Culture Shock When Moving to Sweden? Posted by Transparent Language on Jul 9, 2009 in Culture
Lately it seems that almost all of my on-line friends are planning a move to Sweden. One friend found a Swedish boyfriend, and boom, she’s moving. Another one got a job with a Swedish company. And yet another one is being transferred by his current company to Sweden. And oh yeah, one is going as an exchange student and another one – she’s just moving there because she loves the country and its unspoiled nature.
And all of them are asking me the same question: how much of a culture shock can I expect?
Unfortunately, I am the wrong person to ask this sort of question. My personal opinion is that if you’re moving to Sweden from another western country, there shouldn’t be any major culture shock whatsoever. I mean, Sweden is a modern, developed country. It’s not like we ride donkeys* here and drink horse urine for medicinal purposes. You know what I’m saying?
True, there are many things in Sweden that might be different or done in a different way than what you’re used to back home. But to call it “culture shock”? Nah! I think that’s overkill.
And those differences? Yes, sometimes they can be annoying (but the same can be said about differences between life in San Francisco and North Dakota, for example), but they’re also the reason why moving to a new country is so much fun. If every place was exactly the same, what would be the point of seeing the world?
So here’s my question for you, my wonderful readers, and I really need your input on this one, because like I said before, I’m not really the right person to talk about culture shock. In fact, I dislike the term “culture shock” immensely, especially when applied to Sweden.
But where were we? Oh yes, the question!
When you moved to Sweden, what surprised you the most? What “shocked” you the most? And what advice would give to someone who’s about to pack his or her bags and settle in the land of lagom?
*) though sometimes I really wish we did – what can I say? I like donkeys! 🙂
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Comments:
BM:
It’s the little things that shock you the most. The ready availability of horse meat, the state monopoly on alcohol, said monopoly closing at one o’clock on a Saturday, naked sauna, Warhammer accepted as a normal boy-hood pass-time, the list is endless.
But of course, some of these things, whilst a bit of a “culture shock” turn out to be pretty thumbs-up.
Mark Taylor-Batty:
Be prepared to see the words ‘slags’ and ‘slut’ written on official signs everywhere. They are common but innocent words.
Take a turlapp (ticket for the queue) and wait.
Off licenses that make you feel guilty for desiring the products kept behind bars and glass (I exaggerate)
Judy Jones:
My biggest surprise when I was a young exchange student (30 years ago) was that Swedes generally didn’t use washcloths for cleaning their body. Not only that, but they rarely bathed! They only showered. It was only a little bit of a nuisance, not a shock. But, I was used to a washcloth and taking a bath from time to time in my home in the USA.
What took the most time to get used to was the frequent use of a bicycle. Even in the rain and cold, I was expected to ride a bike to transport myself most places within 5 miles, or so. There were no “soccer moms” driving a bunch of kids to practice or adults jumping in a car to get a container of milk!
The culture was very health conscious in other ways that surprised me, too. We’d have outings to run and cycle in the woods. People would go out for an entire day just to cycle in the country. That seemed pretty weird to me at the time!
Really, the greatest difficulty was how hard it was to make friends and meet people. It was hard to even strike up a conversation with people in passing, on a bus or in an elevator. There’s not much small talk over there. And, I knew folks wanted to talk because they’d stare at me. It was a lot of work to get to know people and make friends. I always tell people that Swedes live up to the stereotype of being “cold.” But, once you break through that hard exterior, they’re soft and warm and friends for life! Loyal to the bone!
Cornelis:
What we enjoy (after moving from Holland) is the quiet traffic, the abundance of nature and the pace of the country life. We were surprised however by the long waiting lists and the poor service level of the swedish health care.
Carla:
The personnumer thing seems to be a big thing, for people who move there.
The subways in Stockholm are different than those in Toronto, where I live, for 2 reasons: there is cell phone reception even underground! and there are vending machines on subway platforms!
