Comments:

1. 

    

   Letícia:

   Well, I’ve never been to Sweden, but from my experience meeting Swedes in person and online, I think I can tell they’re friendly yet reserved, and very polite. And I like that, probably because I live in a country where people are the exact opposite of what you described. I think being sociable is a good thing, but Brazilians can be way too sociable sometimes. I’m very quiet and kind of reserved and I often have strangers asking me if I’m like that all the time – you see, I stand out for being quiet, how weird is that? 🙂
   So, it’s not that I wish people here were less sociable, I just wish they were a bit more respectful of other people’s silence, especially if they’re strangers.

2. 

    

   davinia:

   I agree with Leticia, I am also for a latin Country (Mexico) and sometimes people here are way too friendly.

   On the other hand I´ve never been in Sweden but based on the Swedish people I´m friend with I rather the Swedish way; good maners, polite people (Also I´m sure the “tourist or living ” experience should be really different).

   I will say the Swedish way as reserved and discrete but in a nice polite way

3. 

    

   Emöke:

   Hej Jennie,

   Jag är här i Malmö (jag = en ungersk tjej) och har en åsikt :-)))

   O.k., let’s turn to English…I (=a Hungarian girl living in Malmö) would like to comment here, but I prefer tomorrow, as today I am busy. But I will come back, I promise!!!

4. 

    

   Angela B:

   I am an American with a Swedish boyfriend and when I go to Sweden it is like a tale of two countries. When I am out with my boyfriend, whom seems to know half of Skåne, Swedes are as friendly as can be. When I travel around on my own, however, it’s complete silence from anyone I don’t need to buy something from. It seemed curt to me at first but once I realized this is just the Swedish way, I got used to it. Only once did I ever meet an outgoing bus driver that struck up a conversation on my first trip.

5. 

    

   J. Eric:

   I am an American of Swedish ancestry. I have been to visit a cousin in Sweden twice and hope to visit again. Each time we visited we were treated as family. Even neighbors in the village knew we were coming and had prepared a meal for our family until our cousin returned home from business. I remember asking directions in Stockholm and rural Sweden and always getting a courteous response. From what I have seen around the world rural people are more friendly than city people. For that matter, as a third generation American, I exhibit a lot of those same characteristics you listed as being Swedish. But if Swedes are quiet or, to some, not friendly why has the history and culture in Sweden produced these characteristics? That is the question I would really like to know. Being still so much like them, I can’t criticize them. Sweden is a small country that casts a very long shadow around the world. Better to get to know these people than to prematurely judge them.

6. 

    

   Lena:

   When I visited Sweden, everyone included us in everything…parties, visiting friends, beach bar-b-ques. We found Swedish people to be very friendly. That’s why I am studying Swedish…so when I return I will be able to visit with Grandmother who baked a delicious chocolate jelly roll. I wanted to ask her about her flowers but could only smile and eat and say “Tack!”

7. 

    

   Erin:

   On a train from Goteborg to Oslo two years ago, a very lengthy announcement came overhead, by people’s reactions around us it was quite important. But when I tried to get someone’s attention to ask what the announcement was, because we don’t speak Swedish, it was as if we were invisible. Finally, a kind lady explained to us that the track ahead was broken and we needed to get off and take a certain bus… very important, but nobody volunteered the info to us Americans, even when we were trying to ask. Not rude, just… ignoring us, I guess.

   Or, on another trip, I was taking photos in a grocery store of the many, many varieties of milk and yogurt. I was very intrigued. But the Swede’s reaction to my actions was funny. I obviously was doing something odd, by the looks on their faces, but they would immediately look away and pretend they didn’t see me taking photos of milk. Whereas in America, someone would certainly make a comment or ask why we were doing that.

8. 

    

   Luke (Sydney):

   I worked with a Swedish girl in Australia years back. Aussies are not No. 1 easy going folks on this planet but probably not far off. But I found getting along with her easier. Aussies are warm but stay warm for a long loooong time. Swedes start cold but almost skipping the warm phase all together. Our friendship didn’t end well, but that’s entirely my fault ;<

9. 

