Why Some Men Want to Marry Russian Women Posted by Jenya on Nov 19, 2014 in Culture, History
What makes Russian women desirable to so many men around the world? Sure, some possess the type of beauty that could make even supermodels jealous. They are typically very fashion-conscious and strive to look great even when going to the grocery store. Like with women everywhere, some have great personalities, some do not. Well, there certainly are plenty of beautiful women with great personalities here in the US. Why then would you want a wife from Russia instead? In order to get some answers, I consulted a few American men I know who are married to them.
Not too many years ago, American men did not really have access to Russian women so this made them a rarer breed. Unlike most other races and nationalities, you didn’t see many Russians in America because they weren’t allowed to leave their own country. Once the “Iron Curtain” fell, many of Russia’s once-trapped female population burst out of the country as fast as they could. Nowadays, you find Russian people all over the place.
Could part of the reason be the “mysterious Russian soul,” a popular literary cliche and the way many Russians truly feel about themselves? In my opinion, the “mysterious Russian soul” really boils down to the vast amounts of cultural wealth that is not easily translated into other languages or understood by other cultures. However, that is to be expected with any other culture that has been around for ages. I frequently feel as though the value of the “mysterious Russian soul” has been greatly exaggerated.
The key to this puzzle could be in the fact that part of this “soul” is filled with very traditional family values – similar to those found in America before the whole Women’s Liberation Movement of the 1960’s. We put family a bit higher on the list of priorities and we learn how to perform those roles from our mothers – though I doubt this is always true. Russia is still largely a patriarchal society, although the new generation of women are behaving more and more like the women in the west.
Another part of this โmysterious soulโ is that of not being caught up in “keeping up with the Joneses.” Many believe us to not be as materialistic as other women. In all fairness, growing up poor, as many of us did, we learned early on that it is hard to have “champagne taste on a beer budget.” My understanding is that some men think that they can save money dating a Russian woman because they won’t have to lavish her with expensive gifts or that even little gifts seem like great ones because she is used to having so little. I can see where some may believe this but it is not always the case. Sometimes, after you’ve been deprived for so long and you finally have a chance to have things you’ve never thought possible, you end up wanting to make up for lost time ๐ .
I believe Russian women want the same things in a relationship: honesty, trust, understanding, they want to be loved and respected, sometimes spoiled, and made to feel as though they are the center of their husband’s universe. I have met American men who unwisely think that all we need is a roof over our head to make us happy. I have also met men who think that we ought to be satisfied with less because we are used to having less. All of that is only partly true and largely depends on your relationship; I have been through many ups and downs with my husband and I believe it definitely made our relationship stronger. In the end, don’t be fooled by thinking you will get a lot for a little. If you treat your wife like a queen, she will hopefully treat you like a king – no matter what country she comes from ๐
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About the Author: Jenya
Born in Russia, I spent the first twenty years of my life in Orenburg, Russia and Mogilev, Belarus. For the last eleven years, I've lived in New Hampshire and Michigan, US. While I continue to absorb and adapt to American culture, I am always thrilled to share my Russian heritage with those who find it interesting. Travel, photography and art play a special part in my life. Twitter: @iamnx2u
Comments:
Eric:
Great post Jenya!
Jenya:
Eric, ัะฟะฐัะธะฑะพ! I would love to hear people’s opinions/stories on the subject ๐ .
Felix:
Jenya, I’m in Russia now. and I’m trying to hit on Russian women. They are really open and kind-hearted when you’re in luck. But rarely they’ll scold you for approaching them) Most problem I faced is that I’m not courage enough to state my true purpose of talking to them. Fear of being rejected. Haha.(which I hope I can develop more confident as I talk with more girls) But it’s really nice talking to them. They even make jokes with you as you expected them to be looking serious and no smile at all. It’s like an onion, need to be peeled layer by layer) So it’s not true when people said that russians are unfriendly, you just haven’t meet the right one.
Jenya:
@Felix Felix, thanks a lot for sharing! I hope you find the right girl :-). Keep in mind that there are plenty of gold diggers too and sometimes it is hard to see through it ๐ Good luck!
Leigh Wilhelm Buchanan:
I think that Russians should be Russians and seek to marry Russians instead of interbreeding with other races as this dilutes the DNA strain of both The Russian Race and the other races.
Lieto:
@Leigh Wilhelm Buchanan We Russians are a genetic mix of a variety of DNAs, just like most Americans are, and it only what’s left from an old Russian soul that may still keep us together today even as a culture… Very diluted though by New World Order with pro-western economists((
Ross Stuckey:
Excellent analysis of this topic.
