I have lived in Sweden for over two years now as an adult. I speak the language fluently. I work here. I even have Swedish citizenship. That doesn’t help; I am still not used to the idea of Julbocken. The Christmas Goat.

Julbocken is known in two forms. The first being the large straw version that is built every year in the city of Gävle (he also come in smaller straw versions as Christmas decorations). Every year there is a race against time before it burns down. Turns out that an oversized straw goat is an inviting target for arsonists. If you’re interested, you can follow the Gävle Christmas Goat via live webcam.

There is also Julbocken on the Swedish island of Gotland. It is this Christmas Goat that I am most familiar with.

As a child I spent a couple of Christmases on the island of Gotland visiting cousins. This means that I wasn’t all that familiar with the Christmas traditions on the Swedish island. Instead of Jultomten, the Swedish Santa Claus, coming to the houses, Julbocken came. Julbocken is a large goat that brings presents to children. He is also the most frightening Christmas related character I can think of and could very well lead to nightmares.

It is said that Julbocken can trace its origins back to the Scandinavian myths of Thor and his goats. Whether that is true or not is irrelevant, because as a small child, goat-like creatures walking on their hind legs and about the size of my uncle meant I wasn’t thinking about the mythological origins of the Christmas tradition. Especially when out from the cold a large gray and black goat braying and neighing and making whatever goat noises imaginable bursts through the door. Despite having presents, it is a horrible experience the first time.

In case you are under the age of ten and reading this, please stop now. What I am about to say may crush your young childhood reality. Julbocken was my uncle. He is a good man. A kind man. But as Julbocken, he epitomized the fear that Thor’s goats were surely meant to impart on anyone willing to listen.

It’s been a while since I’ve seen Julbocken, today I try to stick to the small straw versions which I hang on my Christmas tree. It makes for a much better night’s sleep.