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Etiquette in Poland Posted by on Nov 30, 2010 in Culture

Poland is fast becoming an increasingly popular tourist destination especially amongst young travelers and backpackers. Poland’s cultural heritage is diverse with its fusion of east-meets-west, and is home to many historically significant towns with distinctive architecture. When you take into account that it also has a great many skiing and Baltic beach resorts, as well as a beautiful lakes, with so many attractions it is no wonder that its tourism industry is increasing. Despite its relative proximity to other central European countries, there are some customs, traditions and etiquette that may set Poles aside from their European neighbors. Make sure that you are aware of at least the basics before you set off on your trip.

Poland is now an autonomous country, and Poles tend to be very proud of their culture, long history and country. Poland’s recent turbulent history, particularly in the events leading up to, during and after World War II, is well documented. Although these events have had an impact on Polish culture and are within living memory, they are by no means the defining aspects of Polish society. It would be ignorant to assume such a thing. However, subject matter such as Communism and the Holocaust should be approached with care. In most circumstances the proper etiquette would be to only cover such topics of conversation if initiated by your Polish host.

Despite its history as part of the former ‘Eastern Block’, Poland was and still is very much in communication with ‘Westernized’ countries. In terms of modern socio-political issues, this translates as a mixture of traditional Polish values meeting with contemporary westernized culture. You will find that whilst Poles will often uphold customs adhering to faith and family values, they are also open to new ideas and concepts.

Christianity is now the main religion practiced in Poland, with Roman Catholicism being the largest denomination. Roman Catholicism is therefore the foundation of many facets of Polish society, with a particular emphasis on the importance of honesty, family and community. Family values and the family itself are intrinsic to Polish culture, and as such gaining the trust and loyalty of a Pole and his family is extremely important.

The issue of trust therefore extends to the forming of acquaintances. You might find that on first meeting, many Poles are very formal and might even appear to be quite stern. Do not assume that this is the ‘real’ demeanor of that particular person, as often it is just a ‘front’ whilst trust and loyalties are established.

When greeting a Pole, it is proper etiquette to shake hands with members of the both sexes, although it is also polite to wait for a woman to be the first to offer her hand. Some Polish men may even kiss the hand of a woman. But when shaking hands you should retain a firm grip and an adequate amount of direct eye contact. However, be aware that too prolonged and direct eye contact might be interpreted as challenging.

Remember to always retain a completely formal approach when addressing your Polish counterparts. Unless you are invited to use first names, you should always use formal titles such as Mr (Pan) or Mrs (Pani) and the surname (family name).

Although some Poles may be able to hold a conversation in English, you should never travel to Poland without learning some conversational Polish beforehand. Being seen to make an effort would be regarded as respectful and polite, and will more than likely earn you some trust from your Polish acquaintances. You should always try to appear open and friendly, so smiling is encouraged when engaged in conversation.

You might find that some Poles are very direct in their questions about your personal life. Do not interpret this as bad manners, it is simply a way for them to learn more about you and establish an open and honest relationship. However, bear in mind that although Poles are very open in their communication, body language and gesticulations are subtler.

If visiting the home of a Pole, you should still retain formal greetings. Your host or hostess should only initiate informalities such as hugging between men and kissing between both men and women. You can bring a gift with you to show your appreciation for being invited into the family home. Wine is a fitting small gift, and flowers are very popular in for both formal and informal social occasions in Poland. Sending a ‘thank you’ card after the event is also considered proper etiquette.

Of course this is just general etiquette. There are different people in Poland just like there are different people in each country. Not all of them are the same, so please keep it in mind.

I would love to hear what was your etiquette experience while visiting Poland, so please share it with us.

 

Do następnego razu! (Till next time…)

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About the Author: Kasia

My name is Kasia Scontsas. I grew near Lublin, Poland and moved to Warsaw to study International Business. I have passion for languages: any languages! Currently I live in New Hampshire. I enjoy skiing, kayaking, biking and paddle boarding. My husband speaks a little Polish, but our daughters are fluent in it! I wanted to make sure that they can communicate with their Polish relatives in our native language. Teaching them Polish since they were born was the best thing I could have given them! I have been writing about learning Polish language and culture for Transparent Language’s Polish Blog since 2010.


Comments:

  1. Steve:

    Thanks as always, Kasia – great stuff. I hope you don’t mind if I add a few points from my own experience.

    Talking about history – you are quite right in what you say, but outsiders should avoid saying anything that might be judgemental about any point in Polish history. People can be very sensitive when foreigners fail to understand the subtleties of Poland’s past.

    Could you give some more advice on kissing as a greeting between men and women. I found this difficult to get used to. I think that friends normally give three kisses – left cheek, right cheek, left cheek. This is abbreviated to two by some people, but others then seem to be waiting for the third. A single cheek kiss seems to be reserved for close family members or other intimate friends. Men hugging each other seems to be equivalent to the latter only.

    Understanding the various use of Pan and Pani is very difficult for foreigners. It has important social implications – Pan Director, Pan Woods, Pan Steeva and just Pan have different implications. Fortunately most Polish English speakers know that someone from England, etc will have no idea how to deal with this and are completely relaxed about immediately moving to first names (eg Steve) when speaking socially in English.

    I absolutely agree on learning a little Polish, but many Polish people (who speak English) will want to converse in English and will be very happy if you only use your Polish with others. They will want to help you with this.

    Assume to begin with that you should bring gifts when visiting someone’s home, only stopping this when it is clear that it others aren’t doing it at that home. My starting point would be flowers for the lady of the house and wine or scotch for the man. They will be completely delighted if you bring something small for any child/ children. It’s not expected, but worth doing.

  2. Polish Mama on the Prairie:

    Steve, you brought up a good point. Flowers are the best gift, as Poles love flowers, and they can be bought in the local Rynek or even in small hut/stands around town for very reasonable prices and beautifullly arranged. I do this whenever I visit my babbcia, who deserves it, and my Wujek always also reminds me to do so. Poles will usually hint to this and help you find a place to purchase flowers to visit another Pole’s house, as they tend to understand that it is not a normal thing to do in America. I always love to bring flowers or a dish to a person’s house here in the US, as I know people don’t expect it, and I am bringing a polish flair for respect when I do so…

  3. John S.:

    I agree with Steve’s comments except when my daughter and I went to Poland in 2008 to meet relatives we got used to the 3-kiss greeting very quickly. We were aware of it, of course, my parents had been immigrants and good guidebooks (like Frommer’s) make the point. However, all the kissing we did was right cheek, left cheek, right cheek. Actually, most of the kissing is done into the air on the right, left, right.
    I must admit, though, most of the people we met were close or distant relatives with friends of theirs thrown in—no business or stranger contacts.