One of the blog readers, David, left a comment on the previous post that included a short translation. Now, this translation was done by David and other members of кружок «Журавли» (the Zhuravli group), first using Google Translation (Welsh into Russian). The members of the group then worked on improving the results produced by Google.

David posted the entire translation in the comments asking for suggestions on how to improve it. Here’s what they came up with (the original translation is in italics):

У двери (At the front door)

Он: Добрый вечер, я продаю щётки. Вы хотите купить щётку?

Typically a question like this would use a negative не – Не хотите ли Вы купить щётку? (Wouldn’t you like to buy a brush?

Она. Привет! входите! Да, я хочу щётку! Щётки хорошо очищают?

Russians can seem sticklers for formalities, i.e. co-workers calling each other by имя отчество (first name and patronymic) even after years of working together. Same is with greetings. Привет is very informal and would not be used in this case. It’s always a safe bet to match the level of formality to the one afforded to you by your Russian counterpart. In this case, Здравствуйте (how do you do) or Добрый день (Good afternoon) are appropriate.

Да, мне бы хотелось щётку. I’m not sure why Russians use this construct мне бы хотелось instead of я хочу in polite adult conversations. Maybe the direct я хочу is seen as нескромный (immodest) or слишком скоропалительный (overly hasty) of an answer. There are, of course, situations when я хочу is entirely appropriate: Я хочу быть с тобой (I want to be with you), Я хочу тебе сказать, что так дело не пойдёт (I want to tell you that it won’t work this way), etc.

Should we use чистят or очищают in this case? This is a tough one. Ok, the correct answer is чистят since that’s what щётки (brushes) do in Russian. For example, зубная щётка чистит зубы (toothbrush brushes teeth), etc. The difficulty I have here is explaining the exact rules (if any) for when to use чистить (to clean) and when to use очищать (to clean, to cleanse, to clear). I’d say that you should use the former when speaking about cleaning in general and the latter when speaking about cleaning from something – очищать от снега (clean from snow), очищать кожуру (peel rind off), etc. When in doubt, go with эти щётки хорошо работают? (do these brushes work well?)

В гостиной (In the living room):

Он. Конечно! Эта щётка очень хорошо очищает ковёр. Посмотрите!

Она. О, я люблю эту щётку. Продаете ли вы щётку к лестнице?

Once again, I suggest correcting the sentence about the brush. It should either be Эта щётка очень хорошо чистит ковёр (This brush cleans carpet very well) or Эта щётка очень хорошо очищает ковёр от кошачей шерсти, пепла и деталек Лего (This brush is very good for cleaning carpet from cat hair, ashes and Lego parts).

Любить (to love) is too strong of a word for such a thing as a brush, especially considering that the lady of the house just got to know the brush (ok, maybe it is love at first sight). Unless the house owner is a drama queen, she might consider using a more reserved Да, мне нравится эта щётка (Yes, I do like this brush).

At this point I started to suspect that the brush is really насадка для пылесоса (an attachment for a vacuum cleaner). If it is so, then the word is пылесосить (to vacuum) and the corresponding noun is пылесосенье (vacuuming), although I don’t hear the word much at all.  So instead I’d say продаёте ли Вы насадку для того, чтобы пылесосить на лестнице (Do you sell an attachment for vacuuming stairs).

На лестнице (On the stairs):

Он. Да, конечно, этот пылесос делает работу хорошо. Посмотрите!

Она. Он прекрасно. Я хочу купить щётку и пылесос. Вы продаете щётку за спальню?

I know, in English speakers say something or someone is doing a great job at whatever… But in Russian we just say Он/она/оно хорошо работает (He/she/it works well).

Это прекрасно (This is wonderful). Вы продаёте насадку для уборки в спальне (Do you sell an attachment for cleaning a bedroom)? This is very confusing to me mostly because I’m not sure what kind of attachment they talk about that “cleans bedrooms”. Maybe she meant для чистки матрасов (for cleaning mattresses)?

В спальне (In the bedroom):

This is starting to unfold in an unexpected direction… What kind of book is it where a door-to-door salesman is taking into the bedroom?

Он. Да, Я продаю все. Это мыло очищает хорошо.