When I’m there I notice so many more young, stylish people pushing babies in strollers, and more and more of them are men. Sure, men here hang out with their babies too, but in Stockholm they represent in greater numbers! It’s nice, I assume has something to do with generous paternity leave over there.
Stockholm has sensible bike paths, but on my first visit I didn’t know they were bike paths and I wondered why so many cyclists were riding on the “sidewalk.” But I guess they were wondering why I was walking on the bike paths!
You’re right, these are differences, but not culture shock. I don’t live in Sweden, but min pojkvän does and I’ve been there a couple times. Going again next month!
Majlis Hanson:
I have never lived in Swerige; just visiting and when you are on vacation your expectations and tolerance/ intolerance are quite different -not necessarily high or low, just different and that ‘s how I perceive culture shock, simply different/ intersting. Annoyed? Yes, maybe sometimes but I am occasioanlly annoyed at my own people’s habits and customes too. here are what I ahve observed:
– On my first visit in 1988: there were no comercials on TV. When I came back in 1994, there were.
-Cashiers in supermarkets do their job sitting on stools, not on their feet like their counterparts here in my part of Canada. This is nice. (I worked occasionally as a cashier during my university years)
-It’s common to see men taking real young babies out, in strollers, baby pouches… and it looked like part of their daily routines.
-Hospitals (at least the ones in Bora and Skene) have cozy waiting rooms for families on units with art work on walls and display cases, own washroom, coffee machine and supplies, etc. Except the bedroom, they look like someone bachelor suite – instead of the typical hospital cold look.
-Coffee is served a little after meal and after every meal of the day.
-People are not so bubbling even with clerks on customer services but they are polite enough.
-And here is the huge different: they speak Swedish there! (You don’t know?). I love the musical sounding of the language…
Will do more observation on next trip and if you brought up this topic again I would probably have more thimngs to tell you…
Gimena:
Hey hey!
Well, I havent moved to Sweden, YET…but the one thing that really shocked me when I was there last Feb. was that well people in the subway were so, I dont know, quiet? It was as if they tried to sit as far away as possible from each other, and no one makes a noise.
Down here, in Uruguay, you sit in the first place you see empty, doesnt matter if there’s someone next to you or not. And you even talk to the person, say something about the weather , small talk, you know….Haha. Sometimes some guys even get on the bus and sing or tell jokes.
I guess that was the “weirdest” thing I dealt with, “subway-silence” 😛
Ann:
When I moved here in 2000, there was very little consumer culture. One did not go to the mall and shop – why bother, when the clerks were not interested in your buying anything? Even today the service borders on the apathetic to aggressively disinterested in most stores. But it was good for me, to see where I had been placing my energy (I mean really, to get out of a consumer culture is a GOOD thing) and I started enjoying going out to buy one carton of ice cream, taking it home and watching SVT1 and SVT2 🙂
Ejaz:
good job
Lola:
Hey Anna! I think the big thing for me is that fact that people don’t generally say “Hey! How are you?” or greet others when they walk past each other like the states.
You could be jogging for miles in the woods and not see another soul and then you run into another jogger but they just jog right past without an “hej” or “hello”.
I think that’s the big one for me
Vladimir:
I’m from Ukraine,so when i first came here everything for me was different.Of course, the high standart of living ”shocked” me. But my biggest impression was that most swedish girls are blondes with blue eyes. It s really nice just to look at this bleach blondies and listen to their speach.
Ejaz:
I am afraid that you have lot of things to show but not coming towards the main item directly that is language learning or how you get information about language learning information mean Seedish into English. Can you help me into that.
Anna Ikeda:
Hi guys! Those are all great comments. I don’t even think or notice most of them to be honest. But yes, that lack of “hey, how are you?” is something that surprises many foreigners. In fact, I think it deserves a post of its very own. All your comments deserve a post of their own.
Ejaz, please browse through this blog and you will find a multitude of entries on how to learn Swedish – and all the info is in English.
