Don’t know about you, but with all the summer fun and travel I find it hard to find time to sit down and read even a few pages of the Master and Margarita. But a few paragraphs here, a page there and next thing you know you’re in Chapter 5 already.

It just so happens, Chapter 5 «Было дело в Грибоедове» [The Incident at Griboyedov] is one of my most favorite chapters. Why? It’s mostly because of all the food mentioned in it. Growing up amidst continuous shortages, first of foodstuff and then – of money, and having no access to the amply-illustrated Soviet-era «Книга о вкусной и здоровой пище» [Recipes for Delicious and Healthful Food], I tried really hard to imagine what «судачки а натюрель» [perch au naturel] would even look like.

«Но довольно, ты отвлекаешься, читатель!» [But enough, you, dear reader, are becoming distracted] to borrow the phrase from this same Chapter 5. Plus I’m getting a bit ahead of myself here. There are, after all, a couple of issues that need to be discussed first.

For example, don’t you think it’s about time to find out what the acronym «МАССОЛИТ» stands for? «МАССОЛИТ» is first introduced on the very first page of Chapter 1 as «одна из крупнейших московских литературных ассоциаций» [one of Moscow’s largest literary associations].

Nowhere in the novel does Bulgakov divulge what the mysterious acronym means. Since the entire novel is centered on «литература и литераторы» [literature and writers] it would be logical to suggest that «ЛИТ» stands for either one of these. «СО», of course, can stand for «советский» [soviet] or «социалистический» [socialist]. And «МАС» can be either «массовый» [mainstream] or «мастер».

And so «МАССОЛИТ» can be any one of these:

«МАССОвая ЛИТература» [mainstream literature]

«МАСсовая СОветская ЛИТература» [mainstream soviet literature]

«Московская АСсоциация СОциалистических ЛИТераторов» [Moscow association of socialist writers]

«МАСтера СОветской ЛИТературы» [masters of Russian literature]

«МАСтера СОциалистической ЛИТературы» [masters of socialist literature]

or any other permutation.

The word «массовый», by the way, can have several connotations. Mainstream is the most obviously fitting in this case. But consider Bulgakov’s «неприязнь» [dislike] to the then-popular acronyms as well as to the organizations hiding behind them. «Массовый» might very well mean high-volume (as in «массовое производство» [high-volume production]) or wholesale (as in «массовая продажа» [bulk sales]).

Then, as I did some online research I came across something even more intriguing. «ЛИТ» might not refer to literature or writers at all. Instead, it can be derived from the Greek word “lithos” – stone, as in Russian words «монолит» [monolith] and «палеолит» [Paleolith]. It seems that implied meaning would be something immovable and lifeless, something with no capacity to react to one’s pain or passion.

Was there a specific literary association Bulgakov was mocking? Well, yes, scores of them. Most likely it was «РАПП» or «Российская ассоциация пролетарских писателей» [Russian association of proletarian writers]. It was well-known for «нападки» [bashing] of “non-conforming writers”, including Bulgakov.

Bulgakov suffered from criticism and rejection on the grounds of being “anti-soviet” and “anti-proletarian” coming from writers whose work was nothing but «халтура» [sloppy, shoddy work] done to rise through the ranks and get coveted benefits.

No wonder his description of «МАССОЛИТ» is so bitter and sarcastic as when he mockingly asserts that «без литературного таланта» [without literary talent] it wasn’t possible to become the card-carrying member of the organization. Or take the names of the writers – «Богохульский» [Blasphemer]; «Павианов» from «павиан» [baboon]; «Рюхин» from «рюха» [chock, small wooden cylinder], etc. Add to that the comparison of the entire Griboyedov establishment to hell, first – implied (when the jazz band starts to play) and then – direct, «Словом, ад» [In a word, hell].

But what of the mysterious dishes served at the restaurant? Turns out, perch au naturel is just perch braised with aromatics and herbs. As for «яйца-кокотт в шампиньоновым пюре» [eggs en cocotte with mushroom puree], these are sautéed mushrooms with eggs broken over them all baked in single-serving bakeware. Finally, «суп-прентаньер» is made with beef stock poured over some boiled veggies.

As a matter of fact, it all looks so doable that I’m considering cooking a M&M-themed dinner. Except, ironically, I’ve never seen perch in stores in the US.