously banned from leading a political party following his conviction for fraud, famous for his Bunga Bunga parties and consorting with underage Moroccan prostitutes, now rebranded after a stint of community service for his misdeeds and rejuvenated by a yet another series of facelifts and hair implants (eddai, sembra davvero un bel giovanotto!). We know we can trust him because his slogan promises: Onestà – Honesty, Esperienza – Experience, and Saggezza – Wisdom.
Pray forgive me dear readers whilst I pause to wipe the tears of mirth from my eyes … and continue the list …
Lega – The League (formerly the separatist Lega Nord), led by Matteo Salvini.
Fratelli d’Italia – The Brothers of Italy, led by Giorgia Meloni.
Noi con l’Italia – Us with Italy, led by Raffaele Fitto, a reincarnation of Democrazia Cristiana, the Christian Democratic party that governed Italy for nearly 50 years.
Coalizione di Centrosinistra – Centre Left Coalition:
Partito Democratico – The Democratic Party, led by Matteo Renzi. They’ve been in power for the last five years.
Civica Popolare – Popular Civic, led by Beatrice Lorenzin
Lista + Europa – The Pro Europe List, led by Emma Bonino
Italia Europa Insieme – Italy Europe Together, led by the current Prime Minister Paolo Gentiloni
Svp – Patt (Partito Autonomista Trentino Tirolese). The Autonomous Trentino Tirolese Party, a separatist group, led by boh!
Principali Gruppi Politici Indipendenti – Main Independent Political Groups:
Movimento 5 Stelle – The Five Stars Movement, led by Luigi Di Maio, founded by comedian Beppe Grillo
CasaPound – CasaPound (sounds like a cheap British supermarket but in fact a far right wing neo-fascist group) led by Simone di Stefano.
Liberi e Uguali – Free and Equal, led by Pietro Grasso
Potere al Popolo – Power to the people (extreme left wing group), led by Viola Carofalo
Our little car parked near the empty political billboards on election day, just to give you a sense of scale. Photo by Geoff
Altri Gruppi Politici Minori – Other Minor Political Groups (I may have invented one of these, see if you can spot it):
Il popolo della famiglia – The Family People (nothing to do with The Village People!)
Italia agli italiani – Italy For The Italians (… they sound um … welcoming!)
Partito Comunista – well I don’t think I need to translate that one
Partito Valore Umano – The Human Values Party (duh!)
10 volte meglio – 10 Times better (sounds like a cheap Italian supermarket)
Per una sinistra rivoluzionaria – For a Revolutionary Left
Polo nord ai pinguini – North Pole For The Penguins
Partito Repubblicano Italiano – The Italian Republican Party
Grande Nord – Big North
Autodeterminazione – Self Determination
Popolo per la Costituzione – People For The Constitution
Patto per l’autonomia – Pact For Autonomy
Blocco nazionale per le libertà – National Freedom Block
Siamo – We Are
Rinascimento – Renaissance
Italia nel cuore – Italy In The Heart
Che impressione, vi fa cari lettori? What’s you’re impression dear readers? Please share.
Now … who spotted my fake political party?
Next time, a haunted castle and a surreal pizzeria!!!
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Comments:
Elaine:
I sincerely hope it’s “Polo nord ai pinguini ” that you made up, otherwise I’d love to hear their manifesto!
Geoff:
@Elaine Haha, you spotted it! Their manifesto would probably be one of the most interesting 🙂
A presto.
Helen Berg:
@Elaine Polo nord ai pinguini is the creation. Awesome post and good news day for it, too. But someone crashed your server and it might be Il popola della famiglia, but maybe it was the Massad.
Joe:
I thought I saw on the ballet one party called: Free Flights to Italy, or something like that. Now that’s a platform I can get behind!
Geoff:
@Joe Actually, if you saw a ballet called Free Flights to Italy that would be far more interesting 🙂
Saluti!
Joe:
Sorry, I meant Ballot.
Gina Bisaillon:
Autodeterminatzione may be a genuine party, as long as they spell it without the “t”!
Geoff:
@Gina Bisaillon Well spotted Gina, I copied and pasted that name from the official electoral list and didn’t notice their typo!
Grazie 🙂
Janet E McCourt:
I haven’t been reading your posts for awhile now as I was doing a 2nd Masters program. However, now that I have finally graduated I read today’s post. It was great. Kind of reminded me of our U.S. Republican party nominees back in 2016. Of course, anyone would have been better than who we got, but that’s what big money and corruption buys.
Geoff:
@Janet E McCourt Big money and corruption … don’t you mean democracy and freedom 😉
Saluti da Geoff
Ian Carter:
Hi Geoff
As a new resident in Italy (Lunigianna) Northern Tuscany, and struggling to learn the lingo I have found your post both interesting and witty.
In my 3rd year now, I am more aware of the frustrations of living in this lovely country and find myself debating why simple changes can’t be made. For me, the government sees intent on deterring any form of entrepreneur. The old UK analogy that there are only two guarantees in life “Death & Taxes” is just so prominent here, and yet to add insult to injury, one tends to live longer in Italy!!!
Any way, thank you for your input! 🙂
Regards
Ian Carter (Manchester)
Geoff:
@Ian Carter Ciao Ian, e benvenuto in Lunigiana!
I once wrote a blog about the three stages of learning to live here, but I can’t recall the title right now.
Anyway, it goes like this:
Stage 1. La Bella Vita – you love Italy, it’s all one big adventure
Stage 2. Sempre Incazzato – you hate Italy, it’s all one big disaster
Stage 3. Boh … siamo in Italia … cosa ti aspetti? – you accept it for what it is …….
It’s pretty much impossible to reach stage 3 if you don’t speak the ‘lingo’ .. so keep working at it, su, forza!
Caso mai, dove sei esattamente in Lunigiana?
A presto, Geoff 🙂
Jacqui:
Haha! Molto buffo ma come mai gli Italiani scelgono? Io sceglierei il partito dei pinguini!!
Geoff:
@Jacqui Anch’io li sceglierei Jacqui! 🙂
Jane:
Secondo me, Polo nord ai pinguini non è una vera partita politica, però, non sono sicura!
Geoff:
@Jane A questo punto, i pinguini sono gli unici che ci possono salvare! 😉
Jane:
@Geoff @Geoff é vero!
Lesley Brennan:
Ciao Geoff
Ho tanti amici italiani in italia e mi sembra che anche per loro adottano il tuo “Stage 3”. Per me e’ molto difficile avere una conversazione perche’ a loro non si interessa la politica.
Saluti, Lesley
Geoff:
@Lesley Brennan Ciao Lesley, infatti ‘stage 3’ è tipicamente Italiano. E non è che non gli interessa la politica, è che ormai sono talmente disillusi e cinici che è impossibile parlare della politica senza bestemmiare. Quindi, è meglio lasciare perdere!
Saluti da Geoff 🙂
Jan:
Yes, for those of us in the America’s there truly was a party choice of Free Flights to Italy, but it was determined after the election that it should not have made the ballot, but somehow got through all the ‘is it fake’ tests. Only for my dear Italy!
Rosalind:
I also suspected “10 volte meglio”. The one about penguins could almost have been real.
On a very recent trip to Italy, arriving on election day, I was puzzled by the empty election billboards and the endless list of parties. And there is no second round to sort out the big boys from the jokers!? And do they all get public financing for their election campaigns?