🙂
Carla:
I really like the combination of language and culture on your blog, tack så mycket, Anna!
Emmanuelle Archer:
Hej Anna!
I recently started reading your blog, in an effort to brush up on my rusty Svenska (haven’t used it in almost 15 years!)
It’s been a while since the last comment so I don’t know if we’ll connect, but I wanted to offer a different perspective on culture shock.
To me, culture shock is not about standards of living, how modern the country is, etc. It’s more about emotions than about anything material.
I work with expats, and I recently had an American client who experienced culture shock when she relocated to Vancouver, BC – literally across the border from her home state.
So you can get genuine culture shock even if the two countries are very similar – whenever you feel like a outsider or a fish out of water, you can get culture shock.
For example, take the way Swedes don’t volunteer additional information or offer their help without being asked. That’s hard to understand if you come from Canada, where someone will always stop to give you directions if you’re looking at a map in the middle of the street.
So to the Canadian, Swedish people seem depressingly cold, rude and unhelpful, whereas Swedes are behaving “normally” for their culture, by minding their own business – that’s culture shock right there!
Sorry for the long comment! I just wanted to throw that out there so that no one starts thinking that something is wrong with them if they get culture shock in Sweden – it can happen pretty much anywhere in the world.
sapphire:
What surprised me the most was that Sweden is way more liberal and culturally advanced than America. maybe it’s a good thing or bad thing, but definitely different.
I love it here though!
Edina:
Well, there are lot of comments here that makes me nod.
I do experienced culture shock, though through my boyfriend’s Swedish blue eyes things make sense, and I understand why they are minding their own business, or why it’s so natural to spit on the street (which would freak me out in my central-european home country).
You got to understand the little things that were listed above in the comments, but somehow you will still have this outsider feeling.
It’s damn hard when you are moving here on your own to someone you love. You deal with relationship, the sensations of your new home, the cultural-social backgrounds, the unemployment, the language barrier, the dos and donts and freedom.
The freedom of choice, speech, wants is a great thing. And you can sense it here when you come from Central Europe.
I should have started to read this blog earlier, when I was preparing to move here. It might have helped me through some hard times.
Will try to catch up with the posts.
Keep on writing Anna.
movers vancouver:
I love to be in Sweden. It is a nice country with rich culture and lovable people.
Moving from one place to another is not an easy task. It requires great mental and some time physical efforts. Although have services of a professional moving company may reduce lots of tension.
I am a Canadian, and I believe Vancouver is a great place to move to. There are fantastic views, wonderful, comfortable and enjoyable accommodations in Vancouver.
Priscilla:
Hej Anna,
Great blog post!
Things that I noticed whilst in Sweden.
– Men aren’t as gentleman-ly as Australian men! They just don’t fuss over you the way Aussie men do!
– Swede’s are very reserved! You have to make a big effort to crack em open. (I am guessing this is a cultural thing? Which is what Emanuelle said how Swedes like to mind their own business. So interesting! I would gladly offer directions to a stranger! lol)
– Swede’s don’t laugh out loud LOL. Reactions are more considered and thought out.
– FIKA! Jag ALSKA DET! “Fika imorgon?”
– Coffee is brewed!
– Kalles is ooshhh
– SO is salty liquorice – what on god’s green earth???
– Vastenbottens Ost is a dream
– Paid parental leave!
– Men are freaking HOT! Women too…
– Reindeer meat, hmmmmm
– Some swedish men can be very androgenous. I’ve only spotted one in Bali and I couldn’t tell if he was or she. He was really pretty. Ever since, I was certainly on the look out when I was in Sweden but to no avail!
AndyOVLeics:
I am moving to sthlm in 2 months and cannot wait for the ‘culture shock’! I have visited Sweden so many times with my Swedish partner I cannot believe it has taken me so long to up sticks and make the move.
