Stuck in traffic on I-95 a couple of days ago, I thought of a post full of Russian words that can be used «по будням и праздникам» [workdays and holidays].

First, I have a confession to make – as «водитель» [a driver], I am in the category that subscribes to the philosophy of «тише едешь, дальше будешь» [slow but steady wins the race]. Not to say I don’t go above the posted «ограничение скорости» [speed limit] once in a while. But even when I do «превышать скорость» [exceed the speed limit], it’s by no more than 5 miles per hour.

I also prefer «дороги местного значения» [local roads] and «дороги с видами» [scenic routes] to «автострада» [highway] even if it takes me three times as long to reach my destination.

Speaking of the word «автострада», I do know that it has nothing to do with the Russian word «страдать» [to suffer], but that’s exactly how I feel whenever I have to drive on one.

Driving on «скоростное шоссе» [highway] is incredibly «скучно» [boring]. To borrow a line from a classic, «все хорошие дороги хороши одинаково» [all good roads are good in the same way]. And truth be told, most roads in the US are pretty good «по сравнению» [compared to] Russian roads. After all, as another classic allegedly pointed out, «в России две беды – дураки и дороги» [Russia has two misfortunes – fools and roads].

It’s not even that roads here in the US are «ровные» [smooth] and mostly «без колдобин» [free of potholes], but that they are clearly marked with various helpful «знаки дорожного движения» [traffic signs] and «дорожные указатели» [direction signs, route markers].

When I first learned how to drive at age 20, I was terrified of highways. But my Dad, whom I trust a lot in all things driving-related, told me that driving on a highway was much easier than on local roads. As he said, «любой дурак может ехать по скоростному шоссе» [any fool can drive on a highway].

I remember his words every time someone «подрезать» [to cut off] in front of me, «перестраиваться из ряда в ряд без поворотника» [change lanes without a blinker], «занимать левый ряд при свободном правом» [to take the left lane when there’s room in the right one], etc. I, myself, never do such deplorable things (at least not to my knowledge).

Driving on a highway in the US can get monotonous for sure. Plentiful and well-marked «заправочные станции» [gas stations] and «забегаловки» [fast-food restaurants] ensure that neither you nor your «тачка» [informal: a car] run out of «горючее» [fuel]. And even if it does, a quick call gets you «эвакуатор» [a tow truck] or a helpful «полицейский» [police officer].

«Площадки отдыха» [rest areas] appear regularly every few dozen miles, complete with «туалеты» [restrooms], «торговые автоматы» [vending machines] selling «закуски и напитки» [snacks and drinks], «дорожные карты» [road maps], and helpful info about local «достопримечательности» [points of interest, attractions] and «гостиницы» [hotels].

But there is a dark side to this «рай автомобилиста» [driver’s heaven] and it’s called «пробки» [traffic]. I drove on I-95 between New York and Florida too many times to count, but not once without getting stuck in traffic.

If you’ve ever been stuck in traffic, you know there are two kinds. One is the slow-crawling caused by «перегруженность движения» [congestion], «приближение к станции сбора дорожных пошлин» [approaching a toll plaza] or, say, «водители, таращащиеся на дорожно-транспортное происшествие» [drivers rubber-necking at an accident]. The other one is stand-still traffic due to «серьёзное происшествие» [a major accident], usually resulting in «перекрытие полос движения» [lane closures].

In this case, I try to find the nearest «съезд» [exit], preferably the one close to «кафе» [café], «торговый центр» [shopping mall] or «что–то интересное» [something interesting]. «Чем стоять в пробке, лучше посидеть в кафе» [Sitting at a café is better than standing in traffic].

I am one of those drivers who love commenting on others’ behavior on the road. I know, it’s a terribly annoying habit. But at least I am not prone to «агрессивное поведение на дороге» [road rage].

And speaking of driving and not driving, I found it interesting that there’s still no simple way of translating “designated driver” into Russian. It’s not a «дежурный водитель» which is more like an on-call driver. It is not a «трезвый водитель» which is a commercial «услуга» [service] where a professional driver will drive you in your car to your house if you are «подшофе» [informal: tipsy, under influence].

So in case you need to explain what “designated driver” is in Russian, you can always just say «человек в компании, который не пьёт и развозит всех подвыпивших друзей по домам после вечеринки» [a person in a group who doesn’t drink and drives all his friends home after the party is over].

What other useful driving and road tripping phrases would you like to add to this post?