If you are wondering about the title of this post, it refers to the “Or the Puppy Gets It” meme. What can be cuter or more helpless than a puppy, right? What kind of a heartless scoundrel would punish a puppy for anything at all, especially for something totally unrelated! Right? Right…

Except yesterday Vladimir Putin announced his support for the foreign adoptions ban. Some words and phrases immediately came to mind, but most of them had to be filtered out because they are непечатные (unfit to print, curse words). Of what remained, I put together a little glossary that describes the Russia’s foreign adoptions ban as it is – a crime against the most vulnerable and least able to defend themselves members of the Russian society.

Дети – цветы жизни (Children are the flowers of life) – this popular catch phrase appears in the beloved and continuously relevant novel Двенадцать стульев (Twelve Chairs) by Ilya Ilf and Evgeniy Petrov. In one of the scenes the charismatic con-man raises money for an overthrow of the Soviets, but disguises it as a campaign to “help the orphans”. Looks like the precedent (although literary) to using helpless kids as a cover for a dishonest scheme was established back in 1927. Although, in stark contrast to the “anti-Magnitsky law” and President Putin’s promises, the con-man honestly admits that although лучшие времена скоро наступят (better times are not far away) к беспризорным детям это не относится (it does not apply to the orphans) he supposedly represents.

Собака на сене (A dog in a manger) – both a title of an old Soviet musical comedy and a catch phase with the same meaning as и сам не ам и другому не дам (lit: won’t eat it myself, yet won’t give it away to others). The proverbial dog sits on the hay in a manger and while not eating the hay, does not allow any other animal have any. Russian government is well aware of the fact many children adopted by foreigners are the ones Russians are unwilling to adopt. More than that, the number of so-called in-country adoptions by Russian citizens has been falling steadily since 2007. Yet the Russian government seems to be choosing the policy of собака на сене.

Вторичное сиротство (secondary orphancy) – a situation when an adopted child is returned to an orphanage for whatever reason.  The most highly publicized case of the secondary orphancy is that of Artyem Saveliev. It is also the only case of secondary orphancy by foreign adoptive parents that year. That same year, 8473 children adopted into Russian families were returned to their orphanages. Yet we don’t get to hear about any of these cases.

Я тебя породил, я тебя и убью (I gave you birth and I will kill you) – one of the most famous phrases from the Nikolai Gogol’s novella Тарас Бульба (Taras Bulba). With these words, the old Cossack Taras kills his son, Andriy, for his betrayal. The phrase is used, jokingly, to assert rights of parents over how to bring up their children. Another “life imitating art” situation since many Russian orphans that requiring special care and treatment will no longer have any hope of accessing it because of the foreign adoptions ban. For some of these disabled children, the inability to be adopted outside of the country means nothing less than death.

Где родился, там и пригодился (There’s a use for you where you were born) – a saying that some anti-adoption advocates use to explain why Russian orphans must stay in Russia. Needless to say, the archaic saying puts the interests of the state ahead of the interests of a child. Yet children are individuals with rights, not just the country’s генофонд (genetic resource).

Не та мать, что родила, а та, что вырастила (A mother is not the one who gave birth, but the one who raised a child) – this is a well-known Russian saying. Turns out, some conspiracy theorists view it as a proof positive that Russian children raised by foreigners will be willing to one day fight against their Motherland and thus should not be allowed to leave the country (even if it means they have greater chances of dying). Unlike the Russian officials, even these fringe lunatics seem to realize that most Russian children adopted to foreign families receive love and care that far surpasses anything that they could hope for even at the best orphanage anywhere in the world.

Подлец (scoundrel) – originally the word подлый was used to describe  a person of lowly standing. From this the word’s meaning changed to describe someone of low moral standing, for example someone who uses children as a human shield. Another possible origin is in the word лить (to pour) and connects подлец to an old Russian winter-time execution (see Мерзавец)

Мерзавец (scoundrel) – this word was originally used to describe a criminal who замёрз на смерть (froze to death) as a result of a peculiar winter-time execution that involved pouring cold water over one’s body. From there, мерзавец became a word to call a cold-hearted, indifferent, cruel person, such as someone who takes all hope away from helpless children.

Сволочь (scoundrel) – the third word for “scoundrel” seems to be closely connected to the first two. Originally, сволочь was the person who волок (dragged away) the frozen to death мерзавец after подлец did his job. Someone who uses children as pawns can be described as сволочь. By the way, this is the most offensive of the three words for “scoundrel”.

Семья – ячейка общества (Family is the building block of the society) – a popular Soviet-era slogan. Notice how a family is not defined as “a Russian man and a Russian woman residing in Russia”. It is interesting that, although all of the present-day Russian officials were raised on this slogan, none seem to remember it.

В своём глазу бревна не видит (Doesn’t see a log in his own eye) – Biblical proverb that seems to be constantly ignored by Russian officials every time they raise public outcry over a (very rare) case of abuse of a Russian adopted child by his adoptive foreign family. At the same time, the authorities continue to turn the blind eye to thousands of cases of abuse and death of Russian orphans adopted into Russian families.

Честь мундира (esprit de corp) – it is a well-known fact (acknowledged even by Russian politicians) that the recent anti-adoption ban was a direct retaliation for the Magnitsky Act. The Magnitsky Act is viewed by some as an attempt by foreign governments, particularly the US government, to exert influence over Russia’s internal affairs. Conspiracy theorists view it as yet another attempt to поставить Россию на колени (to bring Russia to its knees) or унизить (disparage, debase) the country. Therefore, some welcome the ban as a way to save the national честь мундира.

Судьба человека (Fate of a Man) – an old Soviet movie in which a hero, returning from the war and finding out that his entire family perished, is moved to adopt an orphaned boy. Seems like concerns over судьба человека are something outside of the scope the politicians who voted in favor of such a судьбоносный (fateful) law as the foreign adoptions ban.

Сердцу не прикажешь (You can’t give orders to one’s heart) – one of the most popular Russian sayings about love, compassion, and tolerance. Some people on both sides of the Atlantic point out that the anti-adoption ban is a win-win since, as a result, Russians will have to adopt more Russian children and Americans will have to adopt more American children. However, as anyone who ever adopted or tried to adopt, can tell, it’s not all about logic, just like true love is supposed to be.  As it stands, for many families in the process of adopting a child from Russia, this ban разбивает сердца (breaks hearts).

Unfortunately, it looks like this time the pure cold-hearted greed, unfounded paranoia, the desire to create an external enemy where there is none, and possibly the unprecedented lack of compassion of those in power won. And the puppy gets it again.