I don’t know if its a generational thing or because of the Swedes general interest in English but I have always found Swedes, generally, to be a very social and friendly bunch. It always surprises me about the reported reserved nature…I can’t seem to shut them up! A lovely activity when I am wandering aimless in Stockholm is to actually start saying hej to people…the bemused, puzzled but slightly curious and happy look they often give is worth the effort … Who knows, one day we immigrants might get Sweden saying hello to eachother!!
Great blog, only just found it…
många hälsningar xx
Genevieve:
I live in Barbados in the West Indies and there are a lot of Swedes living here, I know many of them and out of ALL Europeans, I find them the most generous, friendly, appreciative of others culture and would participate, and even do it better! The are fun loving and like a great party!
Americans and Canadians stick to themselves, never participate in the local culture and as expats return to their own countries (after years of living there) never knowing anything about the culture or people. They bring an attitude of ‘we have the best and our way is the way.”
The fact about Swedish men looking after the children…they have been able to get rid off the housework and child caring abuse that women in most other countries endure! They are great people and a great nation!
Genevieve:
I live in Barbados in the West Indies and there are a lot of Swedes living here, I know many of them and out of ALL Europeans, I find them the most generous, friendly, appreciative of others culture and would participate, and even do it better! The are fun loving and like a great party!
Americans and Canadians stick to themselves, never participate in the local culture and as expats return to their own countries never knowing anything about the local culture or people. They bring an attitude of ‘we have the best and our way is the way.”
The fact about Swedish men looking after the children…they have been able to get rid off the housework and child caring abuse that women in most other countries endure! They are great people and a great nation!
Fredrika:
We don’t ride donkey! We ride polarbears! :))
Vida:
Interesting to read about Swedish culture. My husband got interested in visiting Sweden and Norway. He thinks the food and the culture are attractive because it is a very different culture than ours.
My husband experienced culture shock moving from Puerto Rico (Spanish-speaking Caribbean islands) to the USA. He thought people in the mainland where cold, not talkative, too much into making money and work, and did not dance and socialize as much as we do. But he came to appreciate that the USA is more reserved, quiet, commercial, and less social than we are.
I am scared how he might think of the Swedes. They seem a lot more reserved than Americans. And for my husband the Americans are very reserved.
Interesting. I still think he will enjoy Sweden.
Ed:
I think it can be quite a culture shock to live here. I have found it so alot more than i thought it would be. But I think it is quite a personal thing and what you expect from people and society. When i meet with someone from another country here – not necessarily my own – i find it quite a release. I think to err is human and to display your faults to a degree is what binds us but i think Swedish people don’t like to show their weaknesses. I dont think they are shy – just not very open. They are friendly but thats not the same thing. I think you could make the judgement that expression of true feeling is not a Swedish trait. All things are based on logic. There are so many social movements here but you get the feeling that its not based on passion for a cause but rather a sense of civic awareness. Im not sure I will ever make true Swedish friends. I like crazy people who are not ashamed to show that the world is a crazy place, life is crazy and that it can drive you crazy. Swedish people ‘freaking out’ would probably comb their hair before hand…and get a study circle to supervise proceedings!
Julianne:
Hej Anna!
I’m 19, from the Bahamas and my boyfriend is Swedish. I’m here in Sweden now actually for 2 months but now I just have about 5 weeks left. I was here in the summer last year too. I think it’s amazing here and I really want to move here in a few years because distance is really hard. Something that I think will be very hard is learning Swedish and talking in it frequently. I started learning a few years ago and I can understand things when people talk but I don’t know how to properly reply with something. I’m scared/shy to talk in swedish because I know I’ll say things completely wrong. But I also don’t want to talk in English because I want to try listen to people when they speak Swedish. It’s so hard but I’m trying.
When I get back home next month I plan on starting an online course for Interior Design because I really want to study that. I just hope that I would be able to get a job here in a few years if I get to move here. I think it would be hard for me to have a job here because I’d have to speak Swedish most of the time and I probably still won’t know it frequently by then.
