Suddenly everybody is becoming very conscious of properly washing your hands. You’d think that, until very recently, handwashing was an afterthought. Did people think those signs in public washrooms that read, “Employees MUST wash hands before returning to work!” did not apply to the rest of us? Folks are also hoarding toilet paper like they’ve never seen the stuff before, but that’s a discussion for another time.

We’ve been taught from age one to wash our hands often. But we can get lazy, making a quick rinse under a faucet seem sufficient. It isn’t, and never has been, but many of us can’t help feeling rushed. Or, at least, that was until the coronavirus intruded into our daily lives.

I don’t want to lecture, and won’t, but let me remind you of the proper method of washing your hands.

1. Moisten hands with water and then apply liquid soap.
2. Rub hands together, away from the flow of water, for 20 seconds.
3. Rinse hands under running water.
4. Dry hands with a clean, disposable paper towel. Ensure that there is no recontamination of the clean hands.
5. Turn off the faucet using a paper towel.
6. Throw the used paper towel into a hands-free trash can, preferably using the paper towel to open the door first.

The key to this admittedly ideal scenario is the 20 seconds it takes to thoroughly scrub the hands. You may ask yourself, “How do I know when 20 seconds is up?” The solution, of course, is to sing something that’s 20 seconds long.

Here are a few examples of song lyrics, most of them quite popular, that you can sing for precisely 20 seconds if you sing like the famous recorded versions. You may want to sing to yourself, but if you’ve got a good voice I say show it off!  However, this means no cheating! If I walk into a public restroom and hear you singing any of these songs like the recording is at high speed, I’m going to be very disappointed in you. Unless you add some dance moves, then you get extra points!

Seriously, though, please wash your hands!

 

Billy Joel, “Piano Man”

It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday

The regular crowd shuffles in

There’s an old man sitting next to me

Makin’ love to his tonic and gin

 

Judy Garland “Over the Rainbow”

Somewhere over the rainbow

Bluebirds fly

And the dreams that you dream of

Dreams really do come true

 

The Supremes, “Stop! In the Name of Love!”

Stop! In the name of love

Before you break my heart

Stop! In the name of love

Before you break my heart

Think it over

Think it over

 

“My Shot” from Hamilton

I am not throwing away my shot

I am not throwing away my shot

Hey yo, I’m just like my country

I’m young, scrappy, and hungry

And I’m not throwing away my shot

I’mma get scholarship to King’s College

I probably shouldn’t brag, but dag, I amaze and astonish

The problem is I got a lot of brains, but no polish

I gotta holler just to be heard

With every word, I drop knowledge

 

Abba, “Mamma Mia”

Mamma mia, here I go again

My my, how can I resist ya?

Mamma mia, does it show again,

My my, just how much I missed ya?

Yes I’ve been broken-hearted

Blue since the day we parted

Why why, did I ever let you go?

 

Of course, if you insist on singing quickly, there is one song that runs a cool 20 seconds at a brisk pace. And, it will help teach your kids (and you) the English alphabet!