Она. Мне повезло! А сейчас я устала – Мы упорно трудились. Давайте положимся в постель.

Wow, I was on the right track!

Это мыло хорошо отмывает пятна крови (This soap cleans/removes blood stains very well). Or этим мылом хорошо мыть руки, оно смягчает кожу (This soap is good for washing hands; it softens the skin)

Упорно трудились (worked hard) is a good phrase, but in the context I’d use хорошо поработали (worked well) since it looks like most work is still ahead for these two.

Давай-ка в постель (Let’s get in bed) – First, I think it’s time to switch to an informal ты (you). Second, ложись в постель (go to bed) sounds very much like a mother talking to a child or a wife sending her под шофе (drunk) husband to bed. Let’s skip a verb here entirely.

В кровати (In bed):

Он. Я тоже устал сейчас. В постели тепло, и вы те…

Она. Эй! Я слышу машина придет.Муж приходит – я иду к окну, чтобы посмотреть.

This is SOOO FUNNY! He better not start by saying how tired he is. But since that’s what he said, he better say it right: Я тоже устал (I am also tired).

В спальне (In the bedroom)

Она. О, черт. Машина при доме. Вставайте! Встаньте с кровати. Где одежда? Черт, одежда не по кровати, что мы можем делать? Куда вы можете обратиться?

So dramatic! I’d add lots of восклицательные знаки (exclamation points) and drop the Вы (formal you) entirely. Машина у дома!

Одежда не на кровати (The clothes are not on the bed) or Одежда не под кроватью (The clothes are not under the bed). Что делать? (What to do?) The nice (or not so nice) thing about Russian language is that a sentence can be grammatically correct and well understood even if it doesn’t have a subject or a verb or an object. But if you want to use “we”, then Что нам делать (What should we do) is the way to go. Где ты можешь спрятаться? (Where can you hide?)

Он. У меня есть идея. Я спрячусь в шкаф. Надейте это пальто.

Она. Спрячьтесь быстро. Муж ждет у двери. Я собираюсь ответить на дверь сейчас. До свидания!

Is he telling her to put a coat on? Like that wouldn’t be a dead giveaway! Still, let him say надень это пальто! (put this coat on). Or maybe he is going to put the coat on himself? Then it’s надену это пальто (I’ll put this coat on). I’m impressed with the proper use of надеть as opposed to одеть!

She is going to either ответить на звонок (answer the ring, usually this means answer the phone) or открыть дверь (open the door). She is such a lady too, remembers her manners with a formal до свидания (goodbye) instead of just whispering тихо! (quiet here)

У двери (At the front door):

Она. Привет, Дай? Ты рано. Очень приятно – сейчас готовлю обед. Перейти в магазин, чтобы покупать газету.

Дай. У меня есть газета в сумке Шан. Но я устал. Положусь спать сейчас.

I guess she’s trying to get the hubby out of the house with сходи, пожалуйста, в магазин за газетой (please run to a store for a newspaper). Or she might say сходи в магазин, купи газету (run to a store to buy a newspaper). But why not buy a paper at a nearby ларёк (kiosk)?

A common problems in learning Russian is figuring out when to not use “to be” (for Russian learners it’s just the opposite – they have to keep in mind to always use a form of “to be”). So in this case, it is газета у меня в сумке (the paper is in my bag) and no verb is necessary.

The unsuspecting рогоносец (cuckold) is tired, so he says я устал, пойду спать (I’m tired and heading off to bed)…

What’s the rest of the story? It reminds me of a joke where the husband opens the closet and sees the lover wrapped up in the wife’s пальто (coat). The dialogue goes this way:

Husband: Ты кто такой (Who are you?)

Lover: Я – большая моль. Ялечу домой (I am a large moth. I am flying home)

Husband: А пальто зачем? (Why are you taking the coat?)

Lover: По дороге доем (I’ll eat it on the way)

What do you think? I think David’s group has found a fantastically entertaining textbook!

Seriously, this is a great exercise – to have a paragraph translated with Google Translate (or another automated translation software) and then try to make it more readable. If that’s too difficult, then try translating it back into your language (this time, without help) and see if it still makes sense.