The thought of not getting to move here in 2-3 years is really sad because me and my boyfriend want to be together. He is in gymnasiet studying languages. He’ll be 18 tomorrow and he wants to live his life in these next few years. I don’t want to hold him back by wanting him to stay at home and talk to me on the computer because that would be very selfish of me. But I also don’t want him to be doing so much in his life that he rarely has time to talk to me. Distance sucks so incredibly much. I wish there was a way to teleport.
I really like how much freedom people have here. I’ve been to my boyfriend’s school and if the students have to use the bathroom they can just get up and go but back home in the Bahamas you have to ask permission. I also love that here there are all 4 seasons. I’d never seen snow until last month when I got here. It’s so beautiful and amazing. Back at home we basically just have summer all year round and it sucks. We get the occasional cold front so the temperature gets a little lower and it gets windy. I really love how there’s shops everywhere that you can go in. Back home on the island I live on theres hardly any good stores at all with clothes that I’d like. There’s only tourist stores. There aren’t any book/dvd/music stores on the island I live on or a movie cinema/theatre. On the capital island called New Providence/Nassau theres all of that that I just listed.
I also like that it’s not religious at all here in Sweden. Back home basically everone is religious and it gets very annoying. So it’s nice to be here.
It would be so nice to live here. I really hope that I get to move here in a few years because I really don’t wanna lose my boyfriend. I’ve been in love with him for about 5 years now. Han är mitt allt och jag älskar honom så jättemycket!!!
mont:
i really love the country without even being there .i think it is the best country in the world.i am planning to live there .i don’t know how or when but i will do it.as an english teacher , i will try all my best to get there 🙂 i don’t believe in “culture schock” because if you are moving to a new place you should get accustomed to their habits and way of living.it will be interesting to live there.
cross your fingers for me 🙂 !
well that’s all .if ever i got there i will tell you about my experience.
i like the nature and the people and all about Sweden ! just love it all in all.
Waylon Rosati:
Nice! Ima bookmark this.
Hate Sweden!!!:
few things to say: If you come from a high class north american or brazilian, don’t come to Sweden, if you want to start your life from 0 here is not the place!!! everything is expensive. In case of marriage STUDY before to believe in swedish man, they omit informations about Sweden, here there is no people to clean your house, hair dresser is very expensive, manicure much more, if you buy a house, you will have to clean the garden, cut grass, so don’t get full of kids, so you have time to take care of yourself by your own.
You are forced to learn swedish if you want to live here. I live for 9 years, hate, I tolerate.
Hate Sweden!!!:
If you were poor in your natal country Sweden is a paradise, if you were rich…don’t even try!!!!
Joe:
Hi
The post “Hate Sweden!!!” makes me laugh. It is not only in sweden you will have to clean your own garden, you will have to do that everywhere, if you do not pay an gardener to do this for you. 🙂 so this is not a real culutral shock, it more of a luxury/status problem.
Sweden could be tough on some people, especially if you go there with a close mind and compare everything to your “own” country. But this will be the case when you move to any other country then the one you are grown up in.
Yes, it will be a cultural shock, but once you are open minded and see life positive, you can live everywhere in the world!
Sweden are famous to have one of the best health/school systems in the world, if they have to pay extra taxes because of this could be argued for/against if that is correct or not. I can understand this is one thing that will oput many people off form moving here. but again think positive! I rather have good system for my kids, inexpensive childcare, healthcare and long parental leave.. it is worth it..
One more culutral shock mentioned in here is the lack of conversations, the “hello” and how are you, never appear in Sweden as in for example Ireland, UK etc. Swedes are seen to a bit boring in that way. I dont know how to overcome this, just to not stop saying hello (even if you wont get an answer) maybe? maybe the Swedes will learn then 🙂
Swedes are closed books, but once you get to know them they will be your friends forever if you like!
