How to Give a Gift to Russians Posted by Jenya on Dec 16, 2014 in Culture, Russian life, Traditions, when in Russia
With the holiday season upon us, many of us have already begun to purchase gifts for our family and friends. Exchanging gifts can certainly be exciting – provided you know the kinds of things the other person likes. Some of you may find yourself in the position of having to give a gift to a Russian person – maybe at an office party or some other social event; perhaps you are visiting the home of a family that emigrated from Russia for a celebration. Each culture is somewhat unique with regards to the kinds of gifts that are exchanged. Our subject for today will be a general outline of gift-giving etiquette for a Russian man or woman.
Should you be invited to a party at the home of a Russian family, you certainly will want to bring a gift for the host. Your host(s) will definitely be spending much time, energy, and money to prepare for the party and they ought to be rewarded with a token of your appreciation. Keep in mind that gender certainly makes a difference with regards to the kind of gifts that are considered appropriate – I suppose this is the case everywhere though.
If the host is a female, many gifts might be appropriate. You might wish to give her some type of fancy chocolate – not Hershey’s. Many Russian women are fond of quality chocolate. Depending on the woman, flowers may be a great option; the type would depend on the occasion and preference. It is important to remember that with flowers, bring an odd number; an even number is appropriate at funerals. Wine may also work depending upon your host’s preferences. Food dishes can be a good option – try to make sure that the dish chosen is acceptable to the host. Should your host be a man, a nice bottle of vodka, cognac, or perhaps whiskey will do the trick; beer could also be appropriate. Tequila is also becoming more popular with Russians. Of course, all ideas contained within this blog depend on the host’s preferences. Wine, chocolate, and flowers tend to be gender specific gifts and would not be proper to give to men.
It is also important that you get something small for the children if there are any.
Should you need to get a gift for a Russian man or woman at a work party or some other occasion, some of the aforementioned gifts will work well too. For women, fancy chocolate, wine, and maybe perfume will work. Perhaps you could give her a household item such as a candle or tea cups would be an option. Avoid jewelry, make-up, or anything noticeably cheap – this is true in most cultures I believe. For men, again you could give him a nice bottle of hard liquor, perhaps cufflinks, maybe even beer.
In my opinion, you’d never give a Russian person a Matryoshka – or stack doll. This may be like giving an American flag to an American – they’ve seen thousands and while they may appreciate them, they don’t necessarily want them as presents.
The best rule of thumb is to consider your relationship with the person and proceed accordingly. The better you know the person, the more information you’ll have regarding their personal tastes. Russian people, like most others, will appreciate any gifts that you give them; however, it should be our goal to help the recipient to not only appreciate the gift, but to really like it. Should you have any questions about gifts to give Russian people, I’d love to help.
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About the Author: Jenya
Born in Russia, I spent the first twenty years of my life in Orenburg, Russia and Mogilev, Belarus. For the last eleven years, I've lived in New Hampshire and Michigan, US. While I continue to absorb and adapt to American culture, I am always thrilled to share my Russian heritage with those who find it interesting. Travel, photography and art play a special part in my life. Twitter: @iamnx2u
Comments:
Alex:
Looks like you necessarily have to give alcohol to men. And what if the Russian male friend I’d like to give a present doesn’t drink?
Yes they exist, apparently
Anna:
Alex, you basically give them alcohol and then they in turn give it to someone else as a present 😉 If it is not a birthday present or a New Year present to a close friend then it works all right. As for B-day presents, I’d go for some instruments – most Russian men I meet either are fond of minor “do it yourself” repairs or feel flattered when others think they are fond of that. Gadgets might be OK as well, but then you have to know what the man actually needs.
Ronnie Studley:
great article! thanks!
GadgetsCrazy:
great article! thanks!
Arunkarthick:
I absolutely loved reading this post. Thanks for making the article interesting and informative till the end! Keep inspiring us.
Conservative:
Is it normal for married russian women to call a colleague who is married as well with sweetheart. And even gave shaving cream etc on his birthday? Is it part of the culture?
Jenya:
@Conservative Conservative, this is a tricky question. I would say it would be considered more normal in Russian culture than in American culture to give a colleague shaving cream. As for routinely calling him on the phone (if I understood you correctly), that might need further investigation :-).
Conservative:
Thank you for the reply. Well, she calls my husband in chats as ‘sh’ which i presume as sweetheart, is this normal?
Conservative:
Thank you for the reply. Well, she calls my husband in chats as ‘sh’ which i presume as sweetheart, is this normal? My husband said, she mentions to him and later said its just a joke, that her lover left and she is sad. Btw, im not american but Asian. So, I am just curiois with the culture coz I dont know how to draw the line of being jealous or not.
Jenya:
@Conservative Steve, totally agree with you on insecurity; insecurity can drive a great relationship straight into the ground.
Conservative, I think every relationship has its own “normal”; what is acceptable in one may be totally unacceptable in another. It certainly feels like you have a few unanswered questions and I believe only the one you are with can truly clarify things for you. Perhaps, an open minded conversation would do you both some good. Letting him know that certain things bother you and deciding together where to draw the line with that colleague might be a step in the right direction :-). Good luck!
Steve:
Lol. Don’t be insecure or jealous. Always trust the one your with and it will just breed a stoner relationship.
Steve:
Stronger relationship***
Conservative:
Thank you for the advise. I just talked and sorted it out with my husband and told him i am uncomfortable with it. Hopefully, things will be fine.
@jenya-your so pretty 🙂
Jenya:
@Conservative Conservative, I know there are plenty of books on the market about intercultural relationships, you might try reading one together. My husband and I read one about 6 years ago, it was pretty informative and fun :-). Thank you very much for the compliment (enough Photoshop can make anyone look pretty good 😀 ).
Conservative:
Thank you. We are both the same nationality. We have been married for almost 10years, and we are happy until this lady in the office starts working with him and she is Russian and also married. So i am trying to understand why she acts like too close, is it the culture or not. She told my husband his lover left and she is sad. And she sends selfie pic of herself and even with her daughter. So im really confused. But atleast now i was able to talk to him and told him how i felt. Thank you.
Jenya:
@Conservative Aaaaa, I see. If she is sad, she should cry about it to her girlfriend, not someone else’s husband (in my humble opinion). I hope you guys figure things out :-).
Conservative:
*her lover left
Bob:
I have a Russian boss who is a good guy however I accepted another job and its causing a lot of disgruntled feelings. Business is business and he should understand that but as a parting gift to make amends of some sorts what would be a good Russian gift to do so. Is there some sort of traditional gift to make amends besides a bottle of vodka?
Thanks
Beth:
I am unsure if this will sound odd but here goes…for the past couple months I have been going to a new dentist and she is Russian, well she has gone above and beyond to help me with dental issues stemming from childhood. To the point of not charging me or paying out of her own pocket for expensive very much needed dental work that my own insurance fails to cover. She has given me a new outlook on life and made me feel confident for the first time in 20 years… From her accent I can surmise she spent most of her life in Russia and now lives in America. What type of gift can I give her as a heart felt thank you for all she has done for me? I thought maybe ordering something from Russia would be nice, “a little something from home” so to say.
Deah Wilson:
I’m from Michigan and am exchanging gifts with a fb friend and would love to give her something made in Michigan. We’ve agreed to small gifts and I also have to consider shipping, customs etc. Like the stacking dolls are an iconic representation of Russia I’d like to give her an classic American gift or something that is sought after or hard to get in Russia.
Thanks Deah