“Express yourself don’t repress yourself!” Posted by Tibor on Feb 17, 2010 in Culture
No one really likes Jantelagen. People have really weird thoughts about this subject sometimes. You are not supposed to express strong opinions on anything unless it’s not about child abuse (barnaga/barnmisshandel) or something really horrible that people are naturally against. I remember one conversation where I really went against jantelagen and only one friend of mine backed me up. I should have been PK about it as we say politically correct (politiskt korrekt) in Sweden. That was the expectation. But I wasn’t. Not because I wanted to provoke people, but I wanted to have an honest reaction. But I should have been lagom on the matter. I have been wondering for years what is the reason why I so dislike jantelagen. I thought for a while that it must be because of my Hungarian heritage. Tamás Gellért (one of the biggest Swedish writers and journalists nowadays and among other books he is the author of the famous book Lasermannen, which is a true story based on a serial killer in Stockholm) wrote in an articel that the Hungarian mentality is cocky (kaxig) and brutally honest. I really don’t know if he’s right or wrong about that matter. I think everyone can recognize her/himself in any of the statements of either Tamás Gellért or jantelagen. After reading his article I have understood that the real reason why I dislike jantelagen is because I don’t like greyness. Greyness in terms of being unnoticeable and boring. I like interesting people who are outstanding talents and by outstanding I don’t mean Paris Hilton. Or maybe not outstanding but true to themselves. There is nothing wrong with showing that you CAN DO IT or that you have a different point of view. It’s human nature. It’s not good for you to repress your feelings. I honestly hope that people who live by jantelagen-rules won’t realize after a certain age that they have missed out on things just because they wanted to live up for something that was created/decided by other people who rather “repress than solve things”. This is also a reason why I dislike jantelagen. I don’t ever want to feel like that. I want to be aware of the reasons behind any actions or statements I make. Do not worry guys! I let go sometimes. 😉
I have collected some funny lines that sums up people living in Janteland=Sweden. Don’t forget that I will generalize as well. Do you recognize yourself as a Swede or as a foreigner in transition becoming a Swede?
It is always someone elses turn to buy cakes to work on fridays.
You think you’ll be punished for changing queue at the grocery store.
You comfort yourself with “that is more important to be a part of the game than winning it”.
You never sit next to a person unless there are no available seats left.
You become silent when people pour wine for you.
You are convinced that Sweden pays the most EU-membership fee.
You know the Norwegian national day by heart but you are uncertain when the Swedish is.
You pay equally on a first-date.
If someone talks to you (without a real reason) on the bus you assume that they are either drunk or have a psycological problem.
You weigh your lagguage at home before leaving to the airport.
You never say that the food was bad at a restaurant. You think it’s about good manners.
Whenever you get a fine you say: They are just doing their job.
You think that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
You take a queue ticket even if you are alone in the shop.
You take chances to make Swedish words into English.
You would love to be less stereotypical Swedish.
source with some modification: Du vet att du är svensk. You know that you are Swedish.
Build vocabulary, practice pronunciation, and more with Transparent Language Online. Available anytime, anywhere, on any device.
Comments:
Marta:
Hej! Congratulations on your blog. It’s brilliant! I will visit it often! Best regards from Barcelona (by the way, there are many Swedish people here :))
Kenia:
What if I’m an open person who says what she thinks? I certainly don’t speak a lot about myself and don’t try to have everyone know about my successes and accomplishments, but I do smile and laugh at my friends and workmates constantly, i think i’m a friendly person who likes to express her feelings and opinions.
Do you think i won’t fit the swedish society Tibor? Will i have to change the way i am?
I know already i can’t kiss people on the cheek =), but that’s a different thing and it’s a matter of getting used to their greetings, which btw, i find pretty cold.
After reading this post, i now wonder if i will be seen like a freak just for being honest and spontaneous in my reactions. What do you think?
Tibor:
Hi Marta!
Thank you! I hope you will enjoy even the “boring” grammar posts as well.
Tibor:
Hi Kenia!
I guess there are always some unwritten rules in every society, but there are always like-minded(sg.likasinnad-pl. likasinnade) people. You will surely find your friends. It is all about chemistry in the end of the day. We have been generalizing in our articles. But it is true though that you are not supposed to complain or critisize too much otherwise people can get tired. No one wants to be a troublemaker (bråkstake) either. Don´t worry, we don´t bite overhere. 🙂 And be yourself. You should never apologize for being honest or true to yourself, just time it well 😉
Steve:
Hej,
It’s funny, but about 80% of the list is also applicable to English people. Maybe that’s why I like it so much and feel so at home in Sweden.
(from an English ex-pat living in Sweden)
Luke (Sydney):
I have a feeling Swede travels a lot.