Sweden is a great country, and really need to be visited! and if you have the lucky opportunity to move there, take the chance! Four seasons, paid parental leave, great outdoors activities, beautiful nature, close to all other countries in Europe, and everyone can speak english, why would you not give it a go?
Tim Cline:
my experience of Sveriige differs from most of these posts. I ve been from Malmo til Abisko 4 times. Seen a lot of the country. I met the best people in the world. Skiing Kungsledden alone maybe made Swedes curious about me, likewise hiking Skaneledden#3. But I found them open, friendly and generous. I made friends all over and easily. Not due to me but them. I can’t say enough about them. I love Svea. I thought Oslo was the best. It didn’t take long for me to fall in love with Stockholm, however. Stockholm is the very best city in the world. Don’t believe me? Go and see for yourself. Famous fashion houses in Paris & Milan send burnt out designers north when needing inspiration. On the down low, of course. Don’t believe me? Ride Malmo rush hour train. It’s not just that these commuters are the best dressed you’ll find anywhere on the planet, it’s that they exude a casual elegance , an natural ease with beauty that has to be lived first in order to then be able to express. And sorry, I’ve been all over. There is no where with so many incredibly beautiful people. This is not exaggeration even slightly. In Lund ( favourite ) on a Saturday morning in spring, town plaza, I sat on a bench. By 1030 I concluded that if I were ever needing to put on a fashion show alls I’d need to do for models is hang out on that bench for a bit. Or, if I were the agent of supermodels giving me a difficult time alls I’d need to do to humble is take them on a shopping weekend in Stockholm. Seriously. Go and you’ll see. ***Culture shock? Hmm. For travellers there is only one laundromat in entire country. Across from king Gustav museum in Stockholm. ** Paying for public washroom was new to me. **vat tax helps keep slim ( food is very expensive!) **gender equality is more ingrained. I got shocked when girls did the asking out ( never happened to me before. I didn’t even know what was happening ) ** EU member means lots of corner begging . This is a major issue. **Do not disrespect police or any civic authority. Swedish people are very tolerant and civil but don’t push them. I witnessed police woman just hammer a drunk that verbaled her with zero concern as to numerous onlookers smart phones. Watched a crowd of Africans protesting on Drottingatten -Royal Palace side- it was out of control. Fastest I’ve ever seen for police response, live or on news footage. It was unreal. One other major thing I noticed. Swedes are relaxed, calm, seem laid back. But watching them work at all types of tasks i.e. shipyard, municipal works, railway, etc., the one thing that stood out above everything else to me? They are extremely efficient. I mean to the point it’s incredible. Stuff just gets done. But they never looked hurried, stressed. Or that there is any job they can’t do so fast you’re never able to actually see them doing it. The train station in Kiruna, for example. You could live in the bathroom. Literally. It is that clean. Station was completely empty for hours. I got bread crumbs on the floor. Out of nowhere two workers appear and sweep up. Like, “wham!” As if there was a ‘mess sensor’ or some space age type of thing. Lapland Spring time… Mid April on- just amazing. The one really funny thing? Told Oslo guy I was going to Sweden. He said, ” no don’t go to Sweden. They are cold and unfriendly.” Then told me a joke relating how Norwegians are friendly and Swedes are cold, reserved. In Stockholm I told a Swedish friend I was going to Finland. “Oh no, don’t go to Finland. They are not friendly. They don’t like strangers.” Then he told me the exact same joke the Norwegian had told me. Only this time the Swede was friendly and the Finn was the cold one . Finally, in Helsinki I made an awesome friend, wonderful man. Guess what? I told him I was going back to Sweden. “Oh no” he said “don’t go to Sweden. They are not like us here. They are unfriendly, reserved, cold.” Then he told me the exact same three guys – Norje, Svea, Finn- joke, as the other two had. This time, of course , the Finn was friendly and warm, the Swede not. I explained this to them. None of them could understand how ironic and funny it was for me, let alone coincidental.