Может быть, вы думаете завести какого-нибудь питомца? (“Maybe you’re thinking about getting some kind of pet?”) But perhaps a cat or a dog wouldn’t fit into your образ жизни (“lifestyle”) — or your apartment. In that case, allow me to recommend the lovable серая крыса (lit., “gray rat”), commonly known in English as the “Norway rat” (Rattus norvegicus). Over the years, I have had several pet rats — they’re extremely любопытные (“curious”), значительно умнее мышей и хомяков (“significantly more intelligent than mice or hamsters”), and also ласковые (“affectionate”) и хорошо общаются с людьми (“socialize well with humans”). Currently I’m the хозяин (here: “pet-owner”) of a tuxedo-patterned самка named Крошечка.

Rats may strike many people as an unlikely choice for a питомец (a word that can mean “pet animal,” though it’s also a synonym for воспитанник, “alumnus”!). After all, for thousands of years, крысы причиняют огромный вред человечеству (“rats have caused enormous harm to humanity”). They steal our food, damage materials with their teeth, and are носители многих опасных людям болезней (“carriers of many diseases that are dangerous to humans”), including чума (“the Black Plague”).

Even so, дикая серая крыса сравнительно легко приручается (“the wild R. norvegicus is tamed with comparative ease”), and since the 19th century, completely одомашненные (“domesticated”) varieties of this species have been bred — putting them in the “Top Ten” of the world’s most important laboratory organisms. Plus, they’re much more affectionate pets than D. melanogaster (aka плодовые мушки) or E. coli!

First, let’s take a quick look at the природная история этого вида (“the natural history of this species”).

Despite its name in both English and scientific Latin, the серая крыса is not from Norway, or even from Europe; you can blame an 18th-century British scientist for that error! In fact, the Norway rat originated in eastern China and is not very closely related to the indigenous European чёрная крыса (“common black rat,” Rattus rattus). Because of natural climate barriers, the серая крыса was never able to migrate by land from China to Europe, and only began reaching the West in the early 16th century or so, traveling на морских судах (“on sea-going vessels”).

In the 19th century, professional rat-killers in England would from time to time find особи (“individual specimens”) that had exceptionally спокойные характеры (“calm temperaments”), and realized that scientists were willing to pay money for easy-to-handle rats that could be bred as research animals. We can only speculate that at some point, the wife of an unknown scientist took one look at her husband’s laboratory rats и влюбилась в глазки-бусинки (“and fell in love with their beady little eyes”). What’s known for sure is that 19th-century British ladies were among the first to popularize ручные крысы (“tamed rats”) as fashionable pets — yes, despite the stereotype that Victorian women tended to падать в обморок при появлении грызунов (“fall into a swoon at the appearance of rodents”)!

Несколько слов о содержании питомцев
(“A few words about the keeping of pets”)

Whether you choose a rat, a dog, or a parrot, there are a number of key vocabulary terms that are generally applicable to pets. First, the most common term for “getting an animal as a pet” is заводить/завести (животного) — thus:

Он недавно завёл щенка
“He recently got a puppy.”

Of course, you can use a more generic verb like приобретать/пробрести, “to acquire.” Once you’ve gotten a pet, “to keep a pet” can be expressed with содержать (imperf. only): Мы содержим попугайчиков, “We keep parakeets.”

“To take care of” a pet (or a person, or a thing) can be translated with ухаживать за кем/чем (imperfective only): Наша кошка внимательно ухаживает за своим котёнком, “Our cat takes attentive care of her kitten.” Or you can use the corresponding noun уход, also with за + instrumental:

Она написала книгу об уходе за розами.
“She wrote a book about how to care for roses.”

And when your pet is hungry, you’ll need the verb (на)кормить (+ acc.), “to feed”:

Я кормлю мою крысу макаронами и яичницей.
“I feed my rat macaroni and fried eggs.”

This verb, by the way, is most often applied to animals, not humans, except in the context of infants or invalids: Медсестра кормит больного с ложки, “The nurse is spoon-feeding the patient.” And the derived noun корм means, exclusively, “animal feed.” (There’s also a noun кормление, which means “the act of feeding,” not the food itself.) And your pet needs fresh water, too: here, the verb is (на)поить (+ acc.), “give (a person or animal) something to drink”. You may remember that the song «Ой, мороз, мороз» ends with:

Я вернусь домой, (I will return home)
На закате дня. (At sunset.)
Напою жену, (I will water my wife,)
Обниму коня! (And I’ll hug my horse!)

…or maybe it’s the other way around? 😉 Anyway, the derived noun поилка can mean one of those special drip-bottles used for caged animals.

Of course, for small pets like rats, there are a few other essential words. For starters, you’ll need a клетка, “cage”. A metallic wire cage is the best choice for rats, потому что они очень любят лазить по прутьям (“because they very much love to climb along the bars”). На дне клетки (“on the bottom of the cage”), you’ll need подстилка (“bedding; litter”), which can be torn paper or древесные опилки (“wood shavings; sawdust”).

Oh, and very important: inside the rat’s cage, there must be a домик (“small house”), which can be as simple as a картонка (“cardboard box”) or a жестянка из-под кофе (“empty coffee can”). Even if your rat is so completely tame and fearless that you’ve trained it to take food from your lips, rats dislike eating “in public,” and need a домик where they can dine at leisure, without being bothered by the Hollywood paparazzi.

But one thing I don’t recommend for a rat’s cage: a колесо, “wheel”. Хомяки час за часом бегают в колесе (“Hamsters [will] run in a wheel hour after hour”), but I’ve never met a rat who liked wheels. Instead, it’s a good idea to отпустить вашу крысу из клетки для ежедневной прогулки по комнате (“let your rat out of its cage for a daily stroll around the room”).

Or, in hot weather, some rats even enjoy купание в неглубокой воде (“splashing around / wading in shallow water”)!

В память о Регби (“Rugby”) (2003-2006)