Tibor:
Hi Steve,
This is how you make a thing to your advatage. And I am sure that many other cultures can recognize themselves.
Tibor:
Hi Luke,
You are so right LoL. I would prescribe it if I was a GP.
Kenia:
Hi Tibor! Thanks for your reply. Just one thing, in my previous comment i didn’t mean “laught at friends and workmates” but “laugh WITH them” there’s a difference, i realized the big mistake after i had posted the comment =).
LC in Seattle:
My mother went back to Finland on a visit last fall. Walking into a bank with no customers in the lobby, my mother was about to walk up to the teller, when the teller pointed at the queue number dispenser and made it very clear with her body language that she was horrified that somebody would even attempt to see her without getting a queue number first.
Although my mother grew up in Finland, evidently she has lived in the USA long enough that she forgot she needs to take a queue number even when nobody is waiting. 🙂
That said, there are places in the USA where I’d prefer a queue number system instead of having a line at each window so I don’t have to guess which line will have the shorter wait. When I go to the movies and there are two ticket windows open I try to get people waiting to buy tickets to form one line rather than two, even though I don’t work there and have no authority. Is that my latent Scandinavian coming to the fore? 🙂
LC in Seattle:
IMHO we need to strike a happy balance between being “true to ourselves” and considering others. Jantelagen shows the worst aspects of going too far in one direction, but someone who goes too far in another direction might be an irresponsible “free spirit” (aka narcissist) who couldn’t be trusted with following a commitment through to the end: just as bad, if not worse, than being grey.
Amerikansk Tjej:
Heehee jag håller med Steve, tror jag att vi som bott i länder som England (eller, i mitt fall, Amerika), smälter in i den svenska kulturen mycket bättre kanske än andra. Men ändå, varje gång jag besöker Sverige, känner jag mig som en fullständig JERK eftersom jag är väldigt påstridig och frispråkig. After all, I was raised as an American. But these are just the beautiful things that make us different, and while it is VERY important to be respectful of the country you are visiting, we should also learn to celebrate our differences and enjoy them 🙂
Sociala medier förändrar världen. Jag hoppas att kulturen inte försvinner, men förhoppningsvis kommer att frigöra en del människor från föråldrade sociala gränserna <3
Tack för din blogg, Tibor!
Tibor:
Hi LC,
I totally agree, the queue system is a really good , since people can´t really argue about who was there first and so on. I have lived two times in Finland as a student. Once at a summer university and once as an exchange student in Helsinki (Helsingfors). I have to admit that there are not so much difference between Sweden and Finland. There are but not many. Maybe a bit less flexibility there.Once me and a friend drove to Kuovola to have dinner with her parents. My friend´s mother told me that she wanted to use a coupon to get some products on discount. The place where you could use the coupon was near to her work in Kuovola so she went there before going to work. The woman at the cashier told her that she couldn´t help because there was a code on the coupon which you had to tell through the phone. My friend´s mom told that it was true, but she worked a stone´s throw from the shop, so that was the reason why she popped by. But the cashier said she couldn´t help her. That was the rule. So, my friend´s mom (who is not only a very intelligent woman but also a funny one) went out and called the shop from the backyard. Told the code-number to the cashier, who said “yes thank you it is allright” and then went in and took the stuff.
Tibor:
Hej Amerikansk tjej!
Det har du alldeles rätt i. Det finns en sak jag har börjat med och det är nämligen att besvara frågan (Smakade det bra?) på ett ärligt sätt. Vad är poängen med att säga: “jodå, det var jättegott när köttet var segt till exempel. Det är bara konstruktiv kritik. Vill de behålla kunderna så ändrar de på det. I get really different reactions on this. Some appreciate it some don´t really know what to say. Once a waiter told me that no one ever said this. “Wonder” why….
Rebekah:
Apart from everything else in this post: That list about «you know you’re Swedish….» I’m assuming it’s a JOKE, huh?!
«You never sit next to a person unless there are no available seats left.»
No, I don’t. Do they do that i other countries??? Please, do tell!
«You become silent when people pour wine for you.»
What’s that? I don’t even understand that statement.
Besides, I think someone used an online translator for that list.
Tibor:
Hello there too Rebekah,
“No, it is all true to every single Swedish person from Ystad to Kiruna”. Of course it is a kind of joke and exaggeration. You see, the book is generalizing and it wants to entertain. However, the book was written by three Swedes. Mattias Boström, Fredrik Månsson and Christopher Overton. One of the guys Christopher (btw) is not only a writer but a humorist as well. If you want to understand the reason why they have written this book please do not hesitate to buy the book online. It is in the foreword.
Rebekah:
amazing …I need to check out that book.
Really want to know why they become silent when the wine is poured :o)