    

   BM:

   The Swedish silence disappears in St. Tropez…

10. 

     

    Lizzy:

    I hitchhiked trough Sweden from Happaranda to Linkoping during the summer. It went pretty great, we stood along the road for approximately 1 hour before being picked up.. but sometimes there was not much traffic, so it was ok. Till Sundsvall we had a great time traveling along the coast (Bothnic), but then we decided to go to Ostersund, Mora and Falun. Bad decision. We waited for hours and hours and all we saw were big camper vans giving us the finger (literally!). Ok, those guys were usually from Norway, but still. My experience was that the people along the coast were more friendly and open minded.

    Once inside the car, we had not so many conversations, but people were really helpful. I must say as a hitchhiker I prefer deeds rather than words. And this is what the Swedes (especially up North) are good at. In Southern Europe people talked a lot more, but we were also treated very rude, while waiting for a hitch.

11. 

     

    Rachel:

    Hello
    I used to live in Sweden and experienced both sides. If I approached someone and asked for help in dodgy Swedish, I was always met with a big smile and happy to help attitude. If they heard my English accent they would even switch to English to be helpful which although was frustrating at times was also helpful when learning a new language.

    The friends I made in Sweden were slow to make but now I have these wonderful, thoughtful, respectful people in my life who I adore and know they will always be there.

    I found the weather also affects their moods as a nation and in Summer the whole city would burst alive where as in Winter everyone huddled away physically and mentally.

    I love the Swedes… you always know where you are with them. Forthright and straightforward people with hidden warm depths.

12. 

     

    Edina:

    I moved here during the summer, and through my boyfriend and his family I have familiarized with the way of the Swedes. And sometimes it’s not easy to live with that. With the silence and the importance of individualism.
    But if you keep in mind the golden rule which applies pretty much to people and life in Sweden (in my opinion) you will be able to understand and cope with people and life here easily.
    The golden rule is: “Minding my own business”.
    And if you keep that in mind you will be able to see and enjoy the way of the world up here. Just try not to look for the same things as in your homecountry. This is a different one, with a different culture.
    Do not try to compare it.
    Discover it and enjoy it if you can.

    This is what a Hungarian girl in Linköping tries to do.(yes, we are everywhere 🙂 )

13. 

     

    Karen Snowberg:

    I’ve been to Sweden 10 times, can speak just a little Swedish, and have had nothing but positive experiences interacting with Swedes. Whether meeting distant relatives for the first time or interacting with shopkeepers, I always have the feeling that people are very friendly and just can’t do enough to make my visit an enjoyable one. I love to rent a car and just make my way to more isolated areas to “explore” on my own, and I’ve always had terrific interaction with people. As a member of the Vasa Order (a Swedish-American fraternal organization), I’ve met many of our Swedish members and have been amazed at how willingly they have opened their homes to me. I’m a transplanted Midwesterner who now lives in the Metropolitan New York City area, so I know what you mean about people being reserved. Don’t try to joke around with a clerk at a store in the big city as they’ll look at you like you’re nuts or something. I’m by nature a friendly person and have been told I have a very friendly smile, so maybe that helps. But it fails to thaw the attitudes of the clerks I meet here in New York. Stockholm is a much friendlier city. Why do you think I’m so happy to keep returning to Sweden for my vacations when I could be exploring new countries? – KS

14. 

     

    Scott:

    Jennie,

    Your post brought back a few memories of my years in Sweden.

    I grew up in a ethnically- and culturally diverse city in the American South (meaning the South-eastern USA, or Dixieland), but I had never been to outside of the USA before I went to northern Sweden to work at a non-profit organization when I was about 24. The Swedes I worked with at the organization were nice and friendly, and I would say probably warmer and more friendly that typical, for one thing because they were mostly leftist/ hippie/ activist types, including some of the old folks. Perhaps not what we (where I am from) would call “out-going”, but friendly nonetheless.

    It turned out that I also made quite a few Chilean friends there, both at work and elsewhere. I suppose I had assumed at first that, as an American, I would have more in common with the Swedes than with the Chileans, but I soon very found began to feel that I had a lot more in common CULTURALLY with the Chileans than the Swedes, even though I didn’t speak Spanish and my Chilean friends didn’t speak English. No problem– we got along just fine with our bad Swedish!

