Childcare and Kulturkrock Posted by Marcus Cederström on Aug 18, 2011 in Culture
By now, most Swedeophiles now that the Crown Princess of Sweden is pregnant. Yay. Her marriage was one of the biggest news stories of the year last year. I can only imagine what the birth of an heir to the throne will be like. Interesting to say the least.
But with the birth of a Swedish child comes some interesting issues. Like child care. We all know of course about the parental leave and the child allowance and day care and all the benefits afforded to Swedish parents in exchange for their tax money. What sometimes is missed are the little things. Unfortunately for one Swedish mother, those little things led to some big misunderstandings.
In Sweden, it is quite common to leave small children in strollers outside. Some restaurants and other establishments in Stockholm actually have signs posted explicitly prohibiting strollers from being inside the building.
You can find yourself in the dead of winter in Stockholm and a stroller with a small child bundled up and sleeping away while the mother is inside the café having a coffee. It’s something that I don’t really find all that strange. There’s no need to wake the child if it’s sleeping. There’s no need to drag an oversized stroller into a small establishment and encroach on everyone else’s space.
Of course, leaving a child outside is akin to neglect in some countries. Especially the US. In fact, a Swedish mother in Massachusetts recently ran into a bit of trouble with this. Apparently she headed inside at a taco restaurant and left her child in the stroller outside. She claims to have been inside for about ten minutes. By the time she was back outside she had been reported for child abuse.
This is what Swedes call kulturkrock. Literally culture crash, it is the kind of culture shock or culture clash that can sometimes lead to funny situations. You know, when you shake your head yes and it actually means no and all of a sudden you find yourself with a plate full of… something. Of course, it can also lead to the kinds of situations where police are involved and you don’t really know why. As I said before, I really see no problem with leaving a sleeping child in a stroller outside of a café or restaurant. That being said, I do see a problem with not understanding the customs and mores of different cultures. So I find myself disappointed in what I deem to be an overreaction by the American authorities in this case, but also disappointed in this woman’s lack of awareness for her surroundings.
While there is plenty to discuss when it comes to a news story like this, what I am most interested in is the kulturkrock. Have you ever found yourself in a situation in which your culture clash led to serious problems? Or funny ones? Let’s hear.
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About the Author: Marcus Cederström
Marcus Cederström has been writing for the Transparent Swedish Blog since 2009. He has a Bachelor's Degree in Scandinavian Studies from the University of Oregon, a Master's Degree in Scandinavian Studies from the University of Wisconsin–Madison, and a PhD in Scandinavian Studies and Folklore from the University of Wisconsin–Madison. He has taught Swedish for several years and still spells things wrong. So, if you see something, say something.
Comments:
Linda Bliss:
I read about the Swedish mother who got into trouble for leaving her kid outside and I’m in two minds about the whole thing. I can totally see that leaving the buggy outside is easier as they are taking up a lot of space etc inside the cafe or restaurant – and in an ideal world that should be safe to do.
BUT -as a Swede having lived in the UK for the last ten years I wold never, ever consider leaving even my dog outside a shop for two minutes. I just wouldn’t. Who knows what could happen – he could get stolen, chew off his lead and get run over by a car, or bitten by a bigger and nastier dog. If I had a child I know I would be even more cautious, and you definitely don’t see any baby buggies parked outside cafes or restaurants here in London…
Erik NorCal:
I find this idea of leaving a child in a stroller etc outside a shop very interesting. You would never think of doing this here in the USA never! My son went to Sweden and said that this was common. Once he went to a cafe with friends and was told to leave his guitar outside the shop as there was little space inside. He was reluctant to do so but his guitar remained unmolested while he enjoyed his coffee and friends inside. Do we live in a state of fear or suspicion of other people here in the USA? Do people in Sweden have no fear or suspicion of others? Is one country safer than the other? Do we have perceptions of what each place is like based upon stereotypes? This is what I would like to find out
Mandi:
Here is the US there is always so much more danger then in Sweden, which is why I really love Sweden… We can’t trust to leave our children anywhere. It’s difficult to send children to public places even- where catholic priests molest our boys even! Horrible way to live.
Last year I took my mother with us to Sweden, her first time ever out of the US. While she, too, enjoyed Sweden she was shocked to see topless sunbathers in the park in Göteborg. Nudity is one of those things that as Americans we also tend to be shy about. The lady in the park wasn’t hurting anything, it was just a shock for my mom to see this as a norm. I would never think to share of my own enjoyment in getting some sun abroad:)
Romain:
Okay, not a serious problem, but it still bothers me. In France, when you meet a friend’s (female) friend, you usually kiss her (on the cheek!) to say hi. Nothing sexual about that, it’s just about being friendly. I don’t meet foreigners often, but when I tried to “say hi”, a German girl got startled, and an American girl was truly shocked (I even think she thought I was trying to rape her). One thing’s sure, I won’t try to say hi à la French when I go to the USA, I’m too afraid of the kulturkrock!
As for the baby issue, not really the same thing, but I indeed saw in Sweden everyone leaving their bike somewhere (sometimes for the whole day) without being afraid that it might get stolen. I know it’s all about trust, but this would never happen in France (not to mention children). It’s just a matter of culture, as you say. But I guess you’re right when you say someone must adapt to, or at least know, the cultural norms of the country they’re in.
Great blog btw 😉
Marcus Cederström:
great discussion, everyone