Let’s get this straight:

Teachers are not there to be made fun of.

In fact, being a teacher is truly a noble profession.

The “Prince of Arab Poets“, Ahmed Chawki, is renown for having once said:

قُـمْ للمعـــــــلّمِ وَفِّــــــــــهِ التبجيـلا    * * *  كـــــــــادَ المعلّمُ أن يكــــــــونَ رســــــــــولا

“Stand Up for Your Teacher to Offer The Due Respect

For the Teacher is Virtually a Prophet”

Unfortunately, not all students realize this important fact. Not all of them know the true meaning of الأخــــــلاق (good manners), and not all of them are exactly “model students.”

Some of them are a real pain in the neck: مشاغبــــــــــون (rascals)!

Besides, not all the teachers are up to the challenging task of teaching, and very few of them are endowed with a sense of humor…

Finally, none of them are معصــــــومون (infallible) as are the Prophets!

The following conversation between a primary school teacher and his student may serve to illustrate this point quite effectively:

“! الأستــــــــــاذ : “أنت، إذهب وأحضر لي شيئًــــا أشربه

The teacher: “You, go and bring me something to drink”

“الطالـــــب : “كوكا أم بيبســــــي، يا سيدي ؟

The student: “Coke or Pepsi, Sir?”

“الأستــــــــــاذ  : “أريد فقط شيئًا لأشربه. لا يهم، كوكا أم بيبســــــي

The teacher: “I just want something to drink. It doesn’t matter, Coke or Pepsi”

“الطالـــــب  : “صفر أم عـــــــادي ؟

The student: “Zero or regular”

“الأستــــــــــاذ  : “عـــــــادي 

The teacher: “Regular”

“الطالـــــب  : “بلاستيك أم زجـــــــــــاج ؟

The student: “Plastic or glass?”

“الأستــــــــــاذ  : “بلاستيك

The teacher: “Plastic”

“الطالـــــب  : “لتر أم 2 لتر؟

The student: “One litter or 2 litters?”

“! الأستــــــــــاذ  : “لا علينا، أحضر لي قارورة ماء 

The teacher: “It doesn’t matter, bring me a bottle of water!”

“الطالـــــب  : “معدني أم طبيعي ؟

The student: “Mineral or tap?”

“الأستــــــــــاذ  : “معدني

The teacher: “Mineral”

“الطالـــــب  : “بارد أم ساخن ؟

The student: “Cold or warm?”

“الأستــــــــــاذ  :” هل تريد أن أضربك ؟

The teacher: “You want me to hit you?”

“الطالـــــب  : “بالعصا أم بالحذاء ؟

The student: “With the stick or with the shoe?”

“! الأستــــــــــاذ  : “أنت فعلًا حيوان

The teacher: “You truly are an animal!”

“الطالـــــب  : “بقرة، زرافــــــة، أم ماذا ؟

The student: “A cow, a giraffe, or what?”

“! الأستــــــــــاذ : “اخرج من القسم، حالًا

The teacher: “Get out of the classroom, now!”

“الطالـــــب  :”عبر النافـــذة أم الباب ؟

The student: “Through the window or the door?”

“الأستــــــــــاذ  : “رايـــح أقتلك يا ولد

The teacher: “I’m gonna kill you, son”

“الطالـــــب   : “بسكين عادي أم بساطور ؟

The student: “With a regular knife or with a butcher’s knife?”

“الأستــــــــــاذ : “بساطــــور

The teacher: “With a butcher’s knife”

“الطالـــــب  : “في بطنـــــي أم في رأسي ؟

The student: “In my belly or in my head ?”

“! الأستــــــــــاذ   : “أنت فِعلًا كـــــــــارثــــــــــــــــة

The teacher: “You truly are a catastrophe!”

“الطالـــــب  : “زلــــــــــزال، تسونـــــــــامي، أم بركـــــــــــــان ؟

The student: “An earthquake, a Tsunami, or a volcano?”

(…)

At which point the teacher فقد صوابــــــــــه (totally lost his mind) and left the classroom running…

* * *

In the same line of “academic shenanigans”, you may want to check “مدرســـــــــــــة المشاغبيــــــــــــــن” (“The School of Rascals”), a top “classic” Egyptian comedy!