Sean Champ:
I was once contacted by a lady from the republic of Mari El. Though it might seem perhaps like as if it was a matter lacking intuition, but I do not think it was so. We began a short correspondence. I was of an impression that there was a charming lady whom had written to me — my seeing nothing too opportunistic in simple conversation, candidly. I’m afraid that our conversation did not evolve, however. Amidst the pressures I was living with, at the time, our correspondence did not continue. Perhaps beyond the language barrier, there is a cultural divide?
Presently, having read about the diplomatic university of MFA Russia, I think there’s much that one could say for journalism. Matters of heart, one perhaps “Takes for granted” in the simple things.
starry:
This is foolish, Russians should only be with other Russians. I agree with @Leigh Wilhelm Buchanan on this, I couldn’t have stated it any batter myself. The only reason I would contact American men married to Russian women is to teach them a lesson in how to stick to their own kind and stop not only diluting the DNA but the culture as well.
Mostafa Abaza:
well i’ve known Russian women a long time since i get to know their community in Egypt…
i can say a lot about them from my experience..
they are the best house wives and best mothers, they are really dedicated to their man and they know how to honor him and respect his opinion and believes, she is respectable in all kind of her behavior…
by default she knows how to cook and she like to please her man…
i have a woman relative of mine and she is Syrian ( their reputation as the best house wives in the world ) she once told me the Russian wives here living in Syria can bare from the man what no Syrian woman does, i consider that on behalf of the Russian woman..
just two main things keep away and any man will have a marriage life like heaven, be honest and never try to express your anger on her and make her feel threatened , be a man to her and not on her
put the world in her hands and she will put you in her heart and what a wonderful place that is
she doesn’t ask for much, she is simple and adorable woman
i forgot to say ๐
I’M MARRIED TO ONE
Jenya:
@Mostafa Abaza Mostafa, thank you very much for your opinion. It is definitely interesting to hear what people think in other parts of the world :-).
Mostafa Abaza:
this is a fact Jenya, not only because i’m married to a Russian and i love her ( although i do so much ) but i traveled the world and met a lot but still the base of my words are on facts not thoughts
Russians woman have culture and traditions about marriage life and husband that doesn’t exist any more
before i met my wife i knew a lot of Russian women whether living in Egypt or abroad and mostly has the same ideas about family life
i guess writing these words are just a drop in an ocean for what i owe my wife and to give her a slight chance to show her a discreet credit to her morals and attitude
Jeni:
I think that is someone but almost men very prefer Russian Girls. Because you all are so expecialy with blue eyes. I reall interesting in the eyes of Russian women. That is a thing which the men in the world attentioned to you, all.
Mostafa Abaza:
i disagree
Alexandra Kosheleva:
For me, there are a lot of benefits when it comes to online dating, it helps us booze our self confidence also. Some may not like online dating because of some bad or negative things that they have experience, but if you are lucky enough you would be able to find someone who would accept and love you through online, like this one blog that I have read lately, she was change because of online dating, she never thought that she would be able to fine her special someone or she would be single forever but with the help of this online dating site she was lucky to find her Mr. Right. Here is this blog if you are interested to know about her and her experiences when it comes to online dating: http://theeasterneuropedating.blogspot.com/2015/03/a-woman-who-changed-by-love.html
Darren Brennan:
I think you have to go what your gut tells you. Remember, Russian Women, are clever, and very well educated. They in general, can speak Russian – Ukraine – Italian – English. They demand more, because they work hard for who they are. Moldavia – Romania -Ukraine Russia, all Beautiful Women. Unless your willing to travel there, and really get to know their families. Don’t bother. I know, I have dated all of above, and I tell you, to this day, I am still! considered family. When you marry a women, you marry their family as well. or when you seriously date one of them. You better have the blessings of the families. If not! That love affair won’t last. Good advice. Find a woman your own age. Enjoy life together. Let her teach your of her culture, as you would teach her of yours. Learn how to speak Russian. it shows respect & Interest, in her & her culture. Regardless of any women’s origin. Be Thankful she Is with you. And let her know it. Beauty & Sex, only last for a short while. After all the glamour Is done. All you have Is each other. Make sure, you truly know, what you want. Asking a women to travel across the world, to be with you, Is asking everything to her. Make sure you can do It, and know this Is real life. Not an Internet ad.
