Tips and tricks for Swedes in friendliness Posted by Katja on Oct 3, 2011 in Culture, Living in Sweden
Not too long ago I wrote a post on how physical I experienced Swedes being after I came back from Japan. A lot of the responses were that you did not at all feel Swedes were particularly physical and had on the contrary felt that they were rather cold and quite distant. I can understand this opinion as well even thought it pains me a little. Nobody wants their country’s people to be perceived as unfriendly, so I thought “can’t all of you guys write down some suggestions for what could make Swedes feel a little more friendly?”. That would mean that on this particular topic, your observations of Swedes, your personal experiences and what you know of Sweden will be of great help.
You can give specific incidents when you thought that Swedes felt extremely cold or just something more in general, like you were standing in line at the cash register and the person behind you never said a word. Or the fact that people open doors for each other more as an exception than a rule.
Anything can be interesting, since it is often very hard to perceive yourself in a cultural context. Thanks for your help and here’s to a rewarding discussion!
Build vocabulary, practice pronunciation, and more with Transparent Language Online. Available anytime, anywhere, on any device.
Comments:
Nikki:
To be honest, I don’t find them unfriendly at all. I come from England, and I find Swedes very much the same as the English; a little reserved at first, but always happy to lend a helping hand or give a smile.
I think all cities are the same; I never talk to strangers as a rule so in that respect Stockholm was very much like London or Birmingham. I can imagine someone coming from a place where strangers talk to each other a lot could perceive the Swedes as unfriendly, but then they would also perceive the English as unfriendly too!
Starla:
Oh I don’t think they’re “unfriendly,” just shy 🙂 But that doesn’t bother me, because I am just as shy! Just another reason I am fond of Sweden.
SmillaBlue:
I had a situation in Sweden where I was in a “Pressbyrå” and the cashier was on the phone with somebody while I queued. And there were two people in front of and more behind me waiting for her to end that call. And she hang up after like five minutes and nobody said something. I also read in a guide book that Swedes don´t complain (much).
But I love them anyway XD
Natasza:
It’s not usual (it seems) to invite a friend to stay with you when they’re in your city/country. But fortunately me and my friend taught our Swedish friend to be more open about it after he visited us in Poland and then the re-visit was no problem when we came for a couple of days to Malmo 🙂 In Poland it is quite common to offer accomodation for your friend that comes to your city instead of finding a hotel for them 🙂
Rachel:
When I went to Sweden the past summer for the first time. That they take a long time to do anything, they are real relaxed, and never seem to be that stressed or in a hurry. For an American who likes to be on time for things this can either be relaxing or stressful! I found the people I interacted with to be reserved but very friendly. I also observed if you hand a Swedes a drink they act like your best friends and are not reserved at all!!
These are just things I was able to experience. I also noticed things being more family centered which I liked. Overall I think they are pretty friendly.
Ozzy:
Response to your questions. You may be aware that I’m Deaf. I have often to visit in Malmö and Luleå. I regularly to visit Sweden couple of times a year because of my Swedish fiancée’s family. I actually seen many Swedish staff from shopping, cafes and shops and being friendly and keep smile. I’m from London, UK. I have experience with unfriendly people in England. I noticed that some staff from shopping, shops, restaurants, cafes and pubs are being unfriendly from all over the UK. I don’t know why that. I’m still learning to Swedish writing and Swedish Sign Language from my Swedish fiancée teach me. I love to hear from your info.
Suzanne Henry:
I visited Sweden for the first time last month and found the Swedes very friendly. But, they did not *initiate* the way that Americans do. So, I don’t find them physical but I don’t find them cold either. They are neutral and wait for you to make the first move. When you do make that first move, they are extremely helpful, willing and pleasant. I look forward to going back to Sweden soon.
paula:
I find svensk often quite rude. Many times I have been in line to checkout when someone goes behind me and pushes me as they go through the checkout line without purchasing. I object to being “moved” by strangers, without a word. A simple “ursäkta” would have gotten my attention and I would have moved without being pushed. I have also had 2 experiences with children pushing child carts in the grocery stores, running into me. One kid said “OJ!” and his mother said nothing. The other kid just ran into me and kept on running. It is not as though we are in an extremely “crowded” environment, with only 9 million people, and I am in the Northern part of Sweden. There is no reason “my personal space” must be invaded, without a word. I do not touch other strangers, I wait for them to move away, or I excuse myself if I am in their way. Why aren´t they taught to do the same?