Hello, there!

Hoje é segunda-feira e vamos começar a semana com um pouco de humor em inglês. Abaixo você tem dois pequenos textos humorísticos com a tradução das palavras e expressões mais difíceis, ok?

Are you ready? Let’s go for it!

1. Saddest story ever!

Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75-story skyscraper.

After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.

Bill said to Jim and Scott, “Let’s break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I’ll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way.”

At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell sad stories.

“I will tell my saddest story first,” he said. “I left the room key in the car!”

to share – compartilhar, dividir
75-story – (edifício) de 75 andares
flights of stairs – lances de escada
unpleasant task -tarefa desagradável
tell jokes – contar piadas

2. Somebody Under it

Shakey went to a psychiatrist. “Doc,” he said, “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there’s somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there’s somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under. You gotta help me, I’m going crazy!”

“Just put yourself in my hands for two years,” said the shrink. “Come to me three times a week, and I’ll cure your fears.”

“How much do you charge?”

“A hundred dollars per visit.”

“I’ll sleep on it,” said Shakey.

Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. “Why didn’t you ever come to see me again?” asked the psychiatrist.

“For a hundred buck’s a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars.”

“Is that so! How?”

“He told me to cut the legs off the bed!”

get into bed – deitar-se
you gotta – você tem que
go crazy – ficar louco
shrink – psicólogo, psiquiatra
charge – cobrar
I’ll sleep on it. – Vou pensar no caso.
bucks – dólares
Is that so! – Ah é?