It is THE holiday season in Russia right now: On the 14^th of February it’s«Деньвсехвлюблённых» [The Day of Everybody in Love], then on the 23^rd it’s «ДеньзащитникаОтечества» [Defender of the Fatherland Day], wrapping up on the 8^th of March with «Международныйженскийдень» [International Women’s Day]. Out of these three holidays – on all of which it is custom to give «подаркидлялюбимых» [presents to your loved ones] – the two last ones are also holidays in the sense that you get the day off from work/studies!

Where I come from we don’t have the holidays that are colloquially known as ‘Man Day’ and ‘Women’s Day’ in the same sense that Russia does, but there are ‘Father’s Day’ (in the spring) and ‘Mother’s Day’ (in the fall). My mother used to frown whenever Father’s Day came around, always commenting the occasion with the following words: “Every day of the year is Man Day!”. Growing up as I did, I can blame my doubtful view of today’s Russian public holiday on my liberal, gender-aware, slightly feministic and rebelliously progressive Swedish upbringing. In Russia, however, things are a little bit different – especially in the way that there is a bigger difference between the sexes. One could boil it all down to Russian men being ‘real men’ who drink, smoke, open doors, carry grocery bags, bring home the dough and put their foot down whenever something is displeasing to their point of view, thus making Russian women ‘real women’ who cook, clean, stay at home with the kids, dress in overly feminine clothes even when it isn’t practical, listen rather than speak and have an incessant need to be protected by one of the Fatherland’s Protectors, i.e. Russian real men. Or Russia is a country, at least away from Moscow and St. Petersburg, that hasn’t been as influenced by feminism and equality as most Western countries. In some cases I actually like it. I like it when men hold up the door, when men give up their seats on the buses for women and old babushkas alike or get off the bus first so that they can give you their hand to hold when you’re getting off. That part I have come to like, even though it was shocking – yes, shocking! – to me at first. Now I think going on a date with a man who wasn’t Russian would be disappointing in a way – with no guarantee of flowers, and the possibility of splitting the check…

Right now I’m studying at a Master’s program in Russian literature at Ural State University. Not surprisingly, perhaps, out of the 22 students in my class there is only one boy. And I think that the case of our one male student can clearly show how different a society Russia can be for men and women respectively. Our fellow «студент» [student] or «магистрант»  [Master’s student] (as we are «студентки» [female students] or «магистрантки» [female Master’s students], the plural female form from the singular: «студентка» and «магистрантка») is the one who’s always asked to do anything. We’re 22 people in the group, all of whom are young, strong and healthy, and yet he’s always the one who’s opening windows when the room is too hot, or closing them when it gets too cold. Whenever we need extra chairs, he has to get them on his own, no matter how many. When a professor needs help with anything, he or she will always ask him first, no matter what it is about, and never mind that another girl is the «староста» of our group. I find it funny sometimes, at other times I realize that living your whole life here and only seeing that – I mean, that men are in charge of anything or everything – can make any girl come to believe she is really the ‘weaker half’ of humanity.

I guess the old saying «всёвмеру» could be applied to a case like this. Happy holiday everyone!