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It seems, unfairly so, that when I tell somebody that I came to America from Russia, they often assume that I was a mail-order bride. Through the internet, mail-order bride websites have flourished in recent years. I do have many friends who first met their current or ex-spouses on these websites. Some of these friends seem happily married and some have had very difficult times. As I was writing this, I tried to combine knowledge gained from some of my friends, as well as some research on the subject.
First let’s examine why a Russian woman would want to find a husband in another country. According to World Bank, in 2012 almost 54 percent of the total Russian population were female. This means fewer men are available to choose from. Life can be very difficult for a woman in Russia; alcoholism permeates many families with the female often being the bond that holds the household together. It is very difficult for women to find well-paying jobs even though they are equally qualified – females typically earn much less money than their male counterparts performing the same duties. According to the United Nations, this gender wage gap is between 30 and 40 percent. If the woman is pregnant or has children, things become even more difficult. In a recent survey conducted by Superjob.ru only 5 percent of Russian women find life as a female in Russia to be gratifying. Another reason women leave is simply that sometimes you just don’t like where you’ve always lived and want to get out and see the world. I was determined to leave that part of the world and fortunately, I was able to come to America without finding a spouse online. Bottom line, life in Russia is pretty hard for a lot of people. A lot of men and women would really like to leave Russia but while women have the marriage card to play, men have to rely on education, talent, or relatives to get them out.
Not let’s try to examine why an American male, for example, would like to find a bride from Russia? Traditional values? Maybe. Beauty? Maybe. Excitement? Sure. Fed up with how feminism has changed American society? It’s possible. Feeling more secure in approaching a poor Russian foreigner as opposed to an all-American woman? Certainly true in many cases. From what I have seen, many men who try their luck with foreign women, seem to believe that it is easier to satisfy a woman from a poorer country than an American woman – most Russians live with far fewer amenities than Americans. It is almost if the men feel a sense of superiority toward these women for some reason or other, and this is why they have the courage to begin a relationship. Typically, you will see an average-looking guy with a beautiful Russian wife. She gets to leave behind a difficult life in Russia for a more promising one in America, and he gets a woman that is usually out of his league – as far as looks are concerned. Both parties are definitely after something that for one reason or another is out of their reach in their homeland, both parties always have valid reasons for taking this path. The true question is: do you, as the future husband or wife, know these true reasons or are you being given some other phony, cover-up explanations? The other equally important question is: do you have enough patience and trust to go through with it? Answering yes to both of these questions is a great place to start. Tomorrow we will take a deeper look at what challenges you can expect to encounter. Until then, всего хорошего!
I welcome all your comments and questions! Спасибо!
P.S. Part Two to this article can be found here 🙂