TGIF! Are you ready for выходные (weekend)? But first, if you are curious, Thanks God It’s Friday translates into Russian as слава богу, уже пятница. (The poster above explains that nighttime is not the reason to stop work)
How was your work week? Are you устал, как собака (dog-tired)? It’s probably because you пахал, как лошадь (lit: plowed like a horse; worked hard) or ишачил (lit: worked hard like ишак (donkey)). It’s now time передохнуть (to take a break) and расслабиться (to chill), maybe even with a bottle of пиво (beer), all the while learning new Russian words.

As they say, люди могут подолгу смотреть на огонь, воду и как другие работают (people can spend a long time looking at fire, water and other people working). Since the subject of work can be so завораживающий (fascinating), let’s talk about work.

What does Russian folk wisdom teaches us about work? To begin with, it encourages you to procrastinate. The most well-known saying is работа не волк, в лес не убежит (work is not a wolf, it won’t run into a forest). It is followed pretty closely by если хочешь поработать, ляг, поспи и всё пройдёт (if you want to do some work, lay down, nap and it will pass). Sure, there is the annoying не оставляй на завтра то, что можно сделать сегодня (don’t leave for tomorrow what can be done today). But even this maxim for паинька (goody two-shoes) has been improved upon – не оставляй на завтра то, что можно сделать послезавтра (don’t leave for tomorrow what can be done the day after tomorrow).

In case you are so целеустремлённый (motivated) to get the job done that you are ready to start, remember не начавши – думай, а начавши – делай (think before you start, but once you get started, get it done). Of course, since дурень думкой богатеет (a fool gets richer just by thinking about it), you are best off jumping right in, don’t you? Except, of course, поспешишь – людей насмешишь (haste makes waste) which would only work out if you work as клоун (a clown) or комик (a comedian).

Ironically, with so much controversial advice, Russians are a hardworking people. After all, every Russian child knows that сделал дело – гуляй смело (lit: when work is done, go have fun; business before pleasure). Besides, as we all know so well птицу узнают в полёте, а человека в работе (a bird is recognized by its flight, a person – by his work). Plus, even though not all work is fun, без труда не выловишь и рыбку из пруда (without work one can’t even get a fish out of a pond).

Of  course, if you do work, you are bound to make mistakes or miss deadlines. If that’s the case, here are some handy phrases to insert at the bottom of your next progress report (in 6pt or smaller, unless you want to быть уволен (get fired)):

About a missed deadline

Скоро сказка сказывается, да не скоро дело делается (lit: tales are quickly spun, deeds are sooner said than done)

About being given too much work

Семь дел в одни руки не берут (can’t hold seven things with one pair of hands)

About a mistake in your previous report

Не боги горшки обжигают (lit: it’s not gods who make pots) and конь о четырёх ногах, да спотыкается (lit: a horse has four legs and still stumbles)

And, in case you are in management, here are a couple of great sayings to add to your electronic signature come Monday morning (use 18pt or larger and bold it).

When reading a progress report

Не говори, что делал, а говори, что сделал (Don’t tell what you have been doing, tell what you have done)

When needing to “crack the whip”

Без дела слабеет сила (without work force weakens) – this sounds vaguely Obi-Wan Kenobi-ish.

When trying to motivate

For corporate setting – Как поработаешь, так и заработаешь (as you work, so you shall be paid)

For a hip start-up – как потопаешь, так и полопаешь (as you sow, so shall you reap) – [hope this answers your question, Jeannie]

In general, if you must work, work, but keep in mind that although труд из обезьяны сделал человека (work transformed a primate into a human being) от работы кони дохнут (horses die from work).