A recent discussion with one of my dear friends brought up some memories on the subject of habits, customs and the norm. In my opinion, the norm is quite a slippery slope that might take you places you didn’t necessarily want to go. So, if you are traveling to Russia any time soon or plan on hanging out with Russians for quite some time, let me give you some tips on how to avoid finding yourself in a multicultural pickle.

Let’s begin with a few Don’ts

Don’t smile at strangers for no apparent reason. Smiling for no apparent reason can cause those in your vicinity to think you may be a little bit off, to say the least. While smiling is definitely a do in the US, I still wonder if Russia will ever get there. Even the sales people are still struggling with acquisition of this skill. Slowly but surely the sales smile might find its way to the faces of the sales force; I am not sure I can say the same about smiling just because. On the other hand, flirting would count as an exception: it is quite the norm to smile at people if you are trying to flirt.

Don’t expect to be done with a meal quickly. If you are invited for dinner, expect to spend the night at the dinner table. The more prominent the occasion, the longer the dinner tends to last. Dishes with lots of mayonnaise, potatoes and eggs are pretty common, and so are lengthy toasts. You might be asked to say a toast yourself, so preparing in advance might be a good idea.

Don’t visit people empty-handed. It is a sign of good taste to bring something for your host. It doesn’t have to be extravagant: a bar of chocolate or a bottle of wine (or vodka) is quite enough. If they have kids, it could be sweets or fruit for the little ones. People usually bring what they can afford. Keep in mind though, if you are bringing flowers for the lady, never buy an even number – even number bouquets are reserved for the funerals.

Don’t put your feet on the coffee table. This is a big no-no. Just putting it out there, I know some folks are quite fond of doing that 🙂 .

OK, now let’s go over some Dos for a change.

Do get dressed up regularly, even if you are not planning anything special. I could write a whole post on the vast differences in clothing between Russians and Americans, but for now let me just say that you should save the sweat pants for walking around the house and going to the gym. Opting for jeans with a clean casual top would be your best bet in almost any situation (aside from business meetings).

Do expect smoking in most places. In Russia, “restaurants, bars, clubs, and many other public gathering places consist of two sections: smoking and chain smoking” – very true, unknown internet author! Smoking is deeply imbedded into Russian culture, a lot of places, however, are starting to turn the corner and become non-smoking. Plenty of cafes have always been a smoke free zone, so there are places you can go and eat without choking on the smoke.

Do expect to pay more for certain things if you are a foreigner. To a Russian person, a westerner usually sticks out like a sore thumb. There is just that something in the facial expression, the posture, the clothes that gives you away. Don’t try to hide it (OK, if you are, start by not wearing khaki pants or shorts). Sometimes people will use this against you when giving you the price for their goods or services. To avoid getting ripped off, try to gather relevant information ahead of time or have a reliable native guide.

As many of my Russian friends will attest, this is far from a comprehensive list of things you should and shouldn’t do while in Russia; however, it is a good start. I welcome additional suggestions based on your experiences and observations.

Всего хорошего!