A very polite hedgehog

A very polite hedgehog Posted by bota on Apr 19, 2022 in Culture, language, Russian for beginners

If you are новичок¹, this blog is for you. If you are an advanced student or a native Russian speaker, this blog is also for you. How? Simple. The answer is ёжик². Или точнее, очень вежливый ёжик.³

Фото автора Egor Kamelev: Pexels

As Russians like to say “Повторение — мать учения“.⁴. For those of you new to Russian language, use this joke below as an opportunity to practice your basic Russian greetings and goodbyes. Reading jokes in a new language also reveals a lot of hidden cultural subtext and references that you might not get from a textbook or an online course. For example, you can gather that hedgehogs are often portrayed as polite and kind characters in Russian tales and cartoons. The other characters here are three mighty Russian bogatyrs or warriors. I suggest to use this famous painting by V. Vastnetsov “Bogatyrs” to imagine the warriors and any depiction of a hedgehog from Russian animation.

Greetings and Goodbyes

In this Russian joke, you will see a lot of “Здравствуй” [ZDRAHST-vooy], which is a polite formal greeting that is just like “Здравствуйте” [ZDRAHST-vooy-tyeh], only the latter one can be used both towards one person or a group of people. “Здравствуй” is also usually reserved for greeting a person you already know.

“До свидания!” [do svee-DAHN-nyah] is a formal way to say ‘goodbye’. It translates to “until (the next) meeting”.

Here is the joke:

Вежливый ёжик идет по лесу, а навстречу ему три богатыря.⁵

Ёжик: – Здравствуй, Илья Муромец!⁶

Илья Муромец: – Здравствуй, ёжик!⁷

Ёжик: – Здравствуй, лошадь Ильи Муромца!⁸

Лошадь: – Здравствуй, ёжик!⁹

Ёжик: – Здравствуй, Добрыня Никитич!¹⁰

Добрыня Никитич: – Здравствуй, ёжик!¹¹

Ёжик: – Здравствуй, лошадь Добрыни Никитича!¹²

Лошадь: – Здравствуй, ёжик!¹³

Ёжик: – Здравствуй, Алеша Попович!¹⁴

Алеша Попович: – Здравствуй, ёжик!¹⁵

Ёжик: – Здравствуй, лошадь Алеши Поповича!¹⁶

Лошадь: – Здравствуй, ёжик!¹⁷

Проезжают дальше.¹⁸

Ёжик: – До свиданья, Илья Муромец!¹⁹

Илья Муромец: – До свиданья, ёжик!²⁰

Ёжик: – До свиданья, лошадь Ильи Муромца!²¹

Лошадь: – До свиданья, ёжик!²²

Ёжик: – До свиданья, Добрыня Никитич!²³

Добрыня Никитич: – До свиданья, ёжик!²⁴

Ёжик: – До свиданья, лошадь Добрыни Никитича!²⁵

Лошадь: – До свиданья, ёжик!²⁶

Ёжик: – До свиданья, Алеша Попович!²⁷

Алеша Попович: – До свиданья, ёжик!²⁸

Ёжик: – До свиданья, лошадь Алеши Поповича!²⁹

Лошадь: – До свиданья, ёжик!³⁰

Идет ёжик дальше, видит, навстречу ему Али-Баба и сорок разбойников. The Hedgehog continues his walk and meets Ali-Baba and the Forty Thieves.

Ёжик: – Здравствуй, Али-Баба!³¹

Али-Баба отвечает: Иди к чёрту, ёжик, мы опаздываем!³²

I had to substitute the original Russian curse words from the punchline, but this joke has never failed me на вечеринке³³. А какие анекдоты вы знаете?³⁴

1
an absolute beginner
2
hedgehog
3
More precisely, ‘a very polite hedgehog’.
4
Repetition is the mother of learning
5
A very polite hedgehog is walking through a forest where he meets three Russian bogatyrs (warriors).
6
Hedgehog says: Hello, Ilya Muromets!
7
Ilya Muromets says: Hello, Hedgehog
8
Hedgehog says: Hello, the horse of Ilya Muromets!
9
The horse says: Hello, Hedgehog!
10
Hedgehog says: Hello, Dobrynya Nikitich!
11
Dobrynya Nikitich says: Hello, Hedgehog!
12
Hedgehog says: Hello, the horse of Dobrynya Nikitich!
13
The horse says: Hello, Hedgehog!
14
Hedgehog says: Hello, Alyosha Popovich!
15
Alyosha Popovich says: Hello, Hedgehog!
16
Hedgehog says: Hello, the horse of Alyosha Popovich!
17
The horse says: Hello, Hedgehog!
18
The Russian Bogatyrs and the Hedgehog pass each other.
19
Hedgehog says: Goodbye, Ilya Muromets!
20
Ilya Muromets says: Goodbye, Hedgehog
21
Hedgehog says: Goodbye, the horse of Ilya Muromets!
22
The horse says: Goodbye, Hedgehog!
23
Hedgehog says: Goodbye, Dobrynya Nikitich!
24
Dobrynya Nikitich says: Goodbye, Hedgehog!
25
Hedgehog says: Goodbye, the horse of Dobrynya Nikitich!
26
The horse says: Goodbye, Hedgehog!
27
Hedgehog says: Goodbye, Alyosha Popovich!
28
Alyosha Popovich says: Goodbye, Hedgehog!
29
Hedgehog says: Goodbye, the horse of Alyosha Popovich!
30
The horse says: Goodbye, Hedgehog!
31
Hedgehog says: Hello, Ali-Baba!
32
Ali-Baba exclaims: Get lost, Hedgehog, we are in a hurry.
33
at a party
34
Do you know any Russian jokes?