A while ago I wrote an article entitled I Would Like in which I discussed how to use the conditional of the verb piacere (to please). If you feel you need to revise the use of piacere, I suggest that you read this blog.

Now, if you feel fairly comfortable using ‘I like’ and ‘I would like’, let’s move on to today’s slightly more abstract subject: ‘I would have liked’. This construction consists of the present conditional of essere, i.e. sarebbe (third person singular) or sarebbero (third person plural) plus the past participle of the verb piacere with the appropriate masculine/feminine, singular/plural ending: i.e. piaciuto/a/i/e. We’re going to explore this construction through some practical examples. But first let me tell you how I learnt to use it.

“Now … how on earth do I say ‘I would have liked’ in Italian?”  Photo: (CC) Steven Straiton

Serena and I were at an exhibition of work by Marc Chagall in Pisa many years ago. I remember that it was one of a series of touring exhibitions of so called ‘work’ by famous artists designed to attract tourists that turned out to be a bit of a con, as all of the ‘works of art’ were actually just prints. Feeling ripped off, I puzzled over how to say to the curator “I would have liked to have seen some real paintings!” in Italian, but after 10 minutes of brain frazzling I just couldn’t come up with a plausible construction. So I gave up and asked Serena “How on earth do I say ‘I would have liked’ in Italian?” The answer seemed somewhat bizarre to me at the time: mi sarebbe piaciuto = to me it would be pleased … what the devil! Yes, strange but true! In fact so strange did it seem to my poor English brain that it stuck there due to its outlandish novelty.

And now for some more examples:

“allora … mi sarebbero piaciute delle banane!” (so … I would have liked some bananas!) Photo: (CC) by Philip Kromer

1. Una visita a Modena mancata = A missed visit to Modena
Ieri mi sarebbe piaciuto andare a Modena, ma non c’era tempo = I would have liked to have gone to Modena yesterday, but there wasn’t time
Cosa ti sarebbe piaciuto fare a Modena? = what would you have liked to have done in Modena?
Mi sarebbero piaciute due cose: visitare una distilleria di Aceto Balsamico e poi vedere il museo Ferrari = I would have liked to have done two things: visit a balsamic vinegar distillery and then see the Ferrari museum
Invece a Francesca cosa sarebbe piaciuto fare? = what would Francesca have liked to have done on the other hand?
Mi ha detto che le sarebbe piaciuto andare a trovare una vecchia amica che abita lì = she told me that she would have liked to have gone to visit an old friend who lives there
Peccato che non c’era tempo … magari la prossima volta = what a shame there wasn’t time … perhaps the next time

2. Al ristorante (non molto ben fornito) = At the (not very well stocked) restaurant
Allora, cosa ti va? So, what do you fancy?
A me sarebbero piaciute le lasagne, ma dicono che oggi non ci sono, quindi prendo gli spaghetti = I would have liked the Lasagne, but they say that there isn’t any today, so I’ll have the Spaghetti
A me invece sarebbero piaciuti i tortellini ai funghi, ma anche quelli non ci sono oggi … quindi, dai, anch’io prendo gli spaghetti = I, on the other hand, would have liked the tortellini with mushrooms, but there aren’t any of those today either … so, okay, I’ll have the spaghetti as well

“Cosa, non avete neanche le banane! Ma che ristorante di M**DA!” (What, you haven’t even got any bananas! What a SH**TY restaurant!) Photo (CC) by Tambako The Jaguar

3. All’hotel low cost in Marocco = At the low cost hotel in Morocco
Cavolo, mi sarebbe piaciuto farmi una bella doccia, ma non funziona, esce solo la sabbia! = damn, I would have liked to have had a nice shower, but it doesn’t work, nothing comes out but sand!
A me invece sarebbe piaciuto fare un bagno in piscina, ma anche la piscina è piena di sabbia! = I, on the other hand, would have liked to have had a nice dip in the pool, but the pool is full of sand as well!
Allora cosa vuoi fare? = So, what do you want to do?
Insomma … mi piacerebbe picchiare quel deficiente del tour operator! = Well, I’d like to beat that moronic tour operator! (N.B. this sentence uses the normal conditional of piacere, see this blog)