    Hard to explain…just the feeling of being able to drop by each other’s house ‘whenever’ (and for no particular reason), and not worry about having to be “prepared” for a social visit– to just be adaptable to whatever happens (or tell people honestly if it happens to be an imposition at that particular time!). Of course, I have also make quite a few Swedish friend who are like that, too– but I wouldn’t call them ‘typical’ (as long as we are making sweeping generalizations).

    You mentioned the relative ease and openness with which people treat strangers (or people they do not know yet!) that is more typical of people in the USA and UK and other places.

    I’m not sure how they explain that behavior in the UK, but when they see that in the U.S., I have found that most Swedes and Germans are conditioned to say that it is because we are shallow and superficial, and that it is not genuine feeling.

    Funny thing, though, most of the Swedes and Germans I know who have spent a few years here in the South quickly become ‘acculturated’, and learn to communicate in a much more free and open way.

15. 

     

    Samantha:

    I have known a Swede for about 5 years now, and he is extremely outgoing, talks to everyone and wants to show everyone how ‘amazing’ he is. He considers himself ‘awesome’ with a very large ego. He also loves to talk about himself, anything he can tell about himself, he’s willing. Definitely different from the typical Swede.

16. 

     

    Emöke:

    O.k., so I am back 🙂

    Being a Hungarian, I agree with Edina that people here mind their business but when interacting with the most of Swedes they are very friendly and helpful. This seems to be contradictory, but it is not. And the cultural differences, yes, they also exist.

    Of course the biggest burden is the language, because if you don’t speak Swedish, you are handled as a tourist. Somebody asked me not long ago, what was the biggest culture shock for me here in Sweden. Without doubt it is the Swedish language. It takes long time to be able to speak the language and until then you feel like a child who is not really clever…and this feeling is not a pleasant one, I can tell. You don’t understand the various daily texts, the newspapers, the people speaking on the bus – not even the small talks, not speaking about the jokes…so you don’t laugh with your colleagues (it happened to me several times), so you feel deeply isolated, even they are nice and friendly otherwise.

    Once you understand the language AND can speak actively (this is very important, because understanding comes first, but you can’t really communicate with your passive “ordförråd”, words’ knowledge), you understand more and more from the cultural part and that helps a lot in everyday life. You start enjoying every aspect of the life and don’t struggle anymore when you need to buy bread, etc.

    So basically those people who don’t learn the language miss the biggest part of the Swedish experience. Yes, many foreigners think, that “you don’t need to talk Swedish when living in Sweden”, but my opinion is that if you want to stay longer that´n 1-2 years it is ESSENTIAL to learn Swedish as intensive as you can. Also, without Swedish you are not able to find a good job – only if you are really, really lucky.

    After 1,5 years I start feeling myself at home and now I don’t have any problems with the “Swedish style”. They are correct and fair people, so it is easy to live with them. I also love the way they think about human rights and equality.

    Did I answer the question? :-)))

17. 

     

    Darlene:

    I have been to Sweden twice now and I can say that, in my experience, the Swedes I met were quite willing to chat a bit but I was in Skåne (a bit different than the rest of Sweden) and I always began a conversation with an attempt på svenska. I often find this encourages a native speaker to want to practice their English, albeit without bravado. This is sometimes a little bit frustrating to me, since I really want to try out my Swedish! In general, in my travels I have found the Swedes to be some of the most friendly people.

18. 

     

    Samantha:

    I have had only good experiences with Swedes. They are more reserved from what I’ve seen, but they are also willing to let others not be, and that’s probably one of the best things I’ve seen. If I want to be wild and scandalous, my Swedish friends let me, and later, when I want to be quiet and thoughtful, they let me do that, too, without any comment and with the same cheerful acceptance.

    It probably helps that we meet in an American setting where they’re the curiosities, but I think that’s just how they are.

    ~:)

19. 