Jenya:
@Darren Brennan Darren, thank you very much for your input. Calling all Russian women clever and educated would be unfair to them and you. Many Russian women are in fact clever and educated but just as many of them are not. In most cases they are desperate to find a better alternative to their current living conditions and it is hard to blame them for that. If your relationship works out though, a Russian woman will love you just as much as any other woman would. If you understand that any successful relationship is a lot of work, you are on the right track! The rest of your points are very true, in my opinion. Thank you once again!
Zepplin:
I have a question. I am speaking with a woman, and of course. i met her through Match.com She resides In Russia, and we e-mail each other daily. She sends me pictures of her & parents, and so on. However, she states, she has no Internet or phone? Yeah? Funny thing though, If she as no net or phone, How can she send me a picture?. Finally I said good luck. i am not chasing a ghost, and I wish you well. She sent me an address> Who knows. Now please! Tell me. In this day & age, can a home have no Internet or cell phone? Ok, let’s say that Is true, just for a moment. How would she or where would she load pictures from? Her phone or Computer? Last thing. I reside In Boston, and her letters always arrive at 6pm Boston time. So would a Library be open In Russia, at Boston time
Jenya:
@Zepplin Hello Zepplin, you certainly have legitimate concerns. As for her not having internet, that is entirely possible too. Not everybody in Russia has it; because of this internet cafes are very popular ( places where you go to use their computer and internet, some of them are open very late). She could be going there for all her internet needs. As for her not having a phone, that is suspicious. Even my grandma in a remote village has a cell phone, not sure what to think here. My question to you is why didn’t you guys discuss it in your letters; it seems like a simple question and answer would have clarified the situation. In any case I wish you all the best and hope things work out for you!
Zepplin:
Hey Jenna
I am always suspicious, when writing or getting to know anyone from afar. Sometimes when she writes. She repeats what she had previously stated in a letter prior. I have made attention to that. Though, she did tell me much earlier, she resided In a 5 floor housing, In a city called Nefteyugansk. I believe this city Is not that old. Maybe developed In the 1950’s or so, and entirely was designed for It’s military officers. Which was consistent, based on a family picture i have seen, of her father, that has perished. I new his rank immediately, however, never mentioned It.So, she offered me a mailing address. I googles It, and It was a 5 story building. Not In great shape. It;s almost consistent, as her clothing compared to what i know, Is less designer material, and her hair, while healthy. not salon like most women, I have met. I’m still having trouble with the fact, she can send me pictures? Impossible without a computer or phone as a server.
Jenya:
@Zepplin Manjit, thanks for reading. I personally do not know what sites you would need to visit for this purpose but I am sure there are many. Good luck in your search.
Manjit Singh:
Hi Jenya,
Is there any place where I can contact them for marriage, actually its not physically possible right now for me to visit Russia and find a girl. Sorry I forgot to tell I am from India. Its not about visa LOL Russia and India are good friends so there is definitely not visa requirement behind marriage.
I read above mix DNA etc. but its not like that we all are human and if someone like other than its simply because of human nature. Whats wrong marrying another preson from other part of the world.
I hope Jenya you will reply soon.
Regards,
M. Singh
allen:
Cool.Russian women are beautiful.
Alejandro:
Hello Janya excellent post. I have a very positive view of Russians and especially Russian women. I would love to marry one of them some day. I am curious as to how are Latin Americans viewed in Russia. I am Mexican myself and I would love to know. I know many Russian women have married Turkish men but I have never heard of Russian/Ukrainian women marrying men from Latin American countries. I know that Russians love the song “Besame Mucho” which was written by a Mexican singer. Anyways excellent post and I hope to hear from you.
Jenya:
@Alejandro Alejandro, thank you very much for reading. I am sure there are some Latin American/Russian marriages out there. Have you looked for any info online? I don’t believe there is any kind of prejudice toward Latin Americans in Russia so it might be worth a shot :-).
max:
I also married my russian wife through this website http://www.girlstravelling.com the thing wasn’t planned but we were members of this website and we met for a trip and we fell in love ๐
Jenya:
@max Max, it is always nice to hear when things work out because so many times they don’t in these situations ๐
khalid:
Hi Jenya
As am Afro-Arabian man,i have to say, am very fond of Russian woman although our cultures and traditional are totally differ,i had met some of them at dating site and made friendship relation with them lasting up to now might be for more than two years,the fact i must say they are really good and respectable girls i have never feel there was huge gaps between us,but i feel we are so close,and they told me so,we rolled the distance between,and we talked one language, the language we hide inside our hearts.so am very happy with them, really i love them much coz they became my best friends
radicaldude:
hi jenya,
mine’s slightly off topic, but there aren’t as many easy to find relevant blogs on this, i’m looking for anyone who has experience to help me out. So if you can, great, if not, no worries.
