A while back Sue Wilson left this comment, but due to my computer troubles (which, thankfully, are over now as I’m a proud owner of a brand new MacBook) I only managed to see it last weekend. I’m sorry Sue!
I thought that Sue’s question was interesting, and actually, because she is not the only one confused about this –ski/-ska issue when it comes to Polish surnames, I thought it would be good to share her comment here on the blog. I hope you don’t mind, Sue.
Here it is:
Is it common practice for a married woman whose husband’s surname is Kaliszewski to be Kaliszewska? My mother in law stuck with -ski yet addresses cards to her grand-daughters as -ska. Is the -ska only for single women or can married women use that form too?
I’m recently married to a Kaliszewski & as I am wife number 2 I’d quite like to use -ska to differentiate myself from wife number 1 who is Mrs K-ski. But obviously would not want to use -ska if that is associated with single women! I do appreciate the chaos that i will have by having a surname different to my wedding certificate but I’d quite like to follow Polish tradition with the feminisation of my surname if that is ok for married women to use!!
Many thanks!
Now onto my answer.
The endings –ski and –ska have absolutely nothing to do with one’s marital status, but with the gender of the person.
So, a –ski IN POLAND is always a male, and a –ska – a female.
As I’m sure you’ve noticed I emphasized the “IN POLAND” bit, because it is important. Things work a little bit differently in other countries.
In the US (and other English speaking countries), a woman who takes her husband’s name after marriage takes HIS surname with no allowances made for her gender.
So, if you marry a guy named Kaliszewski, you, as a wife, become Kaliszewski, too. Now, if it were in Poland, you’d be Kaliszewska, because last names ending in –ski follow Polish rules similar to adjectives.
If you are determined to be a Kaliszewska in the US, I think the only way to accomplish it would be through a legal name change – from Kaliszewski to Kaliszewska.
Does it make sense?
I’m sure that Barb in Canada, who also has a masculine version of a Polish last name, can add her trzy grosze on this subject.
Comments:
Mchl:
Same rule applies for surnames ending with -cki (Kaszucki, Kaszucka), -dzki (Rudzki, Rudzka). Some other names also differentiate between male and female forms, but the rules are not so obvious and often include personal preferences.
As for single (or perhaps we should say unmarried) women, there is a traditional ending -ówna (like in Wałęsówna). It is however rarely used nowadays (partly because it is quite difficult, maybe even impossible, to apply it correctly to certain surnames – just try with Kaliszewski).
Last but not least, there are regionalisms. In the area where my grand-parents live, a wife of Mr.Kowal would be called Mrs.Kowalina (although in her ID and all official documents she’d still be Mrs.Kowal).
Homework: What’s the surname of Mrs.Goździkowa’s husband? 😀
Mary:
I recently Married a Polish man in England. In the UK normally the wife would take the name of her husband but I recently discovered that In the UK, when you get married, you can choose your married name either by taking your husband’s (or wife’s) name, hyphenating your name (Mrs Jones-Smith) or if you want, taking some other form of name.
Your marriage certificate doesn’t say your new name so when you change your name and provide your new name for ID documents, you state your new name.
There is no official name change in the UK.
So when I changed my name, I have to explain in all of my letters that I am Kucharska and the reason why.
It took a while to figure this out because my husband was convinced that we had to go to the registry and declare it and you don’t. You can in effect, call yourself what you want!
basia:
Hi All:
Yes, as Anna intimated my surname is a masculine form of -cki, not by marriage but by birth. I was in Poland recently and was setting in motion the steps required to get my confirmation of Polish citizenship. One of the steps required is to register my foreign birth with the appropriate Urzad. When I presented the necessary documentation (long form Canadian birth certificate and certified Polish translation) I asked the clerk whether my name would continue as the masculinized version of my surname or whether official Polish documentation would have the feminine version -cka. She looked at me as if I were crazy and retorted that the masculine version would stand on all Polish documentation. I was a little crestfallen, I thought it would be nice to have the gender appropriate version of my name on my Polish documents. Oh well.
Kuba:
Basia,
YOu should have had your name legally changed before you got you citizenship then it would have been correct.
thomas westcott:
Cześć Anna,
Sometimes when one is having a multi-language conversation one needs to retain a little humor. Some word sounds can very easily be confused with a word in the other language.
For instance: my surname which is Westcott and means West of Scotland does sound like a Polish word. – Well . . . when my wife called out Westcottki, I thought she was making me an honorary Polish person. I laughed and called her Westcottka. Come to find out she was complaining slightly because she had said ‘łaskotki’.
So, if I address her as Westcottka she will duck out of the way because she thinks that I’ll tickle her (again).
thomas westcott:
Oh! and by the way, In English we would say your two cents worth for one’s opinion. Are Polish or Canadian thoughts more expensive? 🙂
crystal:
Hello, I’m having trouble with this surname issue. I’m a Filipina married to a Polish who have Grajewski surname, as you think, i will be Grajewska, and yes, i use Grajewska to get all my documents, but when I’m getting passport the DFA insist i use Grajewski because its my husband surname and it’s the rule here in Philippine. Now I’m worried that i will have future trouble with this, when i have Grajewska all documents except in passport. What shall i do?? :'(
Please help me.
George:
There is another issue, that, perhaps, wasn’t considered here ..
What will happen to the sons of women sticking to the female forms of the last name?
Here is a little example: http://www.whitepages.com/name/Neil-Novicka/FL
George:
I was under the impression and believe the ski and ska endings pertain to marriage. If a man’s name ends with ski, the wife’s name will end in ska, but the man’s daughter will still be ski. Ska I believe is just the designated name ending for the wife.