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Let’s have some laugh! Posted by on Nov 13, 2013 in Culture

Image by Bill Walsh Bill on Capitol Hill on Flickr.com

Image by Bill Walsh Bill on Capitol Hill on Flickr.com

Today is the 13th…Usually not a lucky number, but let’s think positive! How about some Polish jokes? Polish Jokes have been around for a very long time. Some people find them offensive, some find them funny, some don’t. The thing is, most of these jokes can be applied to practically any race, color, creed, or individual!

A bar customer asked the bartender if he wanted to hear a Polack joke. The bartender pointed to a large man at the end of the bar and said, “He’s Polish.” Then the bartender pointed to a burly policeman near the door and repeated, “He’s Polish.” The bartender finished, “Now think about whether you want to tell that joke, because I’m Polish, too.” The customer replied, “I guess I won’t tell that joke after all. I’d have to explain it three times.”

Three travelers, one from India, one a Jew and the third a Polak are having trouble finding a room for the night.

After much searching, they finally find an Inn with only two beds left. The innkeeper offers to let the third one of them sleep in the barn.

They draw straws for the two beds, and the Indian is sent off to the barn for the night.

But within five minutes of the Jew and the Polak turning off the lights and going to bed, there is a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK on the door. They open the door and there is the Indian.

“I cannot sleep in the barn,” says the Indian, “I am Hindu and there is a cow in the barn. Cows are sacred to us so I cannot sleep under the same roof as one.”

The Jew volunteers to go to sleep in the barn.

But within five minutes of the Polak and the Indian turning off the lights and going to bed, there is a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK on the door. They open the door and there is the Jew.

“I can’t sleep in the barn either,” says the Jew, “there’s a pig in the barn, and if I sleep in hay that a pig has touched, I may get some in my mouth and that wouldn’t be kosher.”

So the Polak ventures out to go to sleep in the barn.

But within five minutes of the Indian and the Jew turning off the lights and going to bed, there is a KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK on the door. They open the door and there is the cow and the pig.

Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Polak, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German, “What do you want on your back for your whipping?” The German responds, “I will take oil!” So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him 10 times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move. The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Polak, “What do you want on your back?” “I will take nothing!” says the Polak, and he stands there straight and takes his 10 lashings without a single flinch. “What will you take on your back?” the Amazons ask the American. He responds, “I’ll take the Polak!”

 

Enjoy your day!

Do następnego razu… (Till next time…)

 

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About the Author: Kasia

My name is Kasia Scontsas. I grew near Lublin, Poland and moved to Warsaw to study International Business. I have passion for languages: any languages! Currently I live in New Hampshire. I enjoy skiing, kayaking, biking and paddle boarding. My husband speaks a little Polish, but our daughters are fluent in it! I wanted to make sure that they can communicate with their Polish relatives in our native language. Teaching them Polish since they were born was the best thing I could have given them! I have been writing about learning Polish language and culture for Transparent Language’s Polish Blog since 2010.