Do Polish Ducks Use Bad Language? Posted by Anna on Sep 11, 2009 in Culture
A few years ago, a “Polish” couple living in a certain English speaking country decided that what their small daughter truly needed was a real, “straight-off-the-boat” Polish nanny. Though they themselves spoke some Polish (as much as can be expected of third and second generation Poles), it just wasn’t the kind of Polish they wanted their daughter to speak. Enter the nanny – a young girl from a small village somewhere near Kielce. Or maybe Katowice. I’m not 100% sure. Świeżo upieczona maturzystka (freshly graduated from high-school) with very basic English skills. But that suited the couple just fine. After all, they wanted a Polish speaking “real” Polish nanny.
But just to be sure that everything was OK, they asked me to keep an eye on her for a few days. Show her around, explain why there were two refrigerators in the kitchen and why meat stuff went in one and dairy products in the other, make sure that she knew how to work the vacuum cleaner and tumble dryer, take her shopping, show her where the park, post office, library and what not were. That sort of stuff. So in effect, for a few days I found myself nannying the nanny.
One day we decided to take the kid to the park. It was a beautiful day and the park was filled with mommies and nannies and all sorts of little ones running around and generally having a good time. “Our” little one wanted to feed the ducks (kaczki, there was a duck pond there), so I left her with the nanny and dutifully marched to the nearest store to buy some bread (chleb).
When I got back the first thing I noticed was a group of mothers looking very uncomfortable. Some were dragging their offspring away from the duck pond. And then I saw, or rather heard, “my” nanny and the little girl in her charge making their best duck noises. Polish duck noises. The little girl joyously clapped her hands and loudly shouted “kfa, kfa, kfa!” (it should be spelled “kwa, kwa, kwa” but since it sounds like “kfa”, it will be “kfa” for now.)
“Kfa, kfa, kfa!” the smiling nanny kept making duck noises. The mothers looked at her in disgust, shook their heads and almost covered their children’s ears. I finally realized what was happening and was laughing so hard that snot started to come out of my nose.
You see, Polish ducks say “kfa, kfa, kfa” and if you say it fast a few times you end up with something that sounds like… well, just try it yourself, OK?
I gently explained to the nanny that English-speaking ducks prefer to say what sounds like “kua kua” to a Pole, and that the Polish “kfa kfa” might be somewhat objectionable if used around children and in polite company.
So while Polish ducks might like curse words, dogs (psy) in Poland simply ask “how”. Actually, it’s written “hau” in Polish, but it sounds just like “how”. Cats (koty) speak a universal cat language of “miau miau” which despite its different spelling in Polish is the same as “meow meow” in English.
Horses (konie) go “ihahaha!”, frogs (żaby) “rech rech”, pigs – I’m not sure.
It’s only them polskie kaczki that use bad language.
🙂
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Comments:
Gabriel:
HAHAHA! Maybe one of the funniest posts ever! 😀
Never imagined that polish ducks could say something like that “F word”…
Lori:
When my younger daughter attended a Spanish Immersion School, I found out animals made different sounds, too, in Spanish speaking countries. This past summer some Americans expressed surprise because Polish kids weren’t saying the animal sounds “right.” I pulled out what I knew about animals speaking different when the people speak a different language. Thank you for pointing this out again.
John:
And did you know roosters say, my Polish spelling is probably off, “ku kurik kuuuuu?” And Polish cats don’t respond to the soft American “psh psh psh” but to the harder Polish “ksz ksz ksz?”
Bill:
Great post! I teach English to adults who immigrate to the U.S. Having lived for three and a half years in Poland in the early 90s, I was exposed to most of the Polish animal sounds. To this day when I teach English animal sounds, I contrast them with those of the students’ language (mostly Spanish-speaking) and then for good measure I tell them what Polish animals say. They’re always amused to find out that Polish pigs say “chrum, chrum” (which sounds more or less like “hroom, hroom”).
What draws the most giggles from my students, however, is what the English-speaking rooster says — “Cock-a-doodle-doo!” Their attention is apparently drawn to the first two syllables, which sound like a children’s toilet word. This same word exists in English, but we never seem to make the same connection.
Karen:
Also in Poland, cows say “more” not “moo”! It caused confusion when my husband first met a Polish cousin of mine and didn’t know a word of Polish. My cousin was trying to explain the Polish word Krowa was a cow. For some reason my husband thought my cousin wanted “more – clover”. I was in stitches!! 🙂
Mary:
I have has several incredibly funny conversations along these lines. When i first ever asked my husband (who is polish) what animals say in his language he thought i was nuts until he reaslised that animals say different things in differnt countires!
Thomas F. Westcott:
Anna,
In English pigs say oink.
If you were in stitches then I bet there are times when your hubby would like to have you all sewn up just to keep you quite.
Sometimes one does learn bad words from people and then uses those words in polite compny.
You could write an in depth post about explitives.
One thing I never did understand about explitives was Why do so many people use God’s name as a curse?
Iwona:
Where I come from pigs said “kwik kwik” (kveek kveek), not “chrum chrum”. Turns out Polish pigs are billingual.
gls:
I’m with Iwona. I’ve never heard “chrum.”
Tadek:
I laughed when my Polish friend asked me if the restaurant had “wallet parking” – I said that I knew it was expensive, but that thought they would trust us to pay the bill. She meant *valet* parking! Sometimes it’s just funny from the other side…
Mike:
@Tadek I learned chrum chrum from my wife. She told me thats what polish pigs say. Maybe the little pigs say kwik kwik and the big ones chrum chrum… that makes sense to me.
A duck:
Hello Anna that was not very intelligence what you wrote here. How sad is that that mother is dealing with silly things like this. Oh dear dear way a shame!! …