Every now and then I see avvisi (warning signs or notices) that make me smile. Some of these are meant to be serious, and end up sounding ridiculous. But I particularly admire those which use irony and humour to combat antisocial or criminal behaviour.

Here, for your entertainment, is a small selection:

Above: A super polite notice that I found in a Ligurian village: Dogs must be kept on a lead and their relative excreta must be collected.

Well … I think that just about covers all the main points!!! … a monumental ‘health and safety’ sign that we encountered in Umbria which completely blocked the pavement, forcing us to walk down the middle of the road (super safe!)

On the beach (N.B. Italian beaches are plagued by immigrants trying to sell knick knacks to holiday makers): To the ‘travelling salesmen’, I’m on holiday, I don’t need anything!!! Therefore don’t break my dick! To the Gentlemen Thieves, there’s no money in my bag!!! “Let me sleep”

To the left: Does life after death exist? Jump over the gate and find out! On the right: Whoever enters without permission will be shot. Whoever survives will be shot again.

To the bicycle thieves: To whoever stole my bike: That which you rest upon the saddle I’ll make whither within 48 hours!

A warning to dog owners: Oh you human who lets your dog shit in front of my garage, TREMBLE WITH FEAR! Because when I discover where you live, I’ll rent an ELEPHANT and I’ll come and return the favour! Happy holidays!

A generous offer to thieves: Take it and go and have a beer. And in the meantime reflect upon whether you really want to risk coming into my house.

For the thieves: The keys are under the mat. Don’t make a mess, thank you ..

Notice for the THIEVES In the last 6 months you have been here 3 times, now I’ve got nothing left to take. Avoid breaking my doors and windows. Thanks you for your collaboration!!!!

Notice seen in the window of a pizzeria: Dear Messrs THIEVES, if you believe that you’ll find money or objects that could improve the quality of your life, something that we doubt, kindly try the back door … (we’re fed up with fixing the front one)

Vi auguro una buona giornata cari lettori!