http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXbALs4f7cA

We all procrastinate from time to time. Some (and I’m pointing a finger at myself right now) do it more than others. If you love Russian and happen to procrastinate even ocassionally, then why not do it in Russian? That’s what total immersion is all about, isn’t it? But let me not delay this post any longer…

How to  «мешкать» [procrastinate] Russian-style? «Вот такой вопрос я задала себе недавно» [That’s the question I asked myself recently]. Typically, if I have a «насущный вопрос» [burning question], I turn to Facebook. But this time, I was in a car, away from my trusty «лаптопчик» [laptop, but notice the diminutive form, lit.: little laptop]. And since I am a bit of a Luddite when it comes to «смартфоны» [smartphones], I can’t browse Internet or even send SMS from my «мобильник» [mobile phone].

So there I was, thinking things through on this issue… «С литературной точки зрения» [From the literary standpoint], the answer seems to be rather obvious. On one hand, there’s an example of «Илья Муромец» [Ilya Murometz]. One of the main heroes of the Russian folk tales who, apparently, «воплощает» [personifies] the ideal Russian warrior, Ilia spent the first 33 years of his life sitting on his behind, not moving much.

Then there’s «Илья Обломов» [Ilia Oblomov] from «одноименный роман» [novel of the same name]. He famously spent most of the book lying down on a couch, dreaming of a different life.

I can also get inspired by various «пословицы» [proverbs], «поговорки» [adages], and «крылатые слова» [catch phrases] that deal with work or, rather, avoidance of it.

To begin with, the word “procrastinate” itself has several translations. I already mentioned «мешкать» [to linger]:

«Надо бы работу искать, а я всё мешкаю, всё надеюсь выиграть в лотерею.» [It’s time to look for a job, but I keep lingering, hoping to win a lottery.]

In other words, I can say that «я медлю с поиском работы» [I am moving slowly with my job search], using the verb «медлить» [to go slow, to drag out]. The opposite of that would be to do something «без промедления» [without delay] or «немедленно» [immediately].

When a boss tells you «не откладывать в долгий ящик» [to not file it for later] or when your significant other begs you to «не тянуть резину» [to not drag feet], you know that «промедление – смерти подобно» [procrastination is tantamount to death], or at least to getting fired or ending up sleeping on a couch in the living room.

If you are brave or foolish or looking to conduct hands-on cultural research, try replying to the request for immediate action with «работа не волк, в лес не убежит» [lit: work is not a wolf, it won’t run away] or even some self-help advice «если хочешь поработать, ляг, поспи и всё пройдёт» [if you’d like to do some work, take a nap and it will pass]. Let me know how it goes.

And yet, «отсрочка» [postponement] happens all the time and doesn’t always mean a bad thing. For example, «Вася был рад, когда получил отсрочку по службе» [Vasya was happy when his mandatory military service obligation was postponed.] Another type of «отсрочка» that can feel like a life line is «отсрочка по кредиту» [deferment of debt obligations] and «отсрочка по уплате налогов» [tax deferment].

Ok, remember how I said that one of the ways you can procrastinate in Russian is by «тянуть резину»? [lit. pull rubber]. Well, you can also «тянуть канитель» [to stall, lit. to pull thin golden thread]. If you speak Spanish or French, you doubtlessly recognized the word «канитель» [spun gold] (cañatillo in Spanish and cannetille in French).

While «тянуть канитель» or «канителиться» means to stall, to procrastinate, the word «канитель» itself means “humdrum”, but a rather busy humdrum. For example, «я хотела купить книгу, но канителиться в очереди у кассы не хотелось» [I wanted to buy a book, but didn’t care to waste time in line for the register]. «Канительщик» (masculine) and «канительщица» [feminine] are procrastinators.

In addition to rubber and spun gold you can also «тянуть волынку» [take one’s sweet time]. «Волынка» means bagpipes and if you ever heard one, then I bet you understand the expression on a whole different level. Someone who «тянет волынку» is said to be «волынщик» [procrastinator], just as someone who «тянет резину» is «резинщик».

How do you prefer to procrastinate? Are you procrastinating right now? I know I am.