I’m 29 and about 6 months ago joined a dating website for a month. I quit quite soon after as I think the old fashioned way just works better for me however, one girl – a russian – i have remained in contact with ever since. She’s actually very much my type. Creative, fun, thoughtful, kind, travels, ambitious… All these things are here, they’re fantastic, they’re hugely attractive. So, during one conversation it transpired that we were both on holiday in sweden in the same month. Unfortunately we actually missed each other by one day, but that soon instigated a plan for an international first date. Now this has changed the dynamic. It has got serious and I am panicking. I guess I need to get back in the mind set of dating a uk girl. But I am feeling lots of pressure for the stigma of Russian girls.
For instance, if I date this girl, do I instantly inherit an additional family? That is not a problem if I meet a girl, date her, fall in love and marry her, but I am concerned because the stakes are so much higher on a long distance relationship to the point that I feel like I need to be clear on all of those ‘baggage'(for lack of a better word) issues at a stage so early. I do not want to break this girl’s heart aftre a few months for something that could be avoided from the outset.
Do you have any advice? I guess i should talk to her about it, but it takes away from the romance a bit. And she’s clearly a romance nerd judging by her book collection, so i’s hate to take away something that she’d really like if i can avoid it.
Thanks
Matt
Jenya:
@radicaldude Radicaldude, all your concerns are very legitimate. Russians families, I believe, have a much different dynamic compared to European families. So, yes, the term “baggage” may very well apply. However, if you just let the relationship develop naturally and find out whether you really want her, with or without the baggage, then you’ll be able to answer your own question. As for the early stages of the relationships, I believe, both of you might just need to worry about the “carry-on” and skip the “baggage” for the time being :-).
Timothy:
I wish to reply to a previous post.
Russian is not a race it is a nationality. It simply refers to
one’s birthplace or native country ….some people actually promote the idea of “mixing” russian DNA with other “races”like american.
My girlfriend is intelligent loving and beautiful and yes she is russian….
Kurupt:
I have done my share of diluting the Russian race. I’ve had sexual relations with so many of them. Because I am Chinese our children will be beautiful. It’s a known fact Chinese have superior genes. It’s why we are the most powerful country in the world and the smartest. Look how many doctors are Chinese. But mixed race Chinese are also Te most beautiful people.
Really. As a genetically superior race we need to lift the standards of the inferior ones. Like the whites and Americans.
It’s my job to pork all you ladies
Aydin:
“What makes Russian women desirable to so many men around the world? Sure, some possess the type of beauty that could make even supermodels jealous…”
Really? Your outlook is very narrow. I may be wrong, this is the first of your posts I’ve read and it may not be representative of your outlook.
What this sounds like more Public Relations exaggerating Russian women’s “desirability” and mythologising their “beauty”. Truth is, Russian women are very normal-looking human beings and not particularly outstanding to look at. They are people and not stereotypes, whether positive or not.
Some are really sweet (that I know) and they do take care of themselves — but the myth and the truth of “beauty” are quite different.
Sadly, what is being capitalised on here is their whiteness — we are all supposed to buy into a belief system that white women are the most beautiful women on earth… ๐ You clearly think this is utterly universal. How ridiculous. And what could be whiter that the white Russian? Oh yes, black or brown women couldn’t compare to white women’s incomparable beauty, oh no! Nobody wants them.
I have to wonder when I hear of the women of Poland, Czech or Russia, for example being sold as “beautiful” and “angels” when what is really being touted is “run to these Slavonic women — white, submissive and easy to bed”.
Quite unfair to the women and their nationalities.
Next you will be telling us they are “good in bed”.
In my time in Turkey, the Russian prostitutes created that spin…in the hope that EVERYONE will believe that lie as well, and draw the bees to the honey — bed us, marry us, marry us, please!
Young Mr m:
I met a Russian girl that is in the U.S. In a student visa. We have been on a few dates I am absouloutly in love with her and I think she loves me also. I don’t know how to ask someone to leave their entire life and family behind,to marry me in Texas I just think it’s a lot to ask of her.
cunkle:
really useful and heplful article for me.
i am writing a novel with a hero whose girlfriend is a Russian.
And I have some new thoughts after reading this .
Thanks a lot