Imagine if you woke up one day, only to find yourself speaking “wiz a verry strrong French accent“?

Assuming that you are not a native French speaker, or a person who lived long enough in a French-speaking country, that would seem just impossible?

Well, pas vraiment (not really.)

According to many neurologists, this condition, albeit a rare one, has occurred many times throughout history, and in different parts of the world.

It is known in French as “Syndrome de l’accent étranger“, or “Foreign Accent Syndrome” (FAS) in English, and was first discovered by a French scientist in the early 20th century.

Take the modern case of this lady, Leanne Rowe, who lives as far as it gets from France: Tasmania.

Before experiencing a serious car crash, Leanne spoke English just like any other born and raised Tasmanian.

Unfortunately, this condition left a deep impact upon her life.

Now, the accidental French-accented Tasmanian lady says that she lives as a recluse, preferring to go out only at night time.

Other people who suffered a similar experience seem to cope slightly better with this rather odd condition.

Cindylou Romberg has never left Port Angeles, Washington. Yet, after sustaining a head injury, she woke up speaking with un accent étranger that can easily be mistaken for Russian, Swedish, or even German.

Of course, many people who meet FAS victims for the first time may be tempted to think that they are simply faking it, since this condition is usually unheard of.

Now, the question is for you, mes amis:

What if for one reason or another -and preferably not because of an accident- you woke up one day speaking with un accent étranger (a foreign accent), what would be your reaction?

What if you could somehow select the foreign accent in question, which one would you choose, assuming you could not retrieve your normal accent?

Would speaking with a strong French accent be such a terrible thing for you?

To go back to Leanne, who is understandably upset about losing her original accent, one is tempted to say that there are far worse things that could have happened to her than just speaking with a thick French accent.

After all, she could have lost her ability to speak altogether.

In that sense, the lady a eu de la chance (was lucky.)

J’aime toute ma famille (I love all my family)!

La petite (the small) as well as la grande (the extended.)

Don’t you too?

Do you also believe in the priority that says “la famille d’abord” (“family first”)?

Today, we will “familiarize” ourselves, so to speak, with a set of French words and expressions related to la “famille.”

• Un or une ancêtre: ancestor. You can also say, more formally, aïeul (forebear.)
• La mère (the mother), or more informally “la maman.“
• Le père (the father), or the informal “le papa.”
• Le grand-père (the grandfather), who can be called informally “papi“
• La grand-mère (the grandmother), also informally can be “mami.” (Like in “Mami Casse-cou“: The French title of the English series “Supergran“!)
• Le frère (the brother), who can be said to be “le frangin.“
• La soeur (the sister), she can also be called “la frangine.“
• L’oncle (the uncle), whom you may call “tonton“
• La tante (the aunt), you can also call her “tata“
• Le cousin or la cousine (Obviously the cousins.)
• Les cousins germains (These are not necessarily used to designate Wolfgang and Helga, your German cousins who may live in Munich or Berlin. “Cousin germain” simply means “first cousin”, just like the English term “cousin-german.”)

• Le neveu (the nephew)
• La nièce (the niece)
• L’époux, or its feminine, l’épouse (the spouse), which can also be said le mari (the husband) and la femme (the wife), or le conjoint and la conjointe.
• Le fils (the son)
• La fille (the daughter)
• Le petit-fils (the grandson)
• La petite-fille (the granddaughter)
• Les petits-enfants (the grandchildren)
• Le parrain (the godfather)
• La maraine (the godmother)

• Les “beaux” (literally, the “beautiful ones”): The in-laws
  • Le beau-frère, la belle-soeur: Contrary to what the literal meaning may suggest, these refer to the brother-in-law and the sister-in-law, whether they’ve been spoiled by dame nature (mother nature) or not! Similarly, you have beau-fils (son-in-law, but also means a stepson who can be called “fils adoptif“”), and belle-fille (daughter-in-law, or a stepdaughter, “une fille adoptive“), and of course the ever-popular among married couples: Le beau-père (father-in-law) and la belle-mère (mother-in-law)! 

“Bolos“, sometimes spelled “boloss“, is a brand new word on the French Slang scene.

It was virtually unknown just a decade ago!

Don't be so "naive" about "evian"

What does it mean?

Everyone seems to agree that it designates a person who’s way too gullible.

Call it in English a “boob“, a “patsy“, a “pigeon“, a “stooge“, etc.

In short, it’s a person who’s utterly naive, who can easily be conned or tricked.

Now, the question is for you, ladies: Who amongst you wants to have a “un bolos” in her life?

Zahø, for one, wants no “boloss” in her life

Je veux pas de boloss dans ma life

I want no boloss in my life

Mon cœur, un bijoux si je l’offrais

My heart, a jewell if I offered it

Tu n’auras le code de son coffret

You won’t have the code of its safety vault

Que si ton amour est vrai

Only if you love is true

Tu me fais la cour, t’es frais

You’re courting me, you’re fresh

J’aime pas ton discours navrée

I don’t like your sorry speech

Ne fais pas le sourd à mes frais

Don’t pretend to be deaf at my own expense

Sors tes billets

Take out your bills

Dès que j’arrive, ça claque

As soon as I arrive, they’re spent

Vaut mieux reculer d’un pas

Better take a step back

Ton baratin ne passe pas

Your smooth talk won’t work

Les boulets ne font pas le poids

Your fireballs ain’t good enough

Je veux pas de boloss dans ma life

I want no boloss in my life

Mais seras-tu de taille ?

But would you measure up?

Je veux pas de boloss dans ma life

I want no boloss in my life

Que de vrais bonhommes

Only real men

Ne gaspille pas ta salive

Save your saliva

Car j’arrive à te lire comme un livre

Because I can read you like a book

Ebahis, tes yeux t’ont trahis

Dumbstruck, your eyes betrayed you

Fin du chapitre

End of the chapter

Je n’ai pas de type favori

I don’t have a favorite type

Je dirai welcome dans ma vie

I’d say welcome in my life

Si t’arrives à tenir le pari

If you’re up for the challenge

Paris, Paris

Paris, Paris

(…)

Je veux pas de boloss dans ma life

I want no boloss in my life