     

    Jennie:

    @all: Wow, thank you ever so much for all your brilliant and interesting inputs on thois topic! I have gathered all your comments including all the ones on facebook and will try to draw and present a conslution from it. “The truth about the Swede” 🙂

    Thanks again guys!
    /Jennie

20. 

     

    Majlis Hanson:

    Jennie:

    Don’t look at my name and think this is the comment from a Swede about swedes. That’s my daughter’s name by the way. I am borrowing her email today to send this opinion of mine. I can not be more foreigner, an Asian from Canada married to a Swede and have gone to Sweden once every 3, 4 years. Rest your mind, Swedes are awesome, even in-laws. I am serious. They are especially respectful, polite and very mild mannered. The thing I like the most is they don’t seem to criticize much, the way we constantly do here. They let you do whatever you want to and rarely make remarks about how people look or do things, regardless how outrageous the behaviors could be. “Oy yo yo yo yo…” is probably their most critical remarks. Before coming to Sweden and meeting them my husband had told me about how reserved the Swedes are -he is himself!To me nothing wrong of being reserved. People are different and what else we want if someone is peaceful, polite and so accepting? A little bubbly personality is nice but I have alos met some very outgoing Swedes as well ( the 2 ladies on the plane from Frankfurt to Goteborg a few summers back, who showed so much concerns and suggested I tried this and that when my young daughter was experiencing earache). Afterall, who wouldn’t love a peaceful people? and does it reflect on Sweden’s
    foreign policy, on principles of neutrality, I am wondering?

21. 

     

    Rik:

    I’m a bit late to the conversation. I’m from the UK and yes I find the same in Sweden but I don’t find the Swedish rude, just reserved. To be honest London is much the same. I grew up in London and I know I tend to ignore people unless spoken to first. Im not rude, it’s just I tend to leave people alone. In London I think people are aware of not wanting to be nosy. Saying that, once 1 person speaks and breaks the politeness then suddenly everyone is chatty. This could be at a bus stop or in a pub. If a tourist asks directions Im the first with my map out helping them find their way. And of course just like in Sweden once people are drunk then it’s much easier to chat. So all in all I dont think London is that different.

    I also find the Swedes in London are very chatty and friendly. Maybe that’s because they are outside of their own country?

    I like the fact when Im in Sweden people leave you alone. Ive never had the experience some people here have had where Im completely ignored.

22. 

     

    Jack Singer:

    Jennie, Your blog reminded me of the following story was told me by an old Finn from Boston who painted houses: A boat of Scandanavians shipwrecked on an island far from home. What do they do? Well, the Norwegians proceeded to cut down the trees and make lumber; the Danes built a house and some furniture. The Finns sat down under some trees and proceeded to get drunk. The Swedes…well, they stood around waiting to be introduced.

23. 

     

    c:

    I lived in Sweden for 3 months. Coming from California l.a. I had excitement and happiness to visit my bfs family n friends in hofors and hastbo. Worst 3 months of my life!! His family did not like he paid for my food McDonald’s and for amusement Parks(we shared cuz in Cali I paid all of his shit) and they acted nice to my face but after I left begged him to breakup cus I was not a blonde Swedish girl. I’m Asian. Also I did his parents dishes after fika they would purposely leave it out for me to wash n his mom would bitch if it wasn’t. I did their laundry, wiped their floors(his mom made me) and their bathroom sinks I washed. Felt like Cinderella cuz as a guest in their house didn’t expect sexes to be such fucking racists and mean! His friends were worse they nvr spoke to me n when I tried being friendly n inviting them for shopping they’d tell me no English and ignore me. The girls were especially worse cus there was one that liked my bf n was upset were together that she stalked my fb n asked him to see her n do stuff thru Skype or his friends since she didn’t want to get caught! When I confronted her this psycho Swede Told me they r friends and I’m Satan. She even wrote a blog about me. Sorry hunny but friends don’t Skype boob pictures and say I miss u baby come to my apt( I saw her texts). He ignores her n she wont stop…I left Sweden and idk if it was just hofors or if every Swedish has no respect for relationships & Asians! Sorry I cnt change I’m Asian American n not a Swedish girl but thas no excuse to